My Flower, Her Fire
by Edit
Summary: Edward leaves in New Moon. Victoria goes to kill Bella but doesn't.
1. This Is Where It Began

It had been months since I last kissed him, and even longer since I had last seen him... I am still as broken as I was the moment I found he was dead.

"Victoria," Laurent's accented voice acknowledged my presence from somewhere near.

I did not answerer. I was too busy trying to find the part in my mind that I was saving for him.

"Victoria," Laurent whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped up and pushed him away, sending him flying into the trunk of one of the trees that surrounded us. I had found that part I was searching for – anger, betrayal. As soon as his back hit the tree with a crash, I was on him, pulling him off the ground by his neck and holding him to the tree.

"Why did you leave us," I screamed, my voice radiating through the mountains.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his face in earnest regret and grief. "I didn't know my absence mattered."

"You left us," I sobbed, squeezing his throat tighter. "Most of all you left him, your friend. We have known each other for so long! How could just betray us like that?? You left us..."

Laurent looked into my eyes his with a tenderness I did not know burgundy could show.

"Ne criez pas, cher, cher ami(Do not cry, dear one, dear friend.)," he began in French, his native language,"L'auréole que les bords votre coeur font le lustre de soleil.( The glory thatedges your heart makes a chandelier of sun.)" He paused for a moment to lift his hand to my cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb.

"Soyez forts, peu un,(Be strong, little one.)," he continued."Il est seulement parti. Vous vous verrez de nouveau. Vous irez faire, vous aller faire, vous irez faire. L'amour est la forte et vraie, jolie fille.(He has only gone away. You will see each other again. You will, you will, you will. Love is strong and true, pretty girl."

Like always, his words healed the anger and hate I was previously feeling for him. As soon as I released him from my hold, he put his arms around me. I tried to fight him, but he would not let me go... I didn't really want him to.

"Victoria, life will continue," he urged.

"No," I screamed, falling to my knees, and he followed. "Non! Ma vie est finie. Il est parti! James is gone!"

"Votre amour est pour toujours. Do you understand? It is forever," he growled, holding me tighter. I just sank into gravity, letting someone else hold my weight for awhile, like James used to.

I was not used to having to hold it myself by myself for so long. I for decades always had James there to take in my heart when it was heavy... I've had to hold it all by myself these past months.

We must have stayed like that for an hour before we disengaged. I deiced I could hold my self together and got up. I walked aimlessly forward, and could hear Laurent following my trail wordlessly. It wasn't until I reached the precipice of the peak that I stopped. I stared out over the small body of water that separated me from the Port Angeles. It really wouldn't take that long to swim to the place my enemy breathed.

"Victoria, don't," Laurent begged, already knowing what was formulating in my head. "The family is strong. The boy has a talent that will destroy you. At least let me go over there as a friend and learn their strengths and weaknesses. Then I will come back and tell you."

I considered the thought, but something inside me screamed that it should not be that way. That it will not work. Something will be in the way. "No... It is too dangerous for you."

"You will not be able to kill him, Victoria," Laurent yelled with authority.

I turned around to look him in the eyes. They were full of emotion that made my heart stop aching for the tiniest moment.

"You have forever to heal," He whispered. "I will be here with you, I promise."

I gave him a small smile. "Forever is an illusion, Laurent. He was suppose to be forever, but... The truth of things is that nothing is forever! Happiness is not a permanent state. One day, a wrong choice will be made, and it's power is stronger than any force ever known. Life is real... Love is real... Death is real... Forever doesn't exist for anything, even you, even me!

"If I can not have my happiness, neither will he. I will, like he did to me, rip his joy from his reach, demolish the love he saved by killing mine. I may not be able to kill him, but I can dessicate him for the rest of whatever his forever may be."

Laurent spread his arms out to me, welcoming my body, but I refused with a shake of my head. "Not this time, Laurent..."

"I love you," he whispered closing his arms. "Please let me follow."

I walked over to him, and lightly kissed his hard cheek. "I beg you don't. You are my only friend, and I need you to be here when I get back... If I come back. Goodbye."

Before he could say anything, I turned and ran as fast I could off the cliff. As I descended down to cold, trashing waves of the Pacific's salty water. I felt everything fall away for the seconds I was airborne. Once the water engulfed my hair, my chest, my legs, and my feet, I was off swimming with as much strength and speed my body would allow.

Soon, I would be there. I would take what was taken from me... She would die and I would be satisfied.


	2. Things I Can't Identify

The stars had been out for hours when I arrived in Forks. It had only taken me 2 hours to swim to the shore of Port Angeles, and the sun was just rimming the horizon. But I felt a little weak, so I had to take a detour in order to feel comfortable and confident in my strength. If I did run into my Hate(Edward), I wanted to be at my peak in ability, and if I did get the girl tonight, I dot want to finish her off too quickly... I had a long and painful night planned for the little thing. I was going to enjoy every second of pain, screams, and pleas she would utter.

Afraid that if I hunted in the state the Cullens might suspect something and put the human under heavy observation, making my wish harder to obtain, so I ran quickly into the mountains of California, where many people liked to camp. I found three middle aged men, drunk and spluttering around the forest lost. Full from the first mans' blood, unnecessarily, I killed all of them. I made it quick so there was not much pain for them, only fear.

Because of my large meal, I ran a somewhat sluggish pace back to Washington. I took every precaution I could to scratch out or at least limit my possibilities at getting detected, while trying to sense others whereabouts.

I made it without any disruptions to my destination. The last time I had been to this house was by request of James almost a year ago. He asked me to search the house cleanly and quietly, so the Cullens couldn't guess any of our moves. It was strategy! We were good at this game, and knew we would win... I still am not completely sure how it came to the way it ended. God must have told them of our plans...

I circled the simple house, looking for a sent, the sent, but found nothing other than the fading stench of dog. It surprised me to find the air only carrying her father's dull smell, and her floral fragrance that I longed to taste. Still taking as much precaution as possible, I climbed the shingles that covered the whole house to the window that was the girls room. I peaked quickly into it to find one body lying under a heavy blanket. There was no other sound coming from the room other than the thump of a strong heart.

I silently opened the unlocked window and slid in. The room was like the outside, radiating with the beautiful smell. Only her smell! Unlike the last time I was in this room - the whole area was full of him. It was potent on the rocking chair, in her clothes, but mainly and most strongly on the bed... I wonder how he could have sex with the fragility of a human and not kill her, especially this girl who smelled so sweet.

Sure that I was not going to be ambushed, I walked over to the sleeping child's form. Each step was becoming difficult to maintain; I wasted so badly to leap and kill! Balling my hands into fists and digging my nails into my skin, I kept control, going through all the things I had planed to do to this girl.

It was strange - I didn't remember the girls sent being so strong before. But then again, the only times I had smelled it was in a wide field filled with many other scents and on her clothing. It is so very different having it living so solely in the consciousness of the air.

"I can see way my James wanted you, Bella," I whispered so quietly, I knew it would not wake her whiled crawling as delicate as I could on to the small bed. "I want you myself."

Once positioned on the bed properly, her face not even a foot away from mine, I moved the light layer of brown hair that covered it, exposing the sleep beaten face with swollen lips and deep circles around the eyes. At the soft movement, she made a pained expression and did something that changed everything.

She took a deep breath when I exhaled, and scooted closer to me. I froze in shock when her thin, warm arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and her face slid down to my shoulder, where it rested contently. Once she was settled, she took another deep breath and smiled a sad smile, still deep asleep.

Something in me moved, or maybe it disappeared and came back at the same time... I couldn't quite fathom what had happen. I was paralyzed, searching for what I did not come here to look for.

I wanted to run away way screaming because of the strangeness of the moment. She had just curled into me, her death. I wanted so badly to lift her to my mouth and plunge my teeth into her white skin! But there was this other part... This foreign part that I had met before, but couldn't remember feeling. This part was enjoying that gentle feeling of the girls body draped next to mine. It is always a nice feeling, being held in the way she her arms encased me. I missed that part most of having love so close.

'James', I roared to the part of me that was begging to have mercy on the little girl, my enemies lover. Trying to put my thirst completely in control, I bent down and put my face into her soft hair and took the deepest of breath, but it did not have the result I wished. There was only pain – physical and mental.

My brain was at war, segregated by anger and something new - caring for the life of my prey. I found myself contemplating if killing her would really make that much of a difference. James was not coming back, and for all I know, Edward wasn't either. Because I didn't smell the Cullens anywhere in the town or near towns, he might have got bored with her and left. Maybe if I did drink her to death, it wouldn't phase him the slightest.

Why should I end this life for no other reasons than anger for someone who probably left her and the wonderful way she smells. Why would I want to bring her the death her possibly no-longer-mate sent mine. None of what she's done deserved what had planed to give her. It was we, James and I, that through the first stone.

Promising my self I was only going to give into those thoughts for a minute, I wrapped my arms around her breakable bones of the warm being, shocking myself at the audacity. Suddenly, her hands gripped my shirt tightly as a small sob murmured from her lips. My arms jerked away from her, thinking I may have crushed some part of her.

I fully believed that when she stated to cry, turning her head into my chest, but then she cried, "Edward." Her hands moved up my torso, making me shiver and become frozen again. Soon her hands went over the lump that was my breast and she froze too. I heard her heart pick up in pace as she started to wake. Painfully slow, realization hit her.

She lifted her head from me and looked down at her hand, and she carefully removed it. Then she lifted her head, taking my body inch by inch until she found my face. Her dark, watery eyes opened wide as she gasped. Then, strangely, she sighed a sigh of relief, two tears crawling out of her eyes in harmony with each other.

"Please, don't do this here," she whispered, looking at me with a demanding plea shouting in her dark irises, touching something new and old inside of me.

I took a deep breath, filling myself with her, reminding myself what I was here to do. I smiled kindly at her and she smiled back.

"Hold on," I commanded her in a soothing voice.

She obediently wrapped her arms around my neck, as I hooked her legs around my waist and wrapped my arms around hers.

I shot off from the bed straight out the still opened window. As soon as my feet his the cool grass, I took off deep into the woods in a random direction. Victoria, you are still going to do this just like you wanted, I told told myself. I appeased the part of me that didn't want to kill her with this little mercy of not killing her with her father near, but that did not mean that any of my plans where going to change... She will die, I told myself over and over as I ran, but first I had to find one thing out.


	3. Conscience

Declaimer: So, I don't know why I have to say this because this is a fan fiction website, and obviously I don't own any characters, soooooo this is pretty redundant.... whatever.... Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, and that's okay because mine are so much cooler! =-D

A/N: I didn't even try to edit this thing, so, like, have mercy on my dyslexic soul!

**CONSCIENCE**

Nothing... There was nothing... Not even a hint that they had even lived here. Well, the the furniture was still here, but even that wouldn't suggest that vampires once inhabited the area – we're not ones for flashy style.

"They're gone," I said stupidly out loud, still amazing.

The girl, who was just standing at the entrance of the door, like there was an invisible wall stopping her from entering, was looking empty eyed at the continence of the house, nodded.

Frustrated, I walked over to her, and pulled her into the lonely house. She stumbled forward, tripping a little over her own feet into the living room. I watch her curiously as her gaze fell hard on a grand piano that sat quietly. She just stared at it with the most blank expression I'd ever scene.

"They have been gone for months, haven't they?," I asked her, stepping in font of her view of the piano.

Expression came back into her face when I did that. She looked down at the ground, and then back at my face, a fresh tear falling down her face as she blinked.

"Yes," she said in a mere whisper, before turning around and walking up the large staircase that took up a pretty big portion of the room.

I watched her leave my sight, thinking about her sorrowful answer. 'Yes' she had said... He did leave her... Why?, I thought. He was so keen on keeping her in existence when I had last seen him, and that was only about 10 months ago. That meant...

Fearing the worst, I ran up the stairs, smelling around, searching for her. When I found her, she was in a room that had a long, large window across one side of the room and CD's along the other. She looked like she was sleeping, curled up on a leather couch, breathing evenly.

"Hey," I said, tapping her foot with my hand. "Getup. You're going to tell me what I want to know."

She didn't move, making me find patience I never had to enforce before. Thinking of her obviously frail state, I bent down to where her head was, and as softly as my strength would let me, I stroked her hair... She flinched at my sudden touch, but then relaxed, opening her eyes.

"Why did they leave?," I asked sweetly.

She fought a sob, her faces scrunching up horrifically, but once the battle was over, she answered. "He doesn't want me anymore..."

No! No... There must be a different reason. James did not die for no reason!, my brain exploded. I was going to kill her and it was going to matter, affect him in a evil ways! It had too! He loved her like I love James! It's not true! He wouldn't leave her...

"Did something big happen before they left you," I asked in the same tone, but this time whipped away some of her tears.

She was having a frenzy of hiccups, but answered. "I-I-It was my birthday party. I cut my finger, and-and Jasper tried to att-attack me." She fell apart after those words. "I told him it was okay," she sobbed into the leather. "I wasn't hurt. I wasn't mad, but he didn't listen. He said I didn't belong. He promised it would be as if he never existed, but he lied. Just look, you're here."

I watched her display of pain with pity. He had hurt her deeply... If I did kill her, it would be better than letting her drowned in what she was feeling. It would be kind almost - like a gift. Plus, it sounds like he left her for reasons that suggested it was in the interest of her betterment. Maybe he was trying to protect her, the one he loved. If I killed her, that meant that he failed at his plan, and I would have succeeded at mine. I would have won!

She continued to sob loudly, pooling the leather with tears. Her face was turned into the leather, exposing the delicate flesh of her neck. To be kind, I was going to forget my earlier plans of torture for the little girl, and make it a quick end. I leaned down to where her skin was framed by her hair, and as I did, she stopped her tears. I heard her heart quicken, and her breath shudder.

I put my lips to her skin, and took a deep breath, enjoying the wistful feeling forming in my throat. I was finally going to have her, and I felt no internal interruptions. I pulled my lips away from my teeth, preparing myself, but then she ruined everything.

"Please make this quick," she said in a calm and clear voice, vibrating the skin under my mouth, surprising me.

I stumbled back, growling in frustration.

She shot up from the couch into a sitting position, and gave me a look I will never forget. Her eyebrows tried to touch each other as concern crawled into her eyes.

"Shut up," I yelled at her. "or I'll make this as painful as I originally wanted it to be."

The look passed into fear as she bit her lip and closed her eyes. "Sorry," she said lowly.

I rolled my eyes. "Come here," I commanded, pulling her roughly to her feet by her upper arms. She let a little gasp of pain that I tried to ignore, but it still worked its way into my knowing.

I pulled her to me, not leaving much distance between our bodies - I could feel the warmth of her skin on mine. I moved the hair that hung over her left shoulder. The skin was smooth and still irritated from when my teeth were there. As I leaned down again, everything was so quiet - neither of us were breathing. The only sound in the room was her heart, soft, rhythmic, but most of all, calm.

Like I usually do before I take my prey, I listened to it's gentleness, enjoying it's dance. It makes me feel powerful - having the strength to kill, to end all for someone.

Life – it's something no one asked for, nor would want to give away. It's amazing beauty and excruciating pain is such a precious thing no one really knows until they see the end of it... Until it is endangered. I am a reaper... I decided when the end is for so many... I love to kill! It is why I am alive...

What makes her so different from all the others!!

Screaming, I pushed her away, and back on to the couch with a heavy sound. I immediately looked to her to make sure she was not hurt, but then, sickened by myself that I should care, I picked her back up and put her to my mouth...

I couldn't do it. I fought with myself for minutes on end to no avail. It was like trying to pull a trigger on a gun that was held to your head - I could have killed her easily, but some force within myself was screaming that I would be in regret for the rest of my life.

I pulled my face away from her neck and looked into her eyes, trying to find an explanation for the sudden life of my conscience, but found nothing but brown, nothing special or unique, just a lifeless color.

"What is so different about you?," I asked the fear frozen girl.

She swallowed hard, and shrugged the smallest of shrugs. "I smell good."

I couldn't believe it but that response made me laugh. "Yeah," I agreed.

I led her back over to the black couch, sat her down, and plopped down next to her. She didn't relax, and for a strange reason, that bothered me.

"I'm not going to kill you," I told her, trying to sooth the tenseness of her shoulders.

"Your not," she choked, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

I sighed in disappointment. "Nope... Well, not tonight anyways," I amended. "So you can calm down and breath the air I didn't plan for you to breath."

She didn't mold into the couch like I wished, but she did seem comfortable with her safety.

"Can I ask why?," she said quietly.

"No," I growled.

"Then can I go home?," she breathed, looking intently at me with both eyes.

"Look," I said in a harsh tone. "I said you could live. Be grateful for that, or I might change my decision. Now, I'm gonna hang on to you for awhile encase Edward shows up. If he doesn't, and I still don't feel like making you a feast, I might let you go back home! But if you keep complaining and asking questions, That defiantly won't happen, okay?"

Her eyes got watery again, not what I was wanted to see in my frustrated mood, but she nodded.

"Hey, stop all that crying, will you?," I tried to say kindly, but it really came out a demand. "It does not need to be that dramatic. It's better this way. You should be thanking me."

"Yes, ma'am," she replied in a tight voice, dashing the almost tears from her eyes.

"Come on, lets go," I said, picking her up, throwing her gently over my shoulder, and dashing off into the woods.

* * *

**_FUN FACT:_**

For reasons I'm not quite sure of, I listened to _Britney Spear's Womanizer_ the whole time I was writing this... So if it has a strange air to it, blame it on Britney.

P.S. I'm not in anyway a Britney fan!!!!!!! It's just some of her songs are so hard to get out my head if I hear them.


	4. Sunglasses

**_A/N:_** Okay, so, I edited it to the best of my 8th grade ability. If it's not good enough, I invite anyone who wants to edit my work for me to do so. I'm serious, I hate doing it! I suppose everyone does though... Oh, well... The pains for writers are inescapable. But cheah, this chapter is different - Victoria's constantly bringing up her deep feelings like this is some kind of therapy session... I didn't do that this time... Hope you like!

I don't own the characters(duh)!!! Well, besides one...

* * *

**_SUNGLASSES_**

'From places that are deep inside of our being, places we will never understand, we secretly makes decisions that seem irrational to our active senses and thoughts, but they cannot be swayed, only suffered and enjoyed'....

That was the last little bit of wisdom James ever gave me. At the time, like most of his amazing words that seemed like riddles, I smiled, not even trying to understand what he possibly could have meant. But, now... then – when I was driving the human girl, my James murder's love, away to somewhere I hadn't decided, I found understanding in James genius, random remark. It fit together perfectly in my scatter and pained mind.

Everything in me screamed to kill the girl except this barely existent and very powerful part my head. It controlled something deeper than desire, need, and hate. What I would have given to silence it, to put an end to it's constant beat. It was drowning me, mocking my will with each thump! I never met something so harmless and so painful as this girl's heart. There's something about it that doesn't make any comprehensible logic!

I wanted her dead more than anything that hour:

"Where are we going?," she asked fearfully when we flew across the state line of North Dakota and into Wisconsin.

It was the first thing she said since we had left Forks, but her voice was agony to my ears. Anything that came from her was annoyingly alive, reminding me I was becoming a slave to something weak inside of myself. The only thing that kept me from what I wanted was me! I had never felt anything more humiliating, and my humiliation was in the seat next to me... breathing always!!!!

"I don't know yet," I growled, gripping the steering wheel tighter than before, hinting to her not to speak again.

"Will you know where soon?," she asked in a whisper, making my anger even hotter.

"You are brave," I mumbled to myself too softly for her to hear. "Why do you want to know," I continued in a controlled voice, so I would actually get an answer.

She was quite, and I was happy for the silence, but frustrated she didn't answer what I asked.

I was about to yell at her, but then she spluttered, "I have to use the restroom."

I rolled my eyes, but speed up. "Fine! The next gas station! I want to get a different car anyways."

I had to steal a different car every time the gas ran out, because I didn't want to have to go through the whole 'go into the place to get gas that I didn't have any money for'. Then I'd have to kill everyone in there, causing too much attention and time. So, I would find someone walking to theirs seduce them, kill them, and take their keys. That easy! That was the third car I had that night.

Because she knew this, she begged, "No, no! Just pull off somewhere!"

"No," I yelled, completely silencing her. "The gas is low! Do you want me to run the rest of the way to wherever it is I am going? I need to get a different vehicle!"

Swallowing hard, she leaned forward, and began to dig through the glove box. I didn't even look to see what she was doing - there was no way she could harm me or escape me.

"Here," she said shoving something in my face after a few minutest of searching.

I snatched it from her, and found that it was money.

"There," she whispered. "Now you can just buy gas."

I let out a loud roar of anger. "Did you ever think maybe I was hungry!"

She sunk into the seat and closed her eyes, shaking. "You've eaten so much in the past 17 hours already."

I looked at her, glare on full blast, my anger finally showing! Unable to control myself, my hand flew as soft as I could muster in the burst of rage to her face in an extremely audible slap, knocking her head all the way into her right shoulder. I watch with radiating worry as her hand flew to her face. She did make any noise for a long time, just held her hand to her face. I was afraid I may have knocker her out or given her brain damage.

Not being able to stand the suspense any longer, I pulled her hand from her face. She didn't look at me, just flinched repetitively. It was dark red, and already starting to bruise.

"I...," I started but didn't finish.

The next ten minutes were that way. Then I pulled into a gas station, one with a cover of course – it was midday, the sun high in the very clear sky.

"I'll only be moments," she said quietly.

"If you try anything, I will know - I can hear very, very well, but I'm sure you know that."

Quickly, stumbling a little bit, she go out of the car and paced into the gas station. I kept a keen ear to her, to see if she would really disobey me, while I looked for a car. I did, during the silence after I hit her, think about using the money, but, just because she inputted it, immediately threw it out of my options. The first thing I found(a large, black, brand new SUV with very tented windows, a must for any car I chose) was at the gas pump right next to me, luckily under the cover.

The person who owned it was a black man(22, maybe 24) with baggy clothing, sunglasses that I fell in love with, and a wide smile on his face. I smiled invidiously, like I did/do when set up game.

"How are you," he said, flirtatiously.

"Well," I began in a voice that would turn him on, "I have this little problem."

"A problem? Oh, no, baby, we can't have that. How can I help?"

I walked closer to him, and leaned on the gas pump he was using, leaning in. He looked down, and saw I wore no shoe, and my pants were pretty ripped and jagged. His eyes filled with honest concern. "My car is not gonna make it into the next city, and I need to get there really, really bad!"

"Uh...," he said, a little entranced. "Do you need gas money or something? I could totally fill your tank! No issue about it." As he said it, he was already taking out his wallet.

"No, no," I urged, grabbing the hand that was going through the many bills that were in the leather wallet. "It's my engine. Something's wrong with it."

He looked at the fairly new car with an odd expression. "I could give it a look," he said beginning to walk to the car.

I put my hands on his chest, and looked him up and down. "I don't want it fixed. I want you to drive me." I put as much meaning as I could in my voice and eyes that he was starting at with a little nervously.

"You have red eyes," he said, accidentally.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, my mom's albino... I luckily just got her eyes and skin." I don't know if that is scientifically possible, but he seemed to believe it. "They're ugly, I know..." I looked down and tried my best to act ashamed of myself.

"Naaaaw," he said quickly. "They're beautiful."

I looked up at him like I just fell in love, and then I turned my gaze into something sexually wistful. I put my hand in his, like people do when they greet one another, but I didn't shake it. "Hello. I'm Becca, and I need a ride... Do you mind driving me?"

He shook his head with so much enthusiasm. "Hell, yeah!"

Right then, the store doors jingled as my hostage walked out. I turned my eyes to her, my hand was still in the mans hand. She looked from me to him, her eyes starting to water for like the nine-hundredth time. I stared at her with a fury, summing her to my side, and she got the memo.

"This is my friend Krissy," I introduced her, giving her the name I used for the last male who owned the car I was about to dump. I don't really need to use a fake name, but James always told me to take precautions, even if they're unnecessary.

"Hi," he said looking at her intensely, and then panic came into his voice, "Oh, my God, are you 'kay, girl? Your cheek looks like you just got in a fight."

She looked at me, making his gaze shift to me as well.

"Her boyfriend is an ass," I said for her. "We're running from both him and mine. Our fathers are in the next town. That's why we want to get there, but after meeting you, I think there might be a delay."

His eyes got wide with excitement as he went over to the passenger door, me following, and opened it. "The next town, huh?"

We all got in and he pulled out into the street. I made small talk, hinting to little things that involved sex every now and then. I laughed at really stupid jokes, touching is thigh with my hand 'haha'. It's pathetic that these are the things I must do in order to get this car cleanlyHe told me of how he was just coming back from a cabin he inherited from his grandfather up in Canada. He said he goes up there sometimes to get away from everything. He said everyone knows not to bother him when he's there, even his family. He said the place was in the middle of absolutely nowhere, not even the police know about it. He said he planed to stay up there all month, but it was just too cold.

The whole time, Bella was crying quietly in the back, covering her ears. I told him she was freaking out still from what her boyfriend did. He didn't think twice about her, but worried about me.

"I could kill the guy if you want," he interjected at one point in my description of my "boyfriend" chasing me around with a metal pipe - something James actually did once when we got in one of our huge fights.

"Aww," I touched his shoulder, "that's so sweet, but I have another idea on how you can help me."

"Oh, yeah," he said, putting his hand on my knee. His heart was beating like the annoying human girl that was being dramatic in the back.

"That's the whole reason I wanted a ride, truly. Your just so hot!"

His breath shuddered and his eyes closed for a brief second.

"Now," I continued, "because I don't think I can wait, why don't you pull of to the side and we could have some fun."

The car took a sudden sway to the right, jerking everyone around, as he pulled onto the side of the road.

Turning around, I tapped the rocking girl's on the back. "We'll be right back."

I gave her a look that easily read 'stay'. She put her head between her knees and started to hum shakily.

Me and him got our of the SUV and because we were under a thick veil of trees, I lead him into the woods, instead of taking him there - it would be better if the teenager didn't see this. As soon as I couldn't see the road, I pushed him into the closest tree in a way that would not harm him. I playfully took the glasses off his head, and threw them in a place I could find them again. I didn't want those awesome things to get damaged during this.

"Are you ready," I asked seductively.

"Come here, baby," he groaned, putting his hands on my hips, and pulling me forward.

Because this didn't need to take an more acting from me, I went to for the kill. I bit into his dark skin, making him wail so loudly, that it echoed. Once he was drained, I picked him up quickly and dumped him into a great bush that was about a mile into the thick forest, where he would never be found. You know all those hundreds of people that go missing each month, most of them were probably killed by vampires or werewolf's - yes, like in the movies, just not so dramatized.

Before trashing him, I got his wallet, because I didn't think I could take another sip of anyone's blood and not explode. Then I got his sunglasses, and they fit me fabulously! His keys I knew were in his car, so I didn't even have to bother with those. I achingly returned to the car, bummed I had to be around Miss Whinny so more.

Once back to the car, I pulled Bella out and pushed her into the passengers side. She handled my roughness with out complaint, but anger. It was kind of a surprising thing to return to. She was so quiet and afraid when I left her in the car, but now she was just fuming.

"Do you like my new sunglasses," I asked her, checking them out in the SUV's visor mirror.

She didn't answer, but glared at me with her dark eyes.

"What is your problem," I couldn't help but ask her, curiosity burning high, when we were back on the road, in the new vehicle that was nicer than I first noticed. She didn't answer, invading me with her mood. "If you don't answer me I'll-"

"Hit me?!," she interrupted in a yell. "Kill me?! Why don't you? Why haven't you! I hate you! Just drink me like everyone else. I know I smell appetizing! C'mon kill me!"

"I can't," I roared back at her.

"Why," she screamed back, not intimidated, like she should.

"Because your worth something to me right now. I kill you, Edward feels my pain for a supposed eternity. Surprise, you actually have some type of value." I did not yell, yelling didn't seem to effect her in this state. Instead, I talked evenly, venomously.

It had the effect I wanted and hated at the same time. She pulled her knee's to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, holding it to her like she was holding her self together. I knew that position well.

"Look, shut up," I begged. "Cheer up, I've got a nice little place for us to go, okay?"

She just continued to crying.

"Ugh," I whined with her. "You are so annoying!"

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**_A/N_**

Ewww... I do not like how I wrote this chapter! It's very... I don't know. I can't take it back now(too lazy), but I promise I'll try not to do what I did here in the next one...


	5. It Matters

**_A/N:_** Sorry it took forever! This is my first year in a private school, and it is demanding so much of my time that I hardly find room to sleep. Gay, huh? Forgive the errors I know are in there!

Do I still have to say this???

_**Disclaimer:**_ S. Meyer owns the characters....

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**_It Matters_**

Silence... I missed it so much... In silence I could try and repair the parts of myself that were falling away. But, then, she was there, breathing, beating, in slumber I envied... I at first didn't recognize when she had drifted off. I saw her body relax into the large seat, her head was leaning against the window, only moving when the SUV turned a corner... I'd never seen a human so still as she was... I almost thought she was dead until she started to whisper in coherent words.

"Wait... I... too fast... gone... Edward... Edward... Pain... No... No... Please... Cold... Wait..." Those where the train of words that came from her swollen lips every now and then, always in the same order...

I always thought that people escaped from their hardships in the calm darkness of their eyelids, so it surprised me when tears where still sliding down her cheeks as she dreamed... I at first didn't understand, but after an hour or so of deep thought on the subject, I diagnosed her discomfort as a nightmare.

It had been an hour since I went through the whole long hassle of crossing the border between the U.S. to Canada... After much flattery, I got across, of course! The things people do for a pretty face astound me. Bella had slept through the whole thing, surprisingly. I expected her to wake when I had to loudly search around the glove box for papers I knew I didn't have.

I told them I was in such a hurry, I forgot everything. I lied that my elderly mother was sick and didn't have anyone to take care of her. Smart men they were, though. They noticed that they had let this same vehicle pass earlier that day. I promised them that the man who owned it was a good friend, and that he let me he borrow it when I told him about my "sick mother."

They questioned me a little, shining a flash light in the car, because the sun had been down for quite some time, it was almost pitch black inside. They asked me about my passenger and I told them that she gets very car sick during long trips, so she took some motion sickness medication that put her to sleep. They wanted to wake her, but after explaining to them that she would not be very coherent, they wearily nodded their heads 'okay'.

"You might want to turn on the heater, Miss," one Customs Officer stated. "It is nearly 30 degrees out here... Your passenger is shivering. I would hate for one of you to call a sickness."

I never really notice when cold sweeps the lands, so I definitely didn't think about Bella, even thought I should have – she human. I told myself that from then on, if I wanted to keep her alive, I was going to have to think about her needs a living thing. Doing what he suggested, I immediately turned on the heater and put it at max.

"Thank you, sir," I said sweetly. "I'm so worried, I hardly noticed the chill."

He nodded, looking at me with an expression that read 'strange'. Then he motioned with his hand to continue on my journey.

"Wait... I... too fast... gone... Edward... Edward... pain... No... No... Please... Cold... Wait...," Bella murmured like the 6th time since the 7 hours she'd been asleep. We where almost there. Well, at least, that's what his GPS was promising. I knew that he said the place was very shut off from the world, and I feared that I may not find it. When the GPS said we were here, I saw nothing but trees.

Quietly, I hopped out of the SUV, and ran through the falling snow around the area in search for the cabin. A good half mile into the thick forest, I found it. It was... Well, not what I was expecting. I was thinking it was gonna be like many I'd seen – old, small, cozy, the shape of a rectangle or square, but no!

This one was modern in it's shape, structure, and it's size was not huge but not what I was expecting... This was like a place that someone would bring their family on holidays; not to "get away from it all." But, like he said, it was far from sight, and didn't look very family-cozy inside but masculine – leather couches, a big screen T.V., a lot of grays, blacks, and browns, and bulky wooden furniture.

Once I decided that this would work, I pulled the door I knocked down to get inside, back to the frame, and followed a well hidden trail to the road. The SUV was a little way up the road. I got back in, she was still dead asleep, so I drove the car down the narrow, bumpy trail, that made her stir slightly, but not enough to fully wake up.

Once parked, I hopped out, and at a pace that I wouldn't jolt her sleeping senses, I ran her into the house, found a bedroom, and carefully, at a human speed, put her on the queen sized bed. She rolled over to her side, and into the comfort of the soft bed. I didn't know it until I began to pull away, but she had a good grip on a lock of my hair.

"Don't go," she protested, still asleep.

Sickening myself, I for a second considered giving into her request, but just as quickly, I shot the thought from my mind.

"Let go," I growled, roughly unwinding her hand from the lock of hair she had.

Her eyes shot open as she moaned in pain. She pulled away from me and to the other side of the bed, nearly falling off. She grabbed the hand I hurt and held it to her, rocking back and forth, glaring at me.

"Did I break something?," I asked her nonchalantly.

She looked down at her hand, and held it out for me to see. I smelt it before I saw it. My nails had pierced the skin on the inside of her palm, right next to her thumb, and she was bleeding quite strongly. I looked at the blood, wanting so much a taste.

I looked back to her, and her eyes were closed, her face was blank expectancy. She wants to, I told myself. I growled loudly, picked her up and put her over my shoulder, and ran to the bathroom that was just down the hall. As soon as I could, the water in the sink was running and her hand was underneath, and the smell was dulled by the constant wash of the water.

"You stupid -," I was about to say something very mean, but she cut me off in a scream.

"What's the matter with you? I was right there! I still am! I would have had an excuse! Why don't you just kill me?"

"I've already told you why," I spat. "Why do you continue to ask the same things? Your worth more to me alive than dead at the moment."

She looked at me, her breath shaky and exerted with something I wasn't understanding. There was a silence I didn't know how to cure that filled the room, so I turned awkwardly and began to leave, but she stopped me.

"He's not coming back," she whispered so softly. "He left."

"You told me that," I answered, in a sigh.

She looked at me with such earnest confusion glinting in her eyes. "Why does it mater then if I live or die?"

The question seemed to not just be pointed at me but at herself as well...

"Because I want him to sufferer, and because you are human- you are the definition of life on this planet. It matters." I answered the visible question she asked and the hidden one.

She just started at me with brown... I don't know how to explain it... It wasn't a feeling, but more like a thought that she was telling me with her eyes... I looked away in fear for what I could accept with pleasure... I mean... I still to this day don't know what I mean... It's like trying to explain the essence of the moon... Words are useless in moments such as this.

"I...," I started, not sure what to say. "Take a shower... I'll find you some clothes and a band aid, if I can."

I looked back, and her gaze was on the water that still ran over her hand. Her expression was shaded by her hair, but I could see a deep blush that rouged her already bruise-reddened check.

I rushed out of the bathroom and straight out of the door. As soon as I was out, in the fresh air, completely free from her scent and eyes, I fell to my knee's, into the heavy snow, and for a reason I didn't understand, I began to sob, loudly. I had cried many times since Jame's death, but never had the throb in my throat felt so good. It's like it was sealing something that was cracked and jagged; giving me hope that maybe one day I could heal. A part of me felt selfish that I should want to heal, but it was not stronger than the part that was giving in to this show of weakness.

"Victoria," a small voice shuddered behind me with uncertainty. The air was tainted, my heart was ripped open with something new, something young and fresh that was not painful but wistful.

"What," I shouted, jumping up.

"Are-is... Um... I'm sorry," With that she ran into the cabin.

I listened to see what she was doing. I heard the sound of fabric hitting tiled floor, and the shower began to run. I heard the wight of her body shift as she stepped in, and the sprinkling water plash onto her her hair, onto her chest, and down the rest of her very soft body. It amazed me how much it fascinated me... It scared me how could admit my fascination and not hate myself.

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A/N:

Sooooooooo... I was lazy again on this one... I really don't enjoy describing things such as the cabin, because I think everyone can make a better picture in their head than what I can described. Wouldn't you want to have your own picture than mine?? If not, and you want more detail of things, just tell me. I will happily appease you! And um... I'll try to make the updating thing a little more presistant than I have. Later. =-D ~Edit~


	6. Faust!

Well, this one for some reason took forever to write... Ugh! School, sleeping, and now writing are really starting to take a lot out on me... =-( Enjoy...

**Disclaimer**: I'm not doing this anymore! You already know! This is a FAN FICTION SITE!

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**_Faust!_**

It's not interesting really, but there was something about it that made me stay where I was. It was almost like watching a commercial – it's boring, dull, and all you can think about what you could do with the advertised product, but know you'll probably never even be able to touch it. But I could touch it... She was right there, no more than a foot away from me, and this was stressing the limit - I didn't want her to tangle into me unconsciously and make everything so much more complex than it already was.

If my hands were weak, I would lose, but they were not that night. I watched her without having any part of myself interrupted by curiosity or longing... In fact, I pulled myself away from her sleeping body, and all the way out of the room without regret or frustration.

I walked into the enormous, gray-walled room of the cabin that on the northern side of the room held a kitchen with dark blue tile, a big, stainless steal refrigerator, and many other modern appliances I couldn't quite put names to, and at the very end of the wall was the entry into the halls of the house. On the west side, a bulky, black, wooden dining table that was fit for four sat, and to it's right, on the southern side was the entry into the house that had a coat rack and shoe holder on the southern side. On the eastern side of the massive room, the den/living room was decorated with brown leather couch and love seat and a chair that surrounded a big screen T.V. that had a million and one movies underneath it. Around the cabin was farms abstract paintings and a few sculptures.

I must have killed a rich kid, I thought to myself with pride, plopping down on the couch. I leaned my head back on the not very comfortable leather and thought about how I should do this: Keep her a few months to see if Edward tries to rescue her? What if he doesn't... Kill her then I guess. But, crap, I told her I'd let her go home... Shit. Ugh. Stop this, Victoria. The first plan, your first want was to kill her, and you're going to go through with... no matter how much it could possibly hurt.

After debating with myself for some hours. I scanned through the movies for one I might know(I hadn't, believe it or not, seen a movie in over 60 years. Human life was just boring to watch once Hollywood got serious.) I found a lot of love, action, and horror movies, but luckily, I found one I knew: _Faust!_ It was funny to me to see it on a little shiny CD. Technology still amazed me. When I was last human, the light bulb had just been created.

While watching the old horror film, I thought about calling Laurent, and went in search of a phone, but, it wasn't surprising when didn't find one. I'm surprised that this secluded place even had electricity and running water. Well, at least I didn't have to rip a phone out of a wall to keep her from making any phone calls. Since I couldn't call my dear friend, I went back to watching the movie. Silent films are where the true art of directing comes into play, but of course the book was better. Words are better read, than said.

_"The glorious feelings, those that most we prized,  
That made indeed our very life of life,  
In the world's turmoil and ignoble strife  
Are sear'd and paralyzed."_

Time passed, the birds begun their songs as Bella rose.

I first heard the shift in her breathing, and then the scratch of cloth rubbing together. She laid there many minutes, and all I could her was the small motions, smaller than breathing.

"Bella," I called to her.

She was still for a moment, but then complied. She was wearing a white shirt that fit her like a short dress that I pulled from a closet and gave to her the previous night after her shower, and had the boots on that I ran back into her house to get before we left Forks. Around her, she had the thick, black blanket that was on the bed wrapped around her shoulders. She stumbled out of the room, down the hall, and into the great room, and found me starting at her intently as she walked, her eyes on her feet, to me.

"Sit," I said when she stopped in front of me for further instruction.

She sat down on the leather chair, and curled into it, wrapping the blanket tighter around her. For a second, I was confused as her covered form was shaking... No, shivering.

"Oh, yeah, crap," I moaned, walking quickly, really at my natural speed by nature to the thermostat I had noticed was on the wall when looking for the phone. It read 29°_F__. I turned the _heater on and up it all the way up to 90. Then went to the linen closet and grabbed another thick blanket.

"Sorry," I grumbled, draping the blanket around her.

She flinched, but then froze as I started to tuck it around her. Much to my annoyance and curiosity, she blushed the whole time. She tried to talk, but shuddered with because of the cold. "I-i-it's o-o-

"Yeah, I get the point," interrupted her. "I'm not used to humans. I forget..."

I trailed off as her stomach let out a loud drowning sound.

"Forgot that too," I sighed as I got up and walked at my natural pace to the kitchen. I hadn't touched human food since I was human... Thankfully, there was an appropriate, easy can of soup in the cupboard. After waiting an impatient 5 minutes for it to heat up, I put it on the table. Then went to Bella, picked her up, put her at the table gently, sat down on the other side of the square table, and just watched her.

She looked at me, her breath shudder, surprised by the sudden movement, I supposed.

"Is that okay?," I asked her, not taking my eyes off of her.

She looked at the steaming blue bowl of liquid longingly and then back at me with a stunningly large amount of appreciation. "Yes," she choked. "It's fine. Thank you very much."

"Yeah, you should, um, tell me when you need... food or something, you know?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Then, could I get a spoon," she asked quietly.

"That would be convenient, huh?," I laughed, handing her one.

She just smiled and blushed.

I watched, a little disgusted as she stirred the soup, blew on it, and brought it to her mouth. I watched as her eyebrows drew together while she swallowed the seemly not appetizing liquid. She looked at me too, but not as intensely as I did her.

"It does taste good," she said almost conversationally.

"Sure...," I answered doubtfully. "You know, it's hard to believe I was human once. All human things seem unimportant or gross to me."

She looked unsure, but still spoke. "I thought you said being human mattered?"

"It does... if you're human. But if not... Well, you're life is so fragile and kinda indifferent compared to your population. You all can't be great. There's like this line that holds you down more than gravity, your breakable bones, your weak muscles, and even your need for oxygen... You're categorized by ability and stance... Your life is worthless in the end. Yes, it could be mourned, but it will be forgotten... The preciousness of humanity was built to die; to show how gentle, how powerful, how beautiful life is... And how evil life can be to give such beauty and take it away.

"Your a part of a painful system with the rest of everything living. I, vampires, are not in that line of nature. We work for nature – taking life to sustain our own – a completely different circle, even though that's what humans do as well. What we get out of that deal is heightened long life that can enjoy all essences. With the strength Laurent gave me, I get to value the fruits of life, unlike the tainted senses of humanity... But, because you are small, innocent, weak, almost constantly broken in some way, you have a beauty I will never achieve... That is where your life matters. I get to view and destroy that beauty."

Through the whole long speech, I don't think she blinked. She just stared at me emotionless, but when it was apparent I was finished, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes...

"Wow," she said accidentally out loud, and then blushed.

"Yeah, I learned a lot with James' help and time, of course." Thinking about how James thought me most of my understandings, my chest ached, and I closed my eyes.

"So..." she paused, testing the water. I opened my eyes and looked at her inquiringly, gesturing her to continue. "How old are you?"

It was a reasonable question, and I answered mundanely. "Let's see... About 152, I think. I was born 1856... Laurent decided to change me 1880 and it's 2008 now.(n/a That's right! I have it placed in winter of 2008.)... Yeah. I'm bad a math, but I think I'm only about 152. Young compared to the others."

She made an effort not to look surprised, but her face was becoming very readable.

"Laurent changed you? Why?" It came out that sounded like a squeak, but I was happy she was becoming more comfortable talking to me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I asked and he told me. 'I was the strongest of my generation, and he didn't want that to wastes away in the Victorian age. He said he saw what I could be and took a chance. He also threw in that he needed a companion, but I think there so much he was leaving off... I think I know what he never said; I was going to presume it, but... I met James..."

She was quite as the pain flipped back into my chest, but it cooled when she spoke again. "You loved him."

"Love," I corrected. "You love, Edward?"

She bit her lip and she just stared into my eyes. Slowly, her face crumpled. "Yes," she cried, throwing her head in her hands.

These tears didn't bother me like the others she had shed. It was more like I knew these tears, and I did... They were tears of love lost. I felt pity for myself as well as her while she cried herself out. When she calmed, I handed her a tissue from the box of tissues I found while looking for clothes. She cleaned her face and looked at me again.

"Finish that," I told her in a tone that I didn't mean to use. "I mean..." I stumbled, trying to correct myself, but not really wanting to. "Are you done?"

She looked at me with one of those thankful glances and shook her head. She finished the bowl quickly, because it was cooler. I could tell she was still hungry like a mother to a child, and made her two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that she had suggest when I asked what she wanted. She gobbled those up, and after, I brought her a can of soda that was in the fridge.

"Are you still hungry?," I asked, aware that I actually cared.

"No thank you," she answered politely, getting up.

"Wait," I commanded.

Because I knew she would probably trip of over the blankets she was entwined in, I picked her up, and laied her on the couch.

When I asked her if she was comfortable or if I hurt her, she was gasping, but said, "No... I'm fine; just a little surprised."

I tried not to think too much on the full meaning in her voice and sat down on the love seat. Because I was frustrated with myself that I was treating her so kindly, I didn't ask if she wanted to watch what I was watching(which was nothing, but old black and white movies), but just turned it on.

I got bored almost immediately, that part inside of me that I hated so much and had given in greatly to the past hour wanted nothing more than to talk to the girl on my left... Of course, I did. I was useless against this side of myself... This that was more human than all the rest.

"Bella," I said almost involuntarily.

She picked her head up to look at me. "Yes," she asked fearfully.

"You don't have to be so... fearful of me," I said completely mortified that I was saying this and being honest about it too. "I mean, I might end up killing you someday, but you don't have to worry about that unless Edward shows up... Or doesn't... I haven't decided. Anyways, just relax and um... Enjoy these months of life like they're your last... But they might not be, so don't get excited, okay?"

What did I just say, I thought to myself. I didn't even make that much sense to myself.

"Forget what I just said," I sighed, but then amended again. "No! Don't I meant what I said. If you even understand what I mean?"

She was looking at me like I was strange, but nodded. "I understand. And.. Thank you?"

"You're welcome... Maybe you and I could be friends in an odd kind of sadistic way. Maybe it could be like pet and owner. Taking care of you does feel much like taking care of a new born puppy."

She smiled and laughed lightly. "Okay... That sounds, um, possible..."

I smiled back and without thinking and totally making me want to run into something I couldn't shatter, I lightly moved some hair that had fallen in her face, behind her ear.

Her face turned bright red, and I just froze. I was stunned at what I had just done.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, ripping my hand away from her.

She shook her head and dropped down on to the couch, covering her face with her blankets, hiding.

I just got up and went into the bathroom, and blindly took a shower. I couldn't get the feeling I got in that second out of my head. It was a painful feeling as well as an enlightened one... I couldn't fathom it all... James was always the one who unraveled these things for me... I hadn't had to deal with myself for more than a century... Now I was all on my own and lost with a human girl working her way into my heart.

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A\N: Does anyone really want me to continue with this?? It's not working out all that well, and I'm worse than I thought at lovey things of this nature...


	7. Why You Care

_**N/A:**_ _Only continued because of the kind people who encouraged me to... Hope I didn't let you down with this chapter. Sorry it took so long! I've been re-reading Rebel Angels obsessively. Libba Bray is the coolest author that I know of. Steph ain't got nothing on her Awesome. You can hate me for that, I don't care...  
_

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**_Why You Care_**

Oh, the humiliation, I thought as when we entered the store. A vampire shopping for food would sound ridiculous even to a human.\

"Do you like pasta," I asked her.

"Uh, yeah," she sighed, probably annoyed that asked what she liked every new section of the store we moved to. "I know how to make spaghetti, but I'll need sauce," she answered as she walked down the isle to get it.

I had gotten much better a recognizing the needs of the living: Breakfast in the morning, lunch at 12, a snack at 5, dinner at 9, shower at 11, sleep at 12. I think I had her running at a pretty good schedule. Keeping her alive wasn't as hard as I thought it would be

"_Easier than babysitting my little sister," I told her one night while she ate. _

"_You have a sister," she asked, intrigued as always about my past. _

"_Had," I corrected her. "Her name was Lillian. She was prettiest little girl I had ever seen, but something happen - she got sick or something, I don't remember much about my life with a pulse."_

"_Do you have any siblings," I asked her, starting a conversation that lasted for hours_.

Bella really brought out the talker in me. The only person I had talked this much to was Laurent. James and I spoke with silent words that trembled through lips in our kisses. I never really had to share my humanity with him. We only wanted to know about the now, not the dead.

"I don't know why we had to do this," I complained as we started down the road from the grocery store. "It would have been free if I just broke in. Like I did to get the brand new clothes we were wearing."

"It was free either way, because you didn't actually work for the money used to buy this," she snapped, making me conger up patience.

"You didn't say anything about the clothes I jacked." I said lowly.

She didn't mope about those because it was better than walking around in big shirts. I could have cared less. I had been wearing the same pair of clothes for months, but she was human and enjoyed things like panties and bras...

"_You don't really need this," I said swinging the bag of undergarments above her head, so she could not reach them. "Your breast are fine without being tapped down."_

_Blushing furiously, she jumped up as high as she could and snatched the bag, really just ripped it open. _

I started to noticed things like that - the distinctions that make humans different from each other. It took a week to notice how small she was – little waist, wrists, thighs, breast, and hands. She was also pretty short compared to me... I'm a good five inches taller than her. One of the things I took most note of was the way she looked at me... Her eyes were always curious and waiting. In the night, while she would sleep, I would just lay on the bed next to her, not really watching her, but pondering over what her daytime gazes meant.

The second week had come around, no sign of Edward, or even that there was a girl from Washington missing, which was odd considering her father was an officer.

"He's not coming," she promised me while watching the sun fall behind the tall pine trees.

"I think he will..." It had been two weeks. I know he must have heard some news of her disappearance from someone. "He's probably on his way as we speak, with the super crew behind him." His family would no doubt come looking for Bella as well. "They all love you, Bella."

She turned to me, and with a pleading looking her eyes whispered, "He doesn't care. He doesn't want me. He told me."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, you are so young... He wants you. He loves you. I mean, I don't really know all that much about your relationship, but what I saw held as much passion as mine and James. From what you've told me about his and his families exodus, it sounds like he's trying to be noble and let you live life.

Honestly it sounds cruel. To love something so frail; to have the ability to make a seraph of power out of the beautiful but fading flower, but instead, just lets it waste away. But I guess I can see his reasoning: I don't think you have the stomach to be a vampire." I teased.

She smiled, but didn't try to answer. We didn't speak anymore that night, just fell into companionable silence.

I really never understood it! She was not beautiful... just plain, just a girl. I was still in deep mourning for James. But above all, she was not suppose to be what she was to me – precious. Her place in my mind shifted to the opposite side of the board at an credible rate – a month and a half.

Never have I enjoyed displacement so much before... Everything was wrong. Everything had changed. I lost sight of the "plan". My determination diminished as my eyes caught the very jaded and insignificant color of brown. The only thing that haunted me now was guilt and the idea of what I used to be. I didn't even fully remember what that was...

I do remember that I never dreamed, but repetitively found myself staring at her and seeing what wasn't there. I do remember that I had no sympathy for any of the weak, the fragile, the human, but now, sympathy(sometimes nervousness) was all I felt for her slow reactions, backwards feet, defective equilibrium, save for the immense desire and the complexity of emotions I felt for her. There's a lot more of myself that I remember, but it does not level out the parts I don't remember; They seem to the parts that James gave me.

Did she notice something different in me?

She became more fearful of me it seemed: When I'd lean in closer to her, pulled by an invisible force, she'd stop breathing and just stare at me, her heart racing faster and faster with each second. No matter what it was she was doing, when I got in a certain range of her, she'd stop, freeze up, take a shuddery breath in and not exhale it. I'd watch with curiosity the first few times, trying to figure out why this bothered her, we were still a good foot away from the possibility of our skin touching(something that only really had happened about dozen times in the past month and a half).

It hurt when she'd react that way. It made me feel disappointed, unwanted, monstrous, evil. One thing I hadn't lost in the shot time was my innate reactions; when someone hurts me, I get angry.

After about the 3rd time she'd do that, I yelled for the uncontrollable act. Every time she cowered away, covering her ears, sometimes small tears of fear would splash on her light red, still bruised(but healing) cheeks a I screamed at her, and occasionally destroyed something in the cabin – a sculpture, mirror, lamp, or something that was not used often.

Then, suddenly, one day, she seized up when I was trying to find resolve in her sent, already frustrated with everything, I snapped, again, and punched through the wall that she was leaning on, a few inches away from her face. She didn't do much other than flinch and take a sharp breath. There were no tears, no running away, no fear for her life in her eyes but almost understanding.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down. "I don't mean to... You just..."

She didn't finish her sentence, so I did for her. "Scare you!"

She bit her lip and shook her head. "No... I mean yes, of course you do, but there more than that. It just startles me that's all."

I wasn't really understanding what she was trying say. "'Startles you'? What do you mean." I asked her in one breath, anxious to understand.

She didn't answer but blushed.

"Is it possible for you to stay one color?," I asked her, not able to retain myself.

She blushed more, but grinned. "Is it possibly for you to not sparkle?"

I had to laugh at the clever come back. "Whatever..." I rolled my eyes. "Please just try to explain this to me."

She turned her eyes from her feet to my face and asked in a passionate voice,"Can you explain to me why you care?"

I held her brave gaze for such a long time, wishing she would falter under mine, leaving me free from giving the product of that equation, but it was apparent she wanted an answer.

"Because," I began, not having a clue how to answer so I lied. "Because... It annoys me."

"Oh," she said kind of smugly.

"Now tell me what I'm missing in your reason?" I begged.

She turned red again. "It's the... the..."

"Just say it, Bella," I yelled.

"It's the way you look at me," she blurted out. "You look at me as if you want me, and that is the fear I feel. I do not know when you are going to kill me, Victoria, so the thought is always on my mind."

It made sense, but there was more - I could tell. "That's not all." It wasn't a question.

She looked back to her feet. "You make me nervous... Your closeness make me feel endangered, but not by death..."

My heart did back flips with this confession. It sounded like I was making her feel something she was too young to understand... An animal lust started to form rocks my reasoning skills, making everything speed up and jump to a strange, very sudden mood.

Blinded by desire I had felt for so long, and just then realized, I leaned in on her again, grinning. "Nervous, huh?"

Her breathing stopped immediately, but she nodded frantically.

"Why is that?," I whispered, getting closer to her than ever before; we were only inches apart - I could feel her warm skin radiate waves of heat to my own.

She didn't answer, just closed her eyes.

My intentions must have been clear as day to her, even if she was young. I just held that position between us until, she started to breath. She let out a whooshing breath that mingled with my own. Her bottom lip quivered lightly as she tried to breath.

She opened her eyes and looked into mine. I saw myself in the brown of her – fierce, hungry, wanting. I was letting something in me take hold. I was scaring hell out of myself, but I refused to turn it off now.

"This is you're last chance. Why?," I said lowly, putting my hands on either side of her face, and slowly leaned down, cutting off the little space that was left between us. My face reached the top of her hair and my lips gently caressed her forehead.

Her heart sounded as if it was about to burst, but it didn't - she did. "Because I don't like it!," she nearly shouted, stunning me in my place.

My chest felt like it had just been rammed into something stronger than me at the promise in her voice. I had let myself fall for something too innocent, and stupidly believed I wasn't going to hit the ground... Why am I disappointed?, I asked myself.

"I apologize," I groaned into her hair, trying not to let the sob break through my lips.

In a pace she would not even be able to see, I ran from the cabin, into the trees, and in the direction of the nearest city. That night I killed a girl with brown eyes the same shade as Bella's. She was pale, short, thin skinned, petite, and plain... I drank from her without the slightest thought or desire.

"Laurent," I whispered brokenly into the cell phone I found in the SUV, talking to no one but his cell phones answer machine. "I need you... It's much more difficult than... I can't explain. I really need your guidance right now. Please call me."

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**_N/A:_**

Yeah... I did it... I don't really like it, but I did it - skipped around until I was nice and far into the future that's really the past! I supose now I should thank you for reading! =-D


	8. The Beauty Remains

**A/N:**

It's shorter than usual and very lovely like-loveless, but I do like the self-realization. Enjoy!

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**_The Beauty Remains_**

What is the distance, the difference between pain and love? I have more than 100 years of experience, and I still have no answer. They always, even with James, seemed to hold the same company... It was truer then than any other time I was conscious of.

I didn't return to the cabin until I was sure she had fallen asleep. Her hair was spread crazily across her face, and her body was twisted in an odd position on the hard leather of the couch, a thin blanket her only armor against the growing cold of the night. For all her seemly discomfort, her face was calm and relaxed, safe in the grasp of dreams, somewhere father than mars to my capability of reach. Never would I float on purple seas, dance in fields of singing flowers, or be kisses by the warm lips of a price... or a princess.

"How did this happen," I asked out loud softly, moving her hair out of her sweet face. Bella's face scrunched the slightest, but immediately smoothed, deeper into the mystery of her nighttime world.

"Your human and I'm not..." I began, speaking what I needed to say. " How... How can I want someone other than James? It's not beauty I am drunk with, because beauty is not your form. In my eyes you're just small, attractively delicate and warm. It's a unique beauty of it's own... It is that innocence that will not release it's hold. I see why Edward loves you. Who wouldn't want to protect an angel of your surety, your purity. If only he could see the beauty of your brokenness, your agony."

"_The pain passes, but the beauty remains..." _A quote from my favorite artist, Pierre _Auguste Renoir_ ran meaningfully through my mind as I stepped away from Bella, filling all the silent questions with understanding – James is gone, but I am here; birds are here; the sun is here; pain is here; love is here. The only thing I had lost was James, a grave part of myself that I can never recover, but everything else still exists. The possibility for health is obtainable, but first, I must swallow hope.

Realizing the world that still held firmly around me, I walk outside. I took a deep breath, feeling the subtle coolness caress my lungs. No matter what happens, I will always have this – air. I walked off of the porch, and onto the snow. How many times had I seen this precipitation in this form? I have embraced it with human eyes, as well as vampire, but never have I seen it's value. The bright moonlight flickered off it's surface, lightly illuminating the darkness of the world, making even the night and all dangerous vastness seem a gentle thing.

Dazed by the glory of the Earth, I floated into the evergreens. Stable, old, and weary they stood still in the destitute of breezes, without a single complaint. Tree's, like humans, like vampires are always in the motion of "growth" from the day they were born to the day they die... We are all the same, as we are different. The fact can not be denied, but only argued. I have argued my share, and now it is time for me to accept.

I watched the night from the shelter of nothing but sky until the sun fought back the moon, sending to bed the nocturnal, while rising the diurnal. I listened as the chirp of the crickets were replaced by the song of the birds. I couldn't believe all I had missed. The wonder of life is enthralling. I was so bewitched by the glorious beauty of death, that I was blinded from the grand majesty of life. Death's absolution is such grace, but Life is just as charming with it's sweet uncertainty. Truly it is all the same, as it is different – in wrath, in ugly, in light, and in darkness.

I heard the footsteps, the shuddering breath, but I was not prepared for the warm arms that wrapped around my waist. I could have screamed with surprise, but just melted into the moment. It was so unreal that I didn't speak, afraid my strong daydreaming may dissipate, but it didn't, she didn't.

Finally, the capably one for words spoke.

"Victoria," she whispered, I could feel her breath on my neck as she pushed onto her toes to say this into my left ear. "I am sorry for what I said, for lying. I was frightened."

"Why," I asked her, breathless from everything.

"I love Edward. I care for you, but I love and will always love Edward."

I knew this, and it didn't hurt at all, but I still let silence hang in the air for a bit longer than I should – she unlocked her arms around me, and began to walk away.

She only had enough time to take one step before I had her in a tight embrace. It was so different to do this. I've wanted to hold her for weeks now, but never allowed myself to even attempt to. So this was like coming up for air after the dive – release, gratitude, you think you'll never miss regard it's feeling, the comfort and security.

"Upon all I know, I admit that I don't know anything," I whisper to her. "But if I am blind, I will go with what feels right. I love James like I will never love another, just as you do Edward, and that's okay. If you take me for however a short a time, I will be happy."

There was nothing but the sound of her heartbeat for the longest as she thought. I just savored everything, needing every second. I felt like I found something I thought lost forever. The lonely feeling I was cradling so willingly was lifted out of my tired arms, I was being mended with each breath.

"Yes," she said, and kissed my shoulder repeatedly so lightly, like it was something sacred, like it was my lips.

I brought my face from the top of her head and began to leave kisses about her face – her ear, the top of her jaw, her cheek, her nose, and then finally, slowly, I kissed her trebling lips. So soft, they were - so young, so fresh, so innocent, so warm. Pain was gone, death didn't exist, there was a such thing as forever, and I had hope.

Just like that, I was healed, new again, ready.

"Oh, Victoria," a strong, gentle, confused, and hurt voice shuddered from deep inside the woods.

She didn't hear it and she wasn't able to see him, but she felt the change in the motion of our kiss. Her face, bright pink from exertion pulled away from my lips. Shyly and nervously she looked into my eyes. I smiled at her, and she beamed and giggled.

"Why don't you go inside?" I asked her. "It's pretty cold out here."

She nodded, and I let my hold on her go. She reluctantly let go of my waist, but grasped my hand and tried to take me forward with her. She looked back at me confused when I didn't follow with her weak pull.

"I'm gonna stay out here for awhile." I answered her unspoken question. "I promise, I'll be in shortly. Go take a shower – your hair looks like Medusa's."

She laughed as I tugged on the knots. Ah, that innocence, I thought, sighing as she walked into the house. Once the water started to run, I turned to find him. As beautiful as always, Laurent stood inches away from me, his face completely emotionless.

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**_A/N _**

People, if you see something that can happen next, please tell me! I love having awesome minds help me with my writing.


	9. Youth

**_Youth_**

"Laurent" I stepped forward to embrace him, but he stepped backwards and didn't stop until he was a five feet away from me.

"Hello," he said in a hauntingly jaded voice, the dead have more emotion.

The space between us filled with desperate silence, begging to be shattered. He wasn't going to say anything, and I couldn't take much more.

"You're here." It came out as an accusation instead of mystified as I was, as I interned it to be. "I mean..."

A low growl reverberated from his chest, cutting me off. "You called me!," he snapped.

"Yes." was all I could say. He looked as if he wants to kill me, as if I've done something horrible he can never forgive.

Empty sound surrounded us.

"How did you find me," I manged to will out.

He took a deep breath, like he does to calm himself. "I made you."

"You should have called." Again it came out like it should not have - crude.

"You sounded sad and frightened, so I came immediately, fearing you may have need to be rescued or something of the nature. I can see that is more truer than I originally thought." He hissed the whole thing out, making each word linger.

"Yes," I muttered, and then amended. "No. I mean, yes, I did, but now everything okay."

"'Okay'," he gasped. "How can anything be okay. You were kissing... Edward's mate," he spit it out with disgust.

"Yes," I said again.

"She's human," he said in a surprisingly gentle voice, like trying to explain something to a child.

"Yes, I know." was my answer.

He thought about this deeply, looking towards the house every now and then. Thankfully, Bella was still in the shower.

"She is also female," he said softly, hesitantly, uncomfortably, like speaking of some sin against society.

"Yes, just as I am," I said proudly.

Honest confusion crept into his burgundy eyes. "She's not even beautiful."

"She is, but in a different way," I answered.

And at my answered, he seemed to understand everything.

"She's your remedy..." Laurent sighed, walking forward, and taking me in his arms like I was the last thing on this Earth.

I was shocked. He seemed to have more clarity of the situation than I in that moment. I didn't know what else I could do other than hug him back. He kissed me cheeks and smoothed my hair so sweetly, I thought I would melt into his body, but then the shower turned off.

"I would like to meet her," Laurent asked me with a pleading expression. "I promise not to break her."

I stared into his eyes for a moment, checking the full weight of his words. "Okay," I said, taking his hand and leading him in.

We walked in and there was a Bella only clothed in a towel. Immediately, she blushed, and tried to wrap the it tighter around her.

"I left my clothes in here and I...." she trailed off as she saw Laurent by my side. It seemed the first thing she saw was his hand around mine before his actually face.

"Hello, Bella. It is nice," he paused, looking her up and down "to see you again." Laurent laughed, causing me to hit his him, reflectively, protectively.

Letting go of Laurent's hand, I approached my cherry headed girl, who was too embarrassed to move, I led her to the room. Making me moan, she flinched when I touched her, but still fell instep.

Once in the room, she jumped onto the bed and hid her face in the pillows. I started to laugh, but was silenced when she turned and glared at me.

"I'm sorry," I said instinctively.

"Why is he here," she asked, intensely aware again that she was only in a towel and it was beginning to ride up her leg, so she pulled it down with a furry. I tried not to stare but it was really inevitable at this moment.

"Victoria," she yelled, when I didn't answer, my eyes fondling her body.

"Laurent is my best friend," I said quickly, pulling my gaze to her wide brown eyes. "I left him a messaged last night for advise, and he thought I was hurt and needed "rescuing". I promise I didn't know he was going to come here."

She looked at me skeptically, but then nodded.

"Well, he wanted to meet you on better terms, but it seems terms can't get much more better." I laughed, tugging playfully on her toe.

She went red again. "Please go get my clothes, Victoria."

I laughed, and turned to get them. When I opened the door, Laurent was standing there, clothes in hand, chuckling.

"Here we go," I announced to her, closing the door on a smirking Laurent. "Put them on now."

I put the clothes on the bed; she leaned up and held them to her, pulse accelerating, waiting for me to leave. I held my ground under her begging gaze.

"Victoria," she pleaded softly.

I shook my head, and sat down on the couch that was across the bed. "Nope. You are not getting out of this one."

Her mouth opened in realizing my expectations. I don't think I've ever heard her heart run so fast.

I leaped to her side, and took her face in my hands. "Bella, please, calm down. We're both female, and I'm just curious."

She suddenly stood up from the sitting position she had on the bed, letting the towel fall off her with a soft fabric sound.

I didn't make any sound at the action, although I wanted so much to sigh. Her body, much like her mentality was so innocent. I almost felt bad for advising her to let this privacy of herself go, but thought it over quickly: her untainted, virginal-seeming youth is not something that should be hidden, but taken in as absolute art, like the purity that so many artist try to put on a canvas.

She turned slowly and fearfully to look at me, shame was embodied in between her eyebrows. I chuckled at her gleefully, and stood up, taking her hands and putting them on my shoulder, placing mine on her small waist. I just swayed her back and forth, twirling her a few times to get a full view and appreciation of her form.

She giggled as she stumbled over her feet in the last twirl, letting me catch her in a snug embrace.

"Come on," I whispered in here ear. "Let's get you dressed."

I reached down before she could and picked the bra she insist on wearing, and wrapped it around her. Then I found her tight black sweater, and with her help, pulled it over her head. Then, I helped her slip on the delicate, yellow panties. And last, the floor length, white skirt.

Once she was dressed, I pulled her back into my arms, so happy for the feeling, the trust I can already felt I earned from her.

"See that wasn't so hard, now, was it?," I asked her.

"No, but you must stop pushing me around. Give me options." She asked, completely unafraid.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... But, um, not when it comes to taking your clothes off, okay?"

She looked up at me with a wide smile. "Okay," she said shyly, but also uncertainly.

I kissed her hair and took her hand, leading her out of the room.

Laurent was in the kitchen, holding a green apple in his hands, studying it almost suspiciously. When we walked in he smiled brightly, beautifully.

"Hello, Bella," he said the second time that night, but this time looked at her respectfully, gently took her hand, and kissed it like the gentlemen from my age.

She blushed, of course, and said, "Hey."

"I'm sorry our first introduction was so desperate and indelicate, and forgive my previous behavior – I'm a bit of a joker, and you were a wild color."

"Laurent, stop it," I laugh.

He chuckled. "I have no use for this," he said, gazing at the apple. "Would you like it?"

Bella nodded, and took the apple. We walked over to the leather couch and sat.

"Now," he said in the way he does, "tell me how this came between you."

I looked to Bella, not quite sure how to answer... It seemed that she didn't either.

"Come along now," Laurent persisted, knowing me.

It irritated me that Laurent would do this.

"Is it because of James death, Victoria?," Laurent asked, his face fallen from the angelic charm he was previously using, and into contempt. Bella, stiffened, as well as I.

"Laurent," I warned in a stern voice.

"Edward left you, didn't he, Bella? That's why Victoria isn't dead yet. That's why your okay with the situation, right?"

"Laurent," I growled. "Stop it!" Bella went ridge next to me, and I wrapped my arm around.

"What, Victoria?," Laurent asked innocently. "I'm just curious as of how you find this explainable. What has made you come to this decision? Your going to hurt yourself, Victoria." The boldness of him was disgusting. He knew people, how they reasoned, and was really only speaking the truth that we, Bella and I have been trying to avoid.

"Laurent," I said lowly, probably gripping Bella too tight. "This is none of your business."

He looked at me in such a cold way, I cowered into Bella the slightest.

"I made you, Victoria," he shouted standing up. "You are mine! That it's self makes it my business! Forgive me for caring about the future of the woman I love and have loved since the day I saw her. The woman I stood by the whole life I gave her while she always loved another... Wanted another... Saw another!! She's just temporary with you, Victoria, and when she leaves, you'll be hurt, again, until you find another..."

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**_A/N_** Sorry it took so long! I wrote it Sunday, but FF was being gay, not letting me long in for like 3/4 days. I haven't really gotten to edit it, but I think this will do for now.


	10. Chance By Choice

**_Warning:_** I just finished Rebel Angels last week, and am currently reading The Vampire Armand... I had to get this style out of me. Please forgive me!

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**_England: September 15, 1880_**

In the warm rooms of the grand house, I venture out in search for the taste I craved. It was at these large balls and parties, I found the freshest of blood – the kind that makes me want to scream with ecstasy as soon as it hits my tongue. It is the easiest, most moral way I kill. If my prey chooses to be wooed and follow me into the dark of an empty room, than that is her(never do I drink the blood of men) decision, for decisions have consequences – a lesson I give them before their end. Do you see? I could simply kill the first one I am drawn to, instead of let their logic and trust be tested. But I am a demon of mercy, a choice of eclipsed meaning is what I give them: Chance by choice.

The chatter, the warmth, the gaze, the smell – meats, soups, perfumes, blood. I could dance in it's aroma. I do so very much love being surrounded by such rich smells and sounds, in the company of my hunger and beauty. They wear the thick, suffocating, colorful dresses of the fashion, and they are brides of complete frailty, just waiting to be broken by the right hands. They clutch so carefully to the gentle grips and steps that their dance partners walk them, always keeping a sway that can so easily be thrown off balance, off beat. Pathetic creature they are: humans, but most of all, Victorian women. They walk their existence in short breaths from their self-asphyxiating corsets, with men as their only means of survival. Poor weak things with such sweet essences...

The ball is of the wealthy family: Writes. I do not think I have ever seen such a large lot of people file out of their fine carriages to come to such an event, nor have I seen such graceful young women. Oh, the smells! How should I ever chose between jasmines and carnations? All so alike their blood, but each powerfully active in my desire, any of these princesses would be adequate. But I must chose soon, I am feeling the effects of all this youth and my late arrival in my throat – the burning.

The heat is becoming quite unconformable, so I shall have to follow my nature. There is a girl that looks more like a doll than a woman who stood in the shadow, at the very end of the room, away from all. Her sent was calling to me the strongest. I twisted my way through the crowed that was so wrapped in pleasantries or gossip. The girl saw me coming as I made my way. She was already entranced by my grave grace when I made the full distance to her.

"Hello," I say in a voice that would invade her, taking her hand to kiss. "I am Laurent."

"Hello," she says in squeak. "I am -

"Lucinda," a voice cut her off from behind, I fought a growl that wanted desperately to escape. "I have been looking all over for you, dear." The voice is female, full of authority, and sounded quite irritated. Her mother I suppose.

Then the wonderful smell of citrus surrounded me as the woman came into view. Red... There is so much red. In a dark burgundy dress that matches the same fire that looked her hair, the fierce being's gazed on me with her deep blue hazel-ed eyes as if I were fermion.

"Good evening, sir," she says lividly.

"Good evening, madame," I said, taking her hand, but she ripped it from my grasp just as I leaned down.

"You are French, I see?" she hissed.

"Correct." I smile charmingly, trying to invoke some kindness from her eyes.

"Ce n'est pas juste pour les gentilshommes de parler à une femme aussi jeune que mon cousin sans surveillance dans la bonne société."

It was perfect French and even accented properly. Although, her words were not inviting: _It is not right for gentlemen to speak to as young a woman as my cousin unattended in good society. _

"Oui, madame. Pardonnez-moi(Yes, ma'am. Forgive me.)," I say, unable to hide my surprised grin.

"Your apology is accepted," she said, not looking at me, but her cousin. "Grandfather is searching for you as I was. He should be in my rooms sleeping, no doubt. Go aware him of your safety, please."

The fairy of a girl did just as she was told, and with one glimpse my way, she stood off.

"Now," she began, "What brings you here, sir?"

Blood. I wish I could answer her truthfully. I really just wish I could answer someone truthfully. "I am visiting family," I lie.

"Oh?" Her voice was a challenge. "French family in England? Are they here? What is their name?"

I ignore her question. "This beautiful mansion is of your family?"

Her face did not look the slightest bit insulted, as a lady might gasp at my rudeness. Instead, her smile was amused, enchanting me.

"It is," she says in a laugh. "Victoria Writes," she extended her hand just for my reach, and even allowed me to my instinct: a small kiss just above her gloved knuckles. The smell is intoxicating me as my throat's flames grow to a more painful height. She gasped at the touch of my lips. "So cold..."

"My name is Laurent," I whisper my lips still on her glove.

She removed her hand from mine, and sighed, looking at me in a way a blue eyed trapped animal might plead for freedom, an animal who in it's gender is not allowed to speak it's wishes in fear that is unappropriated, an animal: a wild lioness caged in a corset for the circus to show her beauty and dismiss her spirit. All this she said to me with her glance. It could not be more thorough if she'd spoke with her mouth: Help me! I'm dieing!

"It was a pleasure, monsieur, but I must attend to the guest." She nodded her head in farewell, but did not leave. "You have red eyes," she incoherently burst.

I let my voice come in a tone of heavy seriousness. "Yes, like the devil, like your hair, your dress."

She released a smile angelic and defiant. "Just like blood... and like my dress, like my hair, like your eyes, and like the devil... I believe there is a connection to it all."

"Perhaps," was all my mind mustered could say. I don't quite understand the thought she is trying to convey.

"Would you like to know a secret, sir?" She gathered close to me. "I dream of red."

"You are so very unhappy, Mademoiselle Writes. To dream a color so impure is not the image imagined from a woman of your society."

By this she is taken aback, but then she steadies herself, confident in her reply. "Unhappiness is the price for luxury, sir. We all dream of red in some form."

"Not all," I whisper, unable to hold my sudden muse in her words.

"Then you are not human." The voice was comedy, not the slightest bit of seriousness.

"I'm not," I say in the same fun as her, but she knows how to swallow the truth of words and logic.

"I know, but you know more, I think. How old are you?"

The brightness of her mind is extraordinary. "More than two centuries has passed since my birth into the world," I say truthfully.

Her soft laughter was relaxed, odd considering the strangeness we speak of. "Yes, I believe that, even though you are beautiful with fresh maturity."

"You are beautiful and strong and young and my favorite color." I whispered that to her, leaning in that much closer.

"And stuck – married," she says so quietly, looking at a tall, bearded man, who too was looking directly at her with an expression that seems evil. I can tell immediately, as they shared this gaze, he was one of those men: the ones who believed in women inferiority, the kind of man that look to break anything strong – like Victoria.

"How do you hide the bruises?," I ask passively.

"He is an artist at what he does, sir, very accurate and careful. All he owns and thinks is his is underneath this red dress..."

"You are beautiful," I say again, trying to heal something I may have just ripped open.

"Yes, and it is my curse," she sighs. "Goodbye, Laurent. Enjoy your stay in London." She walks from me like a ghost from a room, without any type of hesitation.

"Mama," a little boy cried, bringing all attention to himself while running to her, wrapping his arms around dress fluffed legs.

Light laughter spilled from her as I saw the one thing she loved beg to be lifted into her arms. She leaned down and picked up the redheaded child, kissing his cheeks, making all around them believe the show of a perfect family as her husband put his hand on her back, making her wince so slightly, I was the only one with eyes to see it.

"Victoria, Victoria, I will set you free," I whisper to myself.

I want her. She will be my love, and I will show her love. She will have choices. She will have red. She will have a voice. She will have life. She will have strength to match the fire of her hair. Like a bird, I will give her all that is outside of the cage.

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**_A/N:_** It is 12:50AM on a school night with a TAKS Test tomorrow... I don't know how to write in present-tense, my French thing really sucks, and my back hurts! It took me three hours to write this little gay thing... It's for you... Just for you - feel special! =- I

Naaa, but, uh, really: Thank you guys for all the reviews!


	11. She Walks In Beauty

**_A/N:_** If you see a lot "**Veronica**" where as it should be "**Victoria**", forgive me! I was talking on the phone to my friend "Veronica" and just noticed I wrote "Veronica" about a billion times... Umm.... I'm trying to fix that, but I'm probably miss a few.... Just ignore it. It's excusable: It's 4 o'clock in the morning and I'm trying to edit... I'm insane.... Anyways, enjoy all the errors and such.

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**_She Walks In Beauty _**

_England: October__, _31_ 1880_

Laughing, while tears graced her cheeks, she threw papers - "The Papers" - into the ragging hearth that she was gripping with what little strength she had. The Beast watched her, hands molded into fist, face contorted into a horrific mash of outrage, jealousy, pain, wist, and forceful love. She stared back, a mischievous smiled on her bloodied lip as she back away, pushing herself into the nearest wall.

Her very fine dress was torn, ripped from the neck to the side of her shoulder on both arms, exposing the heaving, freckled chest and white frilled under blouse and corset. Her red hair fell around her, wild and free.

"I don't need papers to tell me that your mine," he said, lowly, chuckling, approaching The Rose, "and they definitely won't stop me from taking what I want."

"That would be illegal, Sir. Rape! I could report you the authorities!," she snapped back defiantly, the grin no longer on her face.

"Victoria, love," he said, calmly, cupping her face in his hands. "I am the authorities. Besides, who would believe you? You are my wife, such pleasures are your duty to supply me.

Her breath shuddered as his fingers slipped from her face to her neck, to her chest, and atop her breast. She moaned, closing her eyes, allowing new tears fall. "I know you like this, Beauty. Must we go through this every time."

"I hate you, Gregory" she screamed, pushing with all the strength she could find at her husband. "With all of my being."

A painful sound was produced as his hand hit her face with so much force she was thrown to the ground. Before she could even let lose a cry of pain, he kicked her already mangled body in her stomach that was already bruised. She sucked in a deep breath, clutching her torso as if it were the only solid thing in the world.

Suddenly, the door burst open. "Excuse me, Sir," the house butler said, his face switching expressions - concern, sorrow, and then fear - as he looked between Victoria and Gregory.

"For the love of God, Brimly, what is it?" Gregory shouted.

"A letter has just arrived for Mrs. Wright," Brimly answered, holding it out.

Gregory moved from his stance over her reluctantly, and ripped to the folded paper from his hands. "Leave, and shut and lock all doors to our room, Brimly."

Brimly, nodded sadly, and strode from the room, completely unable to look at Victoria's abused face.

He tore it open, nearly destroying the whole letter. His eyes appraised it, only to throw it down to Victoria. "It is in French. Read it, now!"

Victoria looked at it in awe, knowing there was only one person who would have written the message in that script. Her wit broke through her weary, sore mind.

"My dear," Victoria began to read, "We have arrived in France safely. It is as beautiful as it was when I left it. I can not explain to you the happiness I feel to be back home. I don't know how I've stayed away these past five years. You must talk Gregory into bringing you to visit family here. I do hope your French is still as flawless as always -"

"That's if you have a tongue to speak with," Gregory cut her off.

Victoria looked up, fearing he caught her error. (A/N: Did you?)

"I see you wish to visit your mother." He said, with a mocking expression.

"I do," she crocked.

He crouched down down, taking out his handkerchief, and whipped the tears and blood from her face. "Then you will behave from now on, won't you, my pet?"

Her heart sung out hate, wanting nothing more than to take advantage of his unsuspecting positions and punch his smiling face, but she instead, she sat up and crushed her lips to his. He responded with a grunt, picking her up and throwing her onto their bed roughly. He crawled between her open legs with a fury, pulling up the fabric. He left soft kisses on her neck as his own tears spilled onto her and the pillow.

"I love you so much, Victoria, my dear, my wife, my angel." He nearly sobbed.

"Yes, Gregory," she spoke emotionlessly.

"Tell me you love me," he growled, pulling the dangerously sharp letter opener from their nightstand, and cut open her corset, ripping off whatever fabric covered her breast.

"I love you." Her voice was thick with tears.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Beauty." He cooed, crying, touching her. "I just need you so very much."

"I know," she sobbed... She hated this – every touch, every kiss, every moan that escaped him as well as her, every rock she couldn't fight into his thrust, every shaking release she experienced vibrate through her and into him and back again, she hated what he let go inside of her: himself.

"Oh, Victoria," he sighed so peacefully, pulling out and rolling off her sore, sweaty, thin body.

"I'm going to see, Damien," she said quickly, scuttling up and around the room for her robe and the letter.

"No," he said, his voice bearing the evil it had before her willingness. "Come back to bed, come back to me."

She stared at his open arms and stern expression. "You know he only goes to sleep when I lay with him," Victoria said. "I'll come right back to you, my husband."

His face turned into the gentleness it had, it lied when she agreed to marry him. "Fine, but do hurry and come back to me, my love. Now, give me a kiss."

She wrapped the rob securely around her as she walked to appease his command. His lips were wet and hot on hers as he kissed her with a rough passion that she knew was his love. "I love you," he whispered.

She couldn't answer it. The words scared her. She nodded, and left the room, fighting the run her heart tugged.

"Oh, Mrs. Write," said Damien's governess gasped.

"How is he," she asked, standing tall, like she wasn't just beat down.

The governess didn't say anything, just stared, one hand on her mouth and another on her stomach.

"Please, Mrs. Smith. All is well with me. How is my little one?" Victoria roamed to the corner where her son slept so peacefully, without her in his little arms and vice-versa. He had gone to sleep without a cry for her. 'He's grown, now', she thought sadly, but also with relief.

She bent down and smoothed his red hair, the thing that screamed that he was not his father. Kissing all about his face gently, she said, "I love you, My Dream."

He stirred slightly, but did not awaken from the imaginative, false reality young boys carry behind their lids. She looked up, and Mrs. Smith was no where to be seen. Hastily, Victoria pulled the letter from her rob pocket, and for the first time, really read it:

My Dear,

I own your future:

_She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies._

_One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impaired the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express  
How pure, how dear their dwelling place._

_And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent! _

Please let me set you free. Meet me in the garden. You needn't bring any possessions, other than yourself. Say goodbye to your family, for if you love them, you will not see them for many years. Come to me. I will give you what's yours by fate. Come to me, Victoria.

Victoria's heart sored with excitement, hope that she had a chance to survive, that she could escape. Of course, there was a tiny sadness that broke into her contentiousness with a soft snore. Victoria's heart filled with guilt as she stared at the tiny creature that was before her, so young and untainted with the reality of the world.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, crawling into the bed with her son. She got under the blanket that covered him, and wrapped herself around his small body, cradling him, and playing with his little locks. She hummed him the two songs he'd beg her for every night, while she thought of the past 4 years of his existence: His birth, when he began to teethe, his first steps, his first words, everything that led up to this moment.

"You'll understand one day, I promise," she whispered to him. "Just know that I love you, I always will. Goodbye, my little Damien. Don't forget me..."

She removed herself from the small bed, and stood up, never taking her eyes off the sleeping child. She looked at him for a few minutes more, and then leaned down and kissed his hair, smoothing it immediately after. Then, without any feeling of loss, left the room.

When she opened the door, the governess was waiting outside, in the hallway. "Mrs. Smith," she said. "Watch over him with your life please."

Mrs. Smith looked at her curiously, but then sensed the finality in the air. "Yes, ma'am," she said most earnest. "I love him as if he were my own."

"He all but is," Victoria sighed, and then clasped the governesses hands. "If anything is to every happen to me, do tell him of me, please."

The governess, kissed Victoria's hands. "It's okay. I'll tell him everything when it's time. Go, run!"

Victoria smiled, taken aback by the lady's compassion. "Thank you," she gratefully.

Victoria did as the nurse suggested and ran down the stairs, through the great room, towards the back of the house, and out the back door as quickly as her legs would allow her.

Like a wonder out of a story book, Laurent watched Victoria run so gracefully, so powerfully across the lawn, her bear feet making soft pat sounds on the freshly fallen leaves of autumn that draped the ground. Her hair dance around her shoulders with every stride, free as she was soon to be. The long mass caught the falling the petals of the Cherry Blossoms that flew into the breeze like a net made specifically for the beauty of the moments.

When she reached him, she fell to her knee's, completely out of breath, clutching her sides. Her whole body was sore from her husbands temper and the run had ripped them anew. When she found the will, she stood up, recapturing her pride, and looked at Laurent with confidence.

"You asked me to come," she said, in a tone of complete vanity.

"Good evening, fair and beautiful maiden," Laurent greeted, bowing from the waist. "But it seems the evening has not been well at all." He touched the blue bruise on the side of her face, and took note of the others on her neck and swollen lips. "Well, that will not be much longer," he growled.

"What do you mean?" she asked wearily, actually fearing for her husband. "You in no way wish to harm my bastard of a husband, do you, sir?"

Laurent laughed at her spirit, giving him more unneeded reason to what he planned for her, for them. "Not, at all my sweet, sour tongued friend. I will leave that pleasure to you."

"You don't think I've tired," she chuckled humorlessly. "The man is stronger than the forces of nature, I tell you."

At this Laurent laughed loudly.

"Do you mock me, sir?" Victoria hissed.

Laurent's laughter cut off that instant, fading into absolute seriousness. "Never. The comedy is that you have no comparison of what is natural and what is not, but now you shall."

He bent down and effortlessly picked up a massive stone from the rock garden that rimmed the empty flower bed. He looked at her as she did him, with wonder, as he pulled the rock, breaking it right down the middle.

She didn't gasp or seem impressed. She just stared at the rip. "You are powerfully," she said mater-of-factly.

He dropped the rocks onto bare soil, and took her hands into his. "It can be yours."

"Yes," she said immediately. "I should like to have power."

"You will leave all you know for this power that is the very essence of freedom? Will you die to live forever. Will you wallow in pain for three nights to own this strength that you deserve above all?"

She looked back her dimly lighten house and tried to find something she'd regret losing, but in the end, her mind discovered nothing. I am an evil person, she thought. "Weakness is too strong a force to get caught under, and I am so very trapped in it's net. Can what you seek to give me lift this veil from my eyes?"

Laurent smiled. "It will put you above death. All you wish to have will be yours if you chose wisely and logically. You will lose much, but gain more than you can imagine."

"Give it to me then, Laurent," she said, for the first time using his name.

He gathered close to her, and whispered in her ear, "May I hold you?"

"Yes," she whispered back, not able to say anymore before her body was jerked in motion. He had swooped her up in the bridle form and moved through the blur of darkness that had become the world to her human eyes. She kept her eyes on the stars, the only think that looked to not be in indescribable movement.

When all was still again, she was standing in the moonlight, surrounded by tree's and darkness. Then a shallow lantern was lit, exposing Laurent's figure. She went to him, wanting to be near the light, close to some type of warmth.

"What am I to become? She asked, watching him set the lantern onto the ground.

"What I am – a vampire." He sat upon the dirt of the earth, beckoning her to join him.

She did of course. "Okay," she said nonchalantly.

"What are Vampires to you?" He asked her. "What is your knowledge."

"All things that haunt story books," she replied vaguely, picking the flower petals out of her hair, and dashing them to the cold ground.

"They are partly untrue." Laurent promised, as if she lit up with fear and not the tranquil she was. "You will be able to walk in the rays of the day without pain. You will not need a coffin to sleep in, because never will you sleep. You will be as constant as theses oak's, but stronger, forever. You will sustain your life by taking the lives of others?"

She stopped pulling the petals from her hair, and let her hands rest in her lap. "Okay," she sighed.

"Does losing your humanity disturb you at all?" He was not trying to hurt her, but was honestly curious. "What of murdering? What of your family, your son?"

She fiddled her thumbs in her lap, thoughtfully. "Life is a cell to so many people. I do not think of murder as something so evil, but as cutting the steal of interment so many people live. And also, I do not like humanity. And as for Damien, my son... I don't know how to explain this... I love him, but I don't want him."

She looked up at him sharply, measuring his expression for revulsion. "Continue. I do not understand."

"His making was not my decision. I never wanted a child. I am much too young, Laurent. I fought and fought, but could only take what he was determined for me to have. Every night, Gregory forced himself on me, making sure to leave a seed, and one night, he succeeded. I carried Damien, hating the child that destroyed my health, hoping that maybe in birth, his first breath would be my last.

"Over time, I came to love him, but never have I wanted him. I want so much for him to be happy because he is my son, and I am completely certain that he will be. And, besides, it would be better his mother to disappear than to have a mother who committed suicide before his 5th birthday. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he answered, completely honest. "I do, and do not blame your situational decision."

She smiled, her eyes watery with the mystic feeling of being understood. "Thank you."

"Come to me, Victoria, embrace me, so we can begin your painful journey between death and life."

She took a deep breath, but crawled onto his lap and into his outstretched arms, ready to shed the skin that held her under the curtain of anguish. He bit her, and that was the end of human comfort and the beginning of fire that has always burned in her.

* * *

I know, I know I haven't gotten much further in the main story(the story your started reading at first), but I felt her past was relevant to the rest of the story. It's so you guys can understand all the elements better. I'll get on with the B/V lovey crap next chapter, I promise! And of course, Veronica was changed on Halloween! I love having unstudied characters to play with! Thanks once more for the awesome reviews, yo! I don't even ask for them, and, yet, they keep coming! I appreciate each one dearly.

Oh, and poem is called: She Walks In Beauty by Lord Byron.

~Edit~


	12. I mean ever

_**A/N: **_YEAH!! SPRING BREAK IS HERE!!

Now, I know that most of the people that are reading this thing are probably still in middle school(like me), and won't be able to understand Victoria's little epiphany she's going to have. I mean... a lot of you won't. I was very vague on James and Victoria's relationship, but if you paid attention and your the kind of person that read between the lines... You _might_ understand. My brain works too fast for my fingers, so I forget to add detail and such. But I think you knew that with the bleak "surroundings" description I give. I'm just too lazy. Sorry. Whatever...

Bone Appetit!!

* * *

**_I mean ever.._**

"BE QUIET!!!" I screamed in the face of my enemy, holding him to the giving wall.

Because he was already in my grasp, throwing him out the door was a quick thing. He landed sideways across the length of a pine, totally leveling it. Before he could make any move, I pounced on him, much like a lion would a gazelle, biting deep into his neck. My prey was much stronger than I was, so of course he thew me off him, mumbling something that my anger blurred.

He was stronger, but I was faster, slighter, pissed off. I jumped on him again, but only to get enough leverage to kick him deeper into the woods, to take him farther away from what I was fighting for. When he landed, I punched him with all my fury in the first thing I saw when I awake to this power. As soon as my fist reached his face, the shock of his kick into my stomach vibrated through my body as I was air born. The pain was fierce, but James taught me to never surrender a second to a wound.

I didn't let my body hit the ground, but instead grabbed the nearest trunk I could find. I steadied my blow on the weakened pine, only to rip it from the ground and throw it at my opponent. I heard it crash upon him, but could not find him after the debris dissipated from my sight. There was nothing but the echo and my own growling. I turned all about, searching, hunting...

"Where are you," I roared, only to get the softest voice in return.

"Victoria..." Laurent had whispered. "Please..."

He was near, but still out of sight.

"You started this," I yelled. "Come and finish it!"

There was silence, not a foot fall for miles...

"This is not a war Victoria," he sighed from no more than a foot away from me. Before I could turn around, I was forced to the ground and onto my stomach by an inescapable strength.

"I'll kill you," I screamed, thrashing, trying to get away from the weight that was atop my body. My wrist were clasped and then push up my pine, locking me in place with pain. I cried out – the pain of having my arms, my bones forced into a completely unnatural angle. The extrusion only lasted a moment before it was lessened, until he stopped the pushing my arms up my back, but the memory was still with me, keeping me from trying to free myself.

"This is not a game that you can win with your fists. And if it were a game at all, you would lose," he growled dangerously into my ear, filling me with honest fear of the truth he spoke. "You cannot kill your maker."

Knowing there was nothing more I could do, I let me body relax in defeat under his. He let my arms go, and faster than I could make note of, rolled me over and had me on my back. My wrists were pined to the ground, along with my body that was being held down by his. His face was so near mine, I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Get off of me," I said, lowly, closing my eyes to his penetrating rubies.

"Then get off of me," he spoke just with as much anger. "Forever, you have had my heart like no other I have met in all my life. I have had yours, but you're just too stupid and violent to take my kind, my gentleness. For the first day ever, I have caused you pain. Do you like this? Do you want this? Would you rather me treat you as if you are below me, weaker, because you are and always will be?"

He bit into my neck, and the fire rolled through me, turning me into flam with it.

"This is what James gave you, right?," he continued in a growl. "Violence, pain, the equivalent to what you have received your whole existence."

I was crying under the weight of the pain... and the truth.

"Why do you want to suffer these things? Why do you still go back to the powerless thing you were as a human. Look at what I have given you." He gently kissed my cheeks, soothing the pain with his coldness.

All that he said leaked into me with his venom, making me realize as it coursed through my veins... This actuality was nothing new to me, but for more than a century, I fought it with the cover of ignorance. James loved me, took care of me, protected and taught me... His anger was just apart of his mentality. In all honesty to myself, I let him overpower me in order to be owned. It's easier being owned than kept, there's more security.

Gregory owned me... He was the one that took care of me, bought me nice things, kept me from the fear of becoming something below the society I was raised in... All I had to do was merely endure him... His strength. But it was different with James, I thought. I was more durable, beautiful, powerfully. If I had too much of his unpredictable wrath, I could simply put up a fight.

I was crying still, not in pain, but in memory of all that I lost in this moment. I loved James immensely, but he was so abusive at times... I cried because I had hidden all of that abuse under the wonderful smiles he gave me, the sweet words, riddles, and the wisdom that was like a gift with each lesson. He was kind sometimes but more a very sadistic being...

Why shouldn't he be? He was alive, alone, and unloved for nearly 200 hundred years, before he met me... I didn't know love fully and neither did he, so what if we had our arguments, our fights... We were still young in ways... That's what I thought then, before Laurent gave me this vision: I know love. I've known love for too long a time now...

Laurent had given me love the moment he changed me... The night the fire of my birth died away and I opened my eyes to this new world, he wrapped me in his arms. _"Stay with me, and I will love you forever."_ He had whispered that into my sensitive ears in the first minute of my new existence. I wasn't looking for that though. I was so used to being owned, I couldn't fathom the gentleness he offered... Then, one hunt out in Paris, I met James... He had everything I left in Gregory and more – sweetness and sting.

"Do you see yet, Victoria," Laurent spoke sadly into my hair, stroking it softly, pulling me from my trance of realization, my departure of oblivion. "I love you... You need me..."

I opened my eyes and looked into his. "I love you too, but I do not need you... Not yet; not now..."

His eyes flutter with hurt. He pushed himself off me, to his feet, and turned his back to me. I just laid there, my hands still in the place he had them all but stapled into the ground.

"I know," he sighed, his age heavy on his breath. "You need her..."

I sat up, her sweet face flying into my vision. "Yes," I answered. "She's my teacher, Laurent."

"She will not last, Victoria." He turned and faced me as he spoke, his eye on fire with certainty. "Whatever way, you cannot keep her." This time his voice was more warning.

"I have no intentions on doing so, Laurent," I snapped back, angry he could think I would drag an angel down by the wings... '_Only the fallen ones are so lucky to be pushed into this darkness'_. It is not in my destiny to push her into eternity... That I can feel just as well as him, even if I don't have the gift such as his.

He laughed at my tone. "Call to me when you are mended and whole, Victoria. I'll be were I always am..."

He turned and began to walk quickly away.

"Where might that be, Laurent?" I called to him.

He was suddenly a few inches away from me, a surprise to even my vampire eyes. He pressed his cool lips to mine in what felt like the longest kiss. "Right behind you," he whisper. And before I could open my eyes, he was gone.

No longer a child, I walked immediately back to my home, without the slightest confusion to where I belonged at that moment.

The cabin was very cold. With the door being busted open, the winter had soaked into the room. On the couch, sat a pale, frozen, tear streaked Bella. I did not run to her like my body screamed me to do, but instead turned around and propped the fallen door back onto the frame, forcing it into place better than nails could.

Then I walked to the fireplace that was in the bed room, and lit a fire with the logs that sat neatly, unused in the hearth. I watched it grow, collecting myself before taking a deep breath, a blanket, and walking out the soft thing that sat, petrified on the couch where I left her.

When I reached her, I wrapped the blanket around the shuddering figure, and just as quickly picked her up and brought moved her to the bedroom, where I laid her on the bed, only two feet away from the fire that roared heat even I could feel.

When I looked at her again, her eyes were closed, tears running from them like a fountain of pain. I saw a part of myself there, in those tears, the wet on her eyelashes. I knew this girl, maybe better than she did... I lost this girl that day... The weak, fragile being that only wanted love and care and joy and smiles and kisses and all the pleasant stories of fairy tales... Sadly they didn't write the true version... The only person who can give those things is yourself, but she is young and will need to hurt much more before she could even comprehend the truth.

I leaned down and using not a single muscles, wiped the raining emotion from her cheeks, catching each one that fell. It must have been minutes that I repeated the process, never letting one past her cheeks. Once, they slowed to almost none, she finally opened her eyes, but only to look into the fire that still burned willingly.

"He's right," she said, her voice horse.

"He usually is," I answered, musing out loud. "But what about, sweetie?"

"I am using you... I don't love you, Victoria. I just kind of need you around, your skin," she stopped the stroking of my fingers on her face and brought them to her lips, just to hold there. "They're so cold and hard... This is what I know..."

"You are his, Bella. That was never in question," I answered her. "I understand this... We both belong to someone else. I understand."

She then, quick enough to make her joins pop with the action, brought her lips to my lips, crushing them with all her strength to the area. Unable to fight their warmth, I kissed her back.

"I need you," she gasped. She pulled me down, on top of her, and sunk the kiss into something deeper, something that did not seem human anymore. I wasn't aware of anything – What was up; what's down; is it day; is it night; am I still on Earth.

I was so wrapped up in her that I didn't even notice when her legs wrapped around my waist. The skirt had made the short journey up her legs, and her bare tights were scorching my skin. Her hands roamed my body, my hair, my neck, my breast, the curve of my hips, and then she found the hem of my shirt. Her finger played around skin of my lower back for awhile, then without warning, pulled the shirt up, and broke away from my lips to pulled it right off me.

I was stuck in a daze... Intoxicated with her sent, with the blood that was coursing through her veins with such a haste that I was consumed in the same frustration of not reaching the destination quick enough: her heart. It reached me soon enough. I grasped onto her face, to find some kind of solid in the heat, and she moved my hands from her face to small mounds that I didn't have to open my eyes to identify.

I could feet the war drum-like beat against the palm of my hand, as she moaned into the kiss and lifted her chest to my amazed, hungry hands. I let them traveled her body, angry that everywhere they looked, they found fabric, and I wanted the soft warmth that made her human. Completely irritated with it's texture, I led my hands to the very neck of the collar and ripped it straight down the middle, until the whole shirt was shredded from her body.

She gasped when my cold hands landed upon her sensitive warm skin, but I did not let her free of the kiss that was now more like oxygen for me. I ran my fingers slowly across the expanse of her chest, teasingly before I actually found her breast. The bra held her breasts perfectly, shaping to their pettiness so easily, but unable to hold in my excitement, I ripped it right off her with a slight tug.

Bella seemed to almost whimper like a child, tightening her legs around me, digging her hands into my hair, pulling my body down to her, so that both of our completely unclothed torsos were touching...

"Victoria," she gasped, ripping her mouth from mine. I just brought my mouth to her neck, where I could feel her vein working so hard under her soft, thin skin. "I think we know where this is heading," she breathed heavily, moaning on some words. I moved lower down her neck to kiss and gently suck on her left clavicle, running my hands up and down the side of her body – from her shoulders to her calves, pulling up the her skirt that much more every time, wanting more of her.

Her hips began a rocking motion into me that made a growl rumble out of my chest, as desire broke lose all over my body.

"Victoria," she tried to start again. "I want you to know that I've never done this before..."

"Me either," I said so quickly, I'm surprised she heard me.

I moved my lips down her breast now, kissing down the left one, the one that all the blood was washing to, the one that her heart pounded madly under. I felt that pulsing underneath my lips so strongly, I thought it would just beat out and into my mouth, flood my stomach with the sweet, fresh, ripe, young things that this girl was made off.

I was just about to reach the rocked pink circle, but then she moaned. "I mean ever..."

I lifted my heat to look into her eyes. "What?"

* * *

**_A/N:_** I should have named this thing: DRAMA, because that's all that seems to be freakin' happening, and I can't really help it... Anyhoo, did you like?? Not too sleasy I hope. I don't really know Steph's Bella(other than she annoying, like her author(no one yell at me for that, Pleassssssssse!!!!(No one needs to tell me I'm a hypocriate, because I already know this, 'kay?))), but mine seems pretty easy. Anyways, um, because I won't have any homework to do, I'll probably**_ try_** to finish the rest of the story. Yes! The END is near... All fear!

Oh, and, and one more thing:

_Palistus_ polietly informed me that my math is as good as I try and tell my teachers: Victoria, by my own words is a 152-years-old... My mistake and stupidness... Thank you Palistus!


	13. Wholehearted Fascination

**_Wholehearted Fascination_**

"What?" Her voice was full of fear, pissing me off that much more.

I growled lowly. "What did you say?"

She swallowed hard. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? I just asked you 'what'," I accused, pulling away from her.

She looked at me for a moment, pretending to be confused, then shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about. Let's just forget about it, okay?' She stroked my face, and whispered kisses so softly on my lips. I fell into them, so ready to agree with their warm will... _Don't be so weak, Victoria, _I thought to myself. I pulled away, disconnecting her hands from my hair.

"No," I said in a gasp. I paused to catch my breath, controlling my wist. "What did you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what did I mean'," she said innocently, putting all her attention to the lock of my hair she twirled around her fingers.

"About what you said!" Her act was making this sooooo much harder. "Look at me, Bella."

Her eyes darted quickly to my face, gazing into my eyes then scrolled down to my lips. "What did I say?" She put her soft fingers on my bottom lip, feeling the texture, while letting her eyes roam our compressed chest, sliding her other hand across my back so lightly I might have not caught it if my body wasn't in such a sensitive state.

"Oh, Bella," I moaned, closing my eyes to have my vision fill with all the things I wanted to do to her.

"Shhhh," she whispered. "It doesn't matter... Forget what I said - it's not important."

She crashed her lips upon mine, and they replied with enthusiasm. I dove into her eagerness with a vengeance. I was going to ravage her. _This is one way that I can hurt him without hurting Bella_, I thought, making it okay with myself. I brought my mouth back to her neck, my throat was aflame with so many emotions.

My body was in civil war: Part of me wanted to hold her painfully tight, drive my teeth into the shoulder I kissed, and suck her dry. Then another part of me wanted to roll over her, savor the wonderful warmth, beautiful sounds, and sweet motions her body projected, but most of all, the young, untrained, untainted life that was the teenager under my lips!

The _teenager_... The virgin who was not in love with me... I couldn't take this from her. She'd want it back later, to give to him. It's an experience I would not steal, knowing what it was like to have it ripped from your hands.

"OH GOD!" I yelled, cursing the Creator for making someone so enticing! "No, Bella!" I cried, thrusting myself off the bed and on to the fool, and landing with a loud thump that left a dent.

She leaned her head over the bed's edge, eyes wide. "I'm sorry," she squeaked.

"It's not you, it's me." I sighed.

Her face cheered up at that. "Oh, well, then what is it? Is it my blood?"

I sneered at her acceptance of that. "No, I mean, yes, that does play a part, but no major role..."

Her face fell in confusion and hardened with focus. I could tell she was trying to keep her eyes fixed on my face.

"Look, I thought you were... older, okay?" I said, getting off the ground and sliding on my shirt at a rate I knew she wouldn't really pick up. When I looked back to her, her expression was absolute disappointment.

"Hey," she cried, angry, sitting up, looking at me with a full grimace.

"'Hey', nothing. I though you and Edward were a little further in your relationship." I picked up her shirt and threw it on the bed. "Now, put it on. He already has enough reasons to kill me. If I going to die, I'd rather skip past as much pain as possible."

She looked at the shirt and threw it back at me. "This isn't fair. Why does it matter, anyways?"

"One," I began, tossing the shirt back to her. "I'd like to avoid death if I can. Two - if I can't, I'd rather not be tortured to it. Three – you don't want to lose something like... _that_ to someone you don't really have much feeling for."

She thought about it, her face softening by the second. "Who said I didn't have much feeling for you," she said shyly.

"You did, Bella," I said annoyed she wanted to play these games of the heart, pulling on strings to get what she wanted. "It was less than fifteen minutes ago, remember?"

She smiled wickedly. "I don't really remember much of my life past fifteen minutes ago. Kiss me again, and maybe it will have a reverse affect and I'll remember."

"Cute, but not gonna work." I laughed.

She fell dramatically on the bed, throwing her head into the pillow, hiding her face, and of course, began to cry.

Groaning, I sat down on the bed, and put my hand on her bare back, stroking it, trying to give comfort, but only igniting my own tamed desire.

"This isn't fair," she cried. "I need something, someone. There's this place in me that wants to be held and kissed and wanted and loved and filled. And just a few minutes ago, I was completely sure of what that place was, so if you even like as a person, do me this one tiny favor."

She lifted herself very suddenly up and threw her arms around my neck, bringing once again, her lips hard to mine. I sighed into the kiss, feeling my will slip aways again. The third time this night, what I could do to her frail body teased my reasoning. Needing to get her attention away from this want she seemed to believe she needed with all her being, I grasped a big fist of her hair and pulled her face away from mine.

Once detached from my mouth, she immediately convulsed into open sobs. I did not let my strength on her go - I kept her head controlled by the grip on her hair, and just let her cry herself out. I watched her, entranced with her raw emotion, studying it with wholehearted fascination. Did I look like this, I wondered. Was loss this powerful on my interior?

Finally, after minutes I didn't count passed, her pain silenced into hiccups as she watched me watch her till they completely disappeared.

I let her go, picked up her shirt, watching her wearily, ready to run if she tried to attack me with her hormones again. "Arms up, precious."

She crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head stubbornly.

"That's childish, Bella," I said evenly, one eyebrow raised. "Am I really gonna have to fight you – like a toddler - to put on your clothes on."

She nodded and stuck out her tongue.

"Bella, don't make me." I warned, not quite sure what it was I was warning about.

However, the warning got to her, amplified with my expression and silence. "Look, I just happen to be quite comfortable this way, and _**we are both female**_, aren't we," she asked, quoting me, throwing in the action of curling fingers.

"Fine, suit yourself, but don't complain to me if you get cold, which you can't deny you already are." I motioned down, grinning.

"That's your fault: you're a cold being, Victoria," she said lowly, then laughed. "Anyways, with the heat of the fire being so close, I'm actually getting kind of hot. Come lay with me and keep me cool. I promise not to try anything. Just hold me, and talk with me."

I looked at her for a moment, testing out her earnestness, to found no flaws. I nodded. She took my hands, and led me down to bed. We laid facing each other, barely a foot apart, my arms wrapped around her bare shoulders while her played with my hair's almost ringlets. I closed my eyes and relaxed, so very, very content at where I was.

"Were you pretty when you were a human," she asked. I did not open my eyes when she touch my cheek or started to trace my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "I was considered very beautiful. And beauty back in that time was absolute wealth. I was a jewel to my family, and they cash me in very decidedly."

"I know you told me about your abusive husband, but you never told me much about your son. Did you ever see him again?" She asked, playing with my hair again.

"I did," I replied. "I watched him from a distance. He grew into a fine man: intelligent, kind, beautiful wife and children. His father remarried after my disappearance of course, but this wife did what I was not strong enough to do – kill him. One night, she slit his throat with a very hand letter opener, or at least, that's what the paper said. She was hanged for it, sadly.

"Much to my happiness, Damien inherited everything – the house, the bank, the money, and was raised by my parents. He grew up spoiled with books and education, so his life was an easy one. Found a wonderful wife with out any limitations to who he could pick. Had a high stance in society: a doctor and of course owner of a bank in the U.S.

"Once I was sure he would be completely content, I stopped making runs to England or "The U.K." it's called now. My last visit was the day Damien died:

"There was something, a maternal seventh sense that went off, nagging me to go and see him. When I got there, to the house he was raised and aged in, I walked right in through the front door, past his crying children, who were trying to comfort their crying children, and not one of them noticed me.

"_I walked into the bedroom his soft, fading sent was the strongest, where his heart flourished it's last bit of existence. It was a bedroom that held nothing but nightmares for me, so it seemed appropriate that he would die in this room. _

"_He was gray, pruned, and small. Time had had it's beating on him. His face sagged with wisdom as his eyes glittered with memories. I walked over to him, put my hand in his. His closed eyes opened and a smile that took effort he was determined to give stretched out across his face. _

"_Momma," he said so softly that without my heightened ears, I wouldn't have heard him. _

"_I smiled and kissed his frail cheek. "Hello, Damien. How are you, my love?"_

"_Dying," he tried to laugh, but it came out as a cough. "It's not so bad," he wheezed, gripping my hand with a bit more pressure. "I suppose God only sends angels when it's time to leave, huh?" _

"_I know he told me to come see you," I whispered, smoothing his white craggy curls. _

"_What is death like, momma?" He asked, sighing._

"_It's a new kind of life. A life away from the promise of death and limitation. It's freedom." I spoke truthfully of my death, although I had no idea of what would be his. _

"_Mhhh... That sounds pleasant. Will you hum to me, like you used to do, momma?" When I looked into his glassy, blue eyes, I saw what my death should have been like. I crawled next to him on the big bed, wrapped my arms around him, _much like have you now," I said to Bella, who's eyes were watery.

_I hummed him so many songs, feeling his body become colder as the pains of death took it's grasp. "Can you take me to heaven now, momma. I'm very ready to leave."_

"_Are you sure, darling," I asked him. _

_He nodded and beamed at me. There he was, my little boy, ready for anything. _

_I pulled him closer, and whispered, "Sweet dreams then, my Damien." _

_With that final farewell and not the slightest hesitation, I bit into his neck. He gasped, but then sighed. "Thank you," he breathed with his last breath as I took my own blood into me, took a part of him into me."_

I looked at Bella and smiled at the tears that gleamed in her eyes. "Do you miss him," she said in a whisper.

I gave it though thought before smiling. "No... I can't say I do. I never knew him. He was my son, my blood, a friend, and I love him, but nothing more than that. We had a connection keeping us together, and that connection was completely cut when he died. I never wanted a child, Bella. I just had one... That was our relationship."

"Wow," she said, her jaw open just a bit at amazement.

"Oh, shut up," I laughed. "You can't and will never understand. When you have children, if you do, you'll love them as if they were the very sun, your main source of light. Why? Because that's the annoyingly common, sweet, kind person you are. I should eat you right now. Innocents always taste the best."

I regretted saying such a thing right after, but to my grave relief, she just laughed. Then said, her face painted in red. "I was begging you to do that like 40 minutes ago."

I chuckled, unable to keep the incredulous mask I tried to hold. "Maybe I should take back that innocent statement. You've got quite the mind, don't you? But then again, I should expect that from a virgin teenager. You're hormones must be insane."

"Mmhum," she answered nodding.

"Good." I flicked her nose. "It'll make it all the more enjoyable!"

She rolled her eyes, and turned moodily away from me, changing from one side of her body to the other, so my face was covered by her hair. I giggled and wrapped my arm around her waist, curling up into the shape of her body, all but sowing us together.

It was silent – free from voice I should say - for a numerous amount of minutes, before she asked quietly, "If he doesn't come, will you take me?"

"Take you where," I asked, thinking there was more to her question. "If you want to go back to Forks, I swear to take you back right this moment." My heart jogged in sadness as I realized I would not deny her this if she wished.

"No, no, no," she said to my utter relief. "I mean, I don't know... Not right now. What I meant was would you take me if no one else wants me?"

I was quiet, completely scanning the request. "Yes," I answered surly. "I would, but you would never love me."

"You don't know that," she argued. "You don't have any idea how I feel about you, so stop assuming! Your starting to sound like a repeat of what just left me..."

"Okay, dang, I'm sorry. No need to get hot and bothered. We'll know with time, I suppose."

"Yup," she said, her voice far away in thought.

I filled the almost silence with fingering up and down her side, playing piano on her rip cage. It must have been soothing, because she dosed off as the sun dropped and the fire dimmed.

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**_A/N:_** Blame it's lateness on the lamness of my laptop... Had a hardware issue. If tomorrow goes well and I actually go to sleep tonight, I write another chapter!!! But don't take that for certain! I'm a proud procrastinator! Umm... I'm sorry my lovely pervese... There will be no sex... I tell you once again, I'm not even out of Middle School! I have no idea what sex should feel like, exspecially with a chick...


	14. The Spirit of Gravity

**_A/N:_** I did it!!!** I am too lazy for editing**, and it seems I can't spell "scent"... I noticed that while reading over the last chapter. Sorry about that: I'm dyslexic if that makes any difference.

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_**The Spirit of Gravity**_

"Where are you going," she asked, jumping off the couch we were curled up in, watching a horror movie.

"Out," I said shortly, trying to avoid the finer details.

"Out where," she asked, following me out the door.

I turned and kissed her hair softly. "The movie made me hungry. I'm going to go get some dinner, 'kay?"

She looked at me in disgusts as she always did when it came to this part of reality. I know she liked to forget about it – it made things easier. She was used to forgetting with Edward.

"Please don't," she begged, gripping on to my arms.

"Would you rather me accidentally kill you?" I turned off the porch, taking her stumbling forward with me.

"Bella," I said irritatedly. "Let go, please. Go finish watching the movie. I'll be back in an hour or two."

"Can't you just... you know??" She motioned out into the trees.

I laughed at her expression: She was still grimacing, but this was at the thought of me taking down some filthy animal... like Bambi...

"You'd rather me eat a few of the Berenstain Bears or something of that grossness, than a yummy waitress or two hating their boring existence in life?" I looked at her with and emotionless expression, waiting to see what stupid thing she would stutter.

"I'd just rather you not take a human life," she said, looking down.

"Why," I asked. "What's the difference between an animal and a human? Well, besides the fact that one is capable of evil, complex emotions, and a shower."

She looked up at me hesitantly, and then smacked her lips, throwing her arms up. "Just still!"

"Sorry, B. I can't live off the blood of pets like Edward and the rest of the freaks in the Cullen Cult. I don't get how they do it. It's stupid, in my opinion, to deny themselves of the gift we were given, but whatever – gotta go now." I patted her hair and took off through the trees before she could mope.

Once out of the cage of her scent, I felt like I had just been pulled out of a fire and thrown straight into the water of the arctic. It was kind of a painful sensation. I had to stop for a few moments and take deep breaths, trying to stretch out into the new air that held nothing more than the gases of nature. I wondered out into the tree, running north, paralleling the road that would take me to a town I had yet to hit up.

With in a forty minute jog, I came across the little city. The welcome sign promised only 6,372 was it's population. It was a jaded dot on a map I could see. It's main attraction was a little square full of antique, skiing, food, clothing, and book stores. I pulled out of the trees that surrounded a pitiful empty park of only two swings and a slide.

I walked about into the shopping area, not impressed. It was a good day, warm compared to the previous freeze that blew in last week, chilling even Bella, who was wrapped in three thick blankets, with the heater on, and so close to the fireplace, I feared she might get burned. People walked around the small centers, talking, knowing each other like family – that's what you expect in small towns of this such.

When I pulled out into the small crowd, I did draw some attention, not too much, thankfully – wearing a heavy jack, shoe's, and taking unnecessary showers has really made going in public an easy thing – I don't look like I've been running around the jungle with Tarzan(a movie Bella and I watched last night). Sadly, being so much more beautiful than anything these people have seen makes it hard to go anywhere unnoticed.

I was surrounded by food again, so my throat was back in action with the flame, crawling evilly up to the tip of my tongue with hunger. Anyone was adequate to me in the starvation I felt at that moment. I shouldn't have let myself get this bad, I knew, but I never wanted to leave Bella's sight. He might come, and I wouldn't be able to tell her goodbye.

I wanted to tackle the nearest person next to me, but bit my lip and forced myself to walk through the people, to search for an easy target to sway away from the small crowd. Little did I know that my prey would dance into me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the little girls said in unison, wonder unhidden in their eyes as they looked up at me.

"That's okay, loves," I smiled, sending out the net to the little creatures below me, decided on my meal.

They looked no more than 7 maybe 8 years old with their blond hair pulled into the same style, their small frames clothed in the same colors, even their boots where the same. They mirrored each other completely, but that had nothing to do with the uniform they wore: They were twins, of the same seed and date of birth. They were beautiful as they smiled sweetly up at me.

"Where were you two headed so quickly," I asked them.

Because of my beauty and soft kindness, of course they answered me with trust. "We're looking for our mommy," the right one answered, as the other nodded. "We were playing hide an seek over there," she pointed to somewhere aimlessly. "And then when we to find her, she wasn't there. Have you seen her?"

I smiled reassuringly to the lost lambs. "I think I have. She just went over there, you see?" I pointed down the sidewalk, the direction I had just come from. I took each other their hands, and walked them down, past people who gave only affectionate glances.

"Humm..." I said, acting confused. "I bet she went over there, probably thinking you ran off into the park. Wanna go see?" I looked down for their approval, not wanting to make them feel in the slightest uneasy about following me.

"Maybe she did." said the one who held my right hand like I was a genius to think such a thing.

"We should go see. She might have thought Daddy took us," echoed the one on my right, who pulled us in motion.

We walked into the small park, but, like I already knew, it was empty of people and away from any wondering eyes. Not wanting to prolong my aching throat, I pick the girls up before they could make a sound, and ran them as fast as I could deep into the trees.

When I dropped them to the ground they looked up at and around them so shaken they could only squeak cries and hold tight to each other. They blubbered words and pleads incoherently as I pulled them apart taking the nearest one into my arms and biting hard into her soft skin. She cried and tried to fight me with her little fist, thrashing her weak body with a forces that only felt like hugs and caress.

I smiled into the blood that filled my mouth, such relief folded into my stomach. It was a beautiful as watching a flower bloom, drinking this young thing, listening to her heart dry out in my arms... No one can understand the true essence of power until your killing a living thing that has so much promise still left in life...

Her sister watch in horror until the very end of the show. When I dropped her sisters lifeless body, the innate want for survival kicked in. She pushed her little limbs in motions, using her useless muscles to escape my sight. I laughed at her attempt, and watched her run away from me.

Then, put myself right in front of her path, making her stop in her tracks to avoid running into me. "You wanna play a game, sweetie?"

She sobbed for her mother as she shook her head.

"Well, I do!" I pouted. "Look, it's easy. You know it – tag. I'll be It okay? Now I'll count to 10, and you run." I turned into the trees and began the count down. "10, 9, 8, 7..."

When I finally reached 0, she was of course out of sight, but I cold smell her sugary skin swishing through the wind. It took me less than five seconds to catch her and snatch her up in my arms. "I've got you," I laughed over her screaming.

"Oh, shhh," I soothed, holding her head to my shoulder. "Now, now..."

She shook violently with fear, in the state I liked my meal – heart hot and raging. In kindness, I decided to stop playing with my food, and bit deep into her shoulder. Her blood was exactly the same as her sister's, no surprise, but because I wasn't drowning in hunger, I actually got to enjoy this fountain.

I let the draining last about 15 minutes, switching sides a and places on her neck and shoulders to retrieve blood from a different angle, a new wound, listening to the music of the moment: her faltering heart and useless screams and struggles. Sadly, she quieted as she emptied and died. I tossed her cold body to the ground and whipped my mouth.

Full with my sacrifices, I took off back to the cabin. The run was so much more soothing without the pangs of starvation. I got to savor the kindness of nature. I swam through the air, letting the wind kiss my face. I was lost in the Spirit of Gravity, wishing I could stay at this speed forever. Relaxing deeper, I became unaware of my senses, and let myself go into thought, hardly noticing the fact that I was in motion.

It wasn't until I was knock of my course and heavily to the ground that I smell it... That familiar and damned smell, the stench of an enemy. I picked myself up off the ground quickly, turning in the direction the scent radiated. There she was: childishly small, beautiful, black haired, and golden eyed.

"Long time no see, huh, Alice?" I asked "How are you doing?"

She smiled kindly for a brief second and then leaped at me, snarling.

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A/N: It kinda sucks, but I had to have something that would finally lead to the "Coming of A Cullen"(that sounds dirty) so why not send Victoria out to go feed on some little girls, right(Was that too morbid and sadistic? It seemed like something she would do...)? That way I can throw in a fight and not get Bella killed by being stupid or something! =-D OOOOOORRRRR do we want the Bells to die?? I Hummmkm... Well, I've got some things to think about while showering, now, eh? Anyways, I'm gonna try and put up the next chapter TOMORROW!!! See if I can continue with this quick-paced-writing I'm trying out!

Oh, and, The Spirit of Gravity is an awesome short philosophy that no ones really figured out from _Thus Spake_ Zarathustra by_ Friedrich Nietzsche. _And I no one sue me for the cartoon references.


	15. You Love Her

**_A/N: _I did not edit.. Sorry...**

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**You Love Her**

"Owwwwwwwwwwwww," I cried angrily, siting up slowly, my back must have totaled a dozen tree in the last 10 seconds. "That was not nice, little girl," I screamed, jumping to my feet.

She was crouched, teeth bared, and roaring no more than five feet away from me. If you can imagine the devil's wife... She was that pissed off! I mean, I can see why, but I was more expecting this beating from Edward. Strangely, she stopped her snarling and stood very straight, face expressionless, her eyes closed. She looked really quite at peace, vulnerable.

Trying to gain the upper hand, I jumped forward to tackle her... only to end up face first in the snow-soggy-soil of the ground, just like the last time I had tried to take her down. She's so small, so of course she's fast. But, still, damn, she moved like Laurent. It was like the second I moved, she disappeared.

"Stop doing that," I growled, pushing myself achingly to my feet. That was useless... As soon as I stood, I was on the ground again, but only 10 feet away and laying on a heap branches. If I didn't get a grip, we're gonna end up clearing this whole forest, I thought. I was about to say it too, but then, it seemed she read my mind as my hair was gripped. As easily as if I as some kind of rope or wire, swung in a circle, mowing the pines with each loop.

When she finally let go, I flew... I could have mistaken it for flying until I hit a huge bolder. I couldn't even open my eyes or cry out before she was on my chest, punching my face rapidly... I just sat through this, waiting for her to take my head off, because, I had no doubt that was what she planned. Suddenly, she screamed and jumped back from me.

I looked at her raging expression, confused.

"Fight," she growled. "Get up and fight me!"

I thought about it... Looked for one way I could win this, but found nothing. She was stronger, had a talent I wasn't aware of, and was more angrier than I could ever fend off by myself. Ugh. I hate fighting vampires! I sat up, slowly, treading carefully to a comfortable position, and then lifted my hands above my head in surrender, shaking my head.

"No, thank you," I said, surprised how timid I sounded. I was really afraid for my life, even though I didn't really think of it's demise as a surprise - I knew it would lead up to this the moment I decided to kill Bella.

"No," she yelled, and kicked me in my stomach. "Fight! Now!"

"Why," I moaned, clutching my torso in pain. "You're just going to kill me."

She kicked me a few more times before dropping to the ground, sitting Indian style, arms crossed against her chest, and her face in a pout that at any other moment would have been adorable. Amazed, I just stared at her and repeated 'what the hell' over and over in my head.

"I really hate you," she fumed.

"Well, that's kinda obvious," I stated, pulling some twigs out of my hair.

She just glowered.

"So, where's Superman," I asked conversationally.

"Who," she asked, but before I could answer growled. I leaned away, not wanting another hit from the little demon. "He's..." she started to say through clenched teeth, but then trailed off, deciding. "He's around."

I nodded my head, slowly, not really caring. "So, is it him we're waiting for? Want to give your buddy the chance to pick me apart?"

She was silent, her fist clenched, and then, reluctantly, she said, "No... He doesn't even know she went missing."

I looked at her incredulously, but then chuckled. "He really did leave her, eh?" As soon as I said it, I wanted her to punch me. _That means he not coming for her,_ I thought. _That means he doesn't want her... She's unwanted?? _I couldn't fathom Bella unwanted, unneeded. "That son of a-"

"He left her to protect her!" Alice roared.

I gazed at her sharply. "Then why isn't he here? What if I killed her, huh? What if someone else hurt her? How did him leaving protect her? All he did was hurt her!! Left her broken and torn and alone and most of all, unprotected!! You all left her, destroyed her!! She wanted me to kill her! Did you know that? It's sick what he did, how he played with her. I don't care what his intentions were! That evil baster doesn't deserve her!"

I started off in a even voice but it rose as I spoke, until I was standing and yelling at her. She just sat there, her eyes glaring at my shoes.

"And you think you do," she said lowly, moving her eyes up me hatefully until she found mine.

I looked back at her, baffled. Could she know the relationship Bella and I lead, I asked myself a little fearfully. If so, how could she? "What do you mean by that," I asked her, keeping my voice and face drained of any emotion.

She got to her feet. She was so, so small. "I know all about you and Bella..."

I kept my stance the same, not giving anything away - I didn't know if Bella would want that. "What do you know?"

A small smile hit in the corner of her thin white lips. "The question is... What do I not know?"

"That's not an answer."

She walked closer to me, stood on her tippy toes, leaned in and whispered, "You love her."

I back away, appalled. "I do not!"

She looked at me, her eyebrows raised high before she shrugged and turned and started to walk.

"Where are you going," I called after her, following.

"To go get, Bella. You've had her long enough. There's not much reason for her to stay. It's not like you want her."

I stopped in my steps, frozen with fear: Bella was going to be taken away from me **now**? I wouldn't be able to touch her tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to hold her close to me while her eyes begged for kisses... No more brown... I knew she would leave me, but I wasn't ready to let her go. Just not yet.

"Wait," I cried, but Alice was no where in sight. I ran after her scent. She was a few seconds into the forest, standing, like she was waiting for me, hand on her hip.

"What," she asked, strong irritation bubbling in her words.

"Does Edward know... I mean, does he even still love her?" I asked, gently, not wanting to frustrate her and also to get an answer.

She sighed and looked down. "He loves her more than anyone can comprehend...Ever since he left her(which he did out of love), he's been torturing himself. He's been at constant war with himself, fighting to stay away, to keep the dangers of Vampires out of her life, fighting to give her all she couldn't have if he stayed.

"So, I didn't tell him of you and Bella. I couldn't hurt him. I didn't even know she was missing until you two first kissed. He told me to block her out, and I did... But that broke through. If I knew sooner, before you guys got..." she paused, searching for a word that fit,"'comfortable' with each other, I would have come, killed you, and forced Edward to come back to her, for both her and his health. The two apart is such a sad story to watch..."

She looked up at me, her hateful expression returning as acid dripped from her words. "The reason you not dead now, Victoria, is because Bella cares about you. She wouldn't like it very much... I don't know why... You're absolutely pathetic! I wish I would kill you, and then you and James can burn in hell together!"

I clenched my fist and hissed, but did not make any move that would suggest attack. I really didn't want to fight her again.

"Yeah," she said in a humorless laugh. "That's what I thought." She turned away from me and continued her path to Bella.

I was about to stop her when she twirled around and spat, "I'm taking her because there is no reason for her to be here. You don't want her. You don't love her. And, well, I don't know when or if Eward is coming back, but I'd rather him not discover this little affair. I'll just watch over her, take care of her until she needs other wise. She has a life away from the cabin you keep her couped up in. She has a family, friends, and she'll have my family. She should get back–"

"I need her," I said quietly.

"What," she snarled. "You think I care... It's not about you, Victoria. It's about Bella."

"No," I said a little more sternly. "I mean, she needs me too. We're helping each other... Taking care of each other."

Her face fell of any expression. "I know, but she needs to get away from here... You can't keep her here. You won't! I'm taking her, you can't stop me."

With that, she was off, on her way to taking Bella away from me.

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_**A/N:**_ Yeah, yeah, yeah more drama is on the way! Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapters! I loved them! I all but squeal when I open my email to see all the beautiful [FF Review Alert] hilighted in yellow, decorating my mail box! =-D I love ya'll much for those!


	16. Probably

**_A/N:_** I didn't** edit**!!!!!!!

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**Probably**

If the world were to fall away, I would not have known it:

Everything in that moment was desolate or somewhere else in my consciousness. _Gone? Really? Bella? No more Bella? _I was beyond panic, beyond denial, and just stuck in utter confusion. Not having her was something I just couldn't fathom. It was fiction in my mind; something like a dream(if I could dream). Although I knew this fate many days before it's arrival, I just couldn't put it with reality when reality hit. She could leave me, but not yet... I was not ready for her to go.

"_She's your remedy."_ That's what Laurent had told me. It seemed more true than ever. I needed her: She was my mother, my friend, my teacher, my lover, my home, my everything... Where do you go when there is no where to go?

And so I was crystallized in time, frozen in existence. My body could move, for it did – a painless slip to the ground. As the I laid there, unaware of anything, of everything, I saw the possibility of what I claimed impossible. I saw the lie I had told so well to everyone, including myself. I did love this human.

I was unsure of what kind of love it was. In all my years, I had not had much experience with the word. Was I in love? Was I simply and plainly and painfully and resentfully in love with the brown eyed angel?

No. I was not. I never could be.

I did, however, passionately and wholly and irreversibly love her in a way I could never imagine. I could admit it then, laying on the hard ground, absent from the motion of things. It was clear, positive, and inconsequential, and too late to make a difference.

There was nothing left to do but to reflect on the precious thing that left me... That was leaving me... _She's probably so far away_, I thought to myself, emptily. W_ait... 'probably'?? That's not very certain... _

Then, a hope formed in me out pure desperation. What if she was still there, waiting for me... Maybe she wanted to say goodbye. We had that level of companionship. Fearfully, I opened eyes that I didn't really know where shut, jumping back into the revolution of the Earth. I was covered in snow. The sun shone with effort as the thin clouds lightly glazed, the sky, making a sheet that filtered it's rays into nothing, making everything seem illuminated with the reflection of the freshly fallen snow. Everything glistened dully, except me.

How long I had been laying, I didn't know, for it seemed as if I had just woken from a type of sleep in a completely different area that I had fell traced in. I didn't really care to try and solve the puzzle, and threw my body into the goal, reaching a speed that made me dizzy and exaggerated.

"Bella, please," I heard James' first get-away prey say in her high pitch voice when I entered the vicinity of the cabin and stopped right before I reached the porch. "I understand -"

"No," I heard Bella's sweet voice say passionately. Unmeasurable relief sweep over my body like wind – softly washing away my knowledge wight. "You really can't, Alice. Has Jasper ever left you?"

There was a long silence, and then Bella continued. "Of course not, so you can not understand. I have no where to go, Alice, no where to be. I don't care if that's selfish! I don't want to go back... I'm... content here."

"Bella," Alice sighed. "What are you moving forward with? What do you see in the future?"

"Why are you asking me?" she sounded crossly. "Your the master in that area?"

"No. I mean, in the morning, when you wake up to the day? What do you see in the way you're carrying on here?"

"I see," Bella began, but then paused with hesitation.

"Exactly, Bella. There's nothing here for you to-

"I see Victoria," I heard the gentle voice croak shyly.

"Bella," Alice said in a demeaning tone.

The wooden floors ache with a sudden shift in weight. "I see Victoria." Her voice was stronger this time, almost angry.

As if I was yanked by a chain, my body pulled me in into the cabin where Alice sat on the leather couch, looking searchingly at Bella, who stood, face pink and shadowed in frustration. She didn't see me the haze.

"Bella," I breathed, acknowledging myself.

Her head snapped in my direction. Alice just keep Bella in her gaze, acting as if I weren't there.

"Bella," Alice spoke, "are you saying that here is where you want to say?"

Bella, who's face had fell of any emotion, looked back to Alice and then back to me. As soon as she could see me coming, I walked hastily, the speed was surprisingly human, across the space that separated us, and put may hands on each side of her smooth face. I looked into her wide eyes for a moment, seeing myself in them, and then brought my lips to hers.

I don't think it was a kiss we shared. It was too... I don't know how to explain it. She was all I needed. I was giving her all I had, all I needed to give. Searing wounds that had been closed or rippling wide open with a raging, painful fire, and then cooling, healing ice as our tongues eventually found each others in the never ending well that was our connection. They played together in a dance, in perfect rhythm. The harmony they kept up broke down every barrier off my being, ripping me apart to only sow me together.

When her heart, our music, skipped a beat, I pulled away from her, but did not release her face from my grasp, nor did she unwind her hands from my hair. I listened to her pant as I slowly left light kisses all over her face. When the tears fell, I kissed them away, whispering my pleads over and over again, "Please, don't leave me. Don't go, Bella. I need you. Don't leave me yet. I love you – that's why I care. That's why I care, Bella. Please, just stay with me a little while. Just a little while. I need you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Just stay a little while."

She just nodded, more tears falling, whimpering 'yes' while I begged. She brought her lips up to my trembling ones and kissed me again, not with as much pace as the last one, but enough to convey that she wouldn't be walking away that day. When we both decided it was okay to pull away, she slid her fingers out of my hair, down my back, and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. I brought her head to my shoulder, which she rested against gratefully, hiccuping.

Alice, who I guess watched the whole displace, just stared at Bella, her face pained. Fluidly, she stood and walked out the front door in what would have seemed a blur to Bella. When Bella noticed her departure, she started to cry jaggedly.

"I've chosen," she cried. "I chose you over, Edward. Alice will never forgive me. He'll never forgive me."

"Shhh," I soothed, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

She only cried harder.

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**_A/N:_** Yeah... So that was obviously gonna happen. Oh, hey, puppets, I am not gonna be able to post anything for awhile(a week or so) **AFTER TOMORROW**... I will be moved into my new house, and because Houston is gay, it will probably take forever for them to get the internet set up! And I've got to get used to this new laptop I'm using... The key's are killing me - they're so freakin' flat. Anyhoo, I'll try and write more 'morrow, 'kay?

Thanks for the views and the awesome people who review!! You guys are the updity shizzzz, the biggest reason I am still writing this little/long story. =D


	17. Brownies

_** A/N**_ Okay, darlings, this chapter was looked over by me and corrected by Palistus who has gone and done the awesome: He applied to be my beat reader. Now, the sweetness of writing is that much sweeter! Thank you, thank you Palistus, you're making this feel all official and what not. =-D

Enjoy!

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** Brownies**

2 eggs: check

¼ cup of water: check

½ cup of Vegetable oil: check

50 strokes: check

Greased bottom: check

Preheat oven 350°F: check

27-30 minutes: check

Where did I go wrong, I thought. The brownies were sloppy and looked almost exactly like they did when I put them in 30 minutes earlier!! Bella was in the bedroom she always slept in, fast in the grasp of dreams that hadn't taunted her for weeks. I just wanted to make her brownies!! I just want to make her happy, but the stupid oven was broken. I stared at the groggy batter, trying to figure out where I went wrong.

I heard the light pat of boots walking into the large open room that the kitchen, dinning room, and living room all shared. "Victoria," she yawned and made the short distance over to the kitchen.

"Well, good evening, precious. Is it that cold," I asked, frowning.

She smiled weakly, wrapped the blanket she held around her tighter, and nodded.

The heater had broke last night, I guess it froze over or something. Global warming was seriously becoming a pain in the ass with my human... girlfriend...? on my arm. I didn't touch her all night, in fear I may add to the weather. It was a long night, I wanted so badly to hold her through her tossing and turning. I couldn't stand to watch it any longer and decided to go make the brownies I had seen her buy a week back. It was going well until I put it in the oven.

She was looking around the kitchen, at the counters that held the ingredients needed for the brownie mix. "What ya doin', V," she asked, looking over my shoulder, grinning(making my day).

I turned from her, reluctantly picked up the pan full of the muddy batter, and gave it too her. She looked at it with an amused expression. I rolled my eyes and tossed the pan onto the stove, embarrassed.

"I put everything the box told me," I whined, throwing my hands in the air. "I think the oven is broken... I just wanted to make you brownies." I turned back to her and cupped her cheek. She shivered. "You were so sad yesterday. I know that they say girls like sweet things when they're sad, so I thought..." I motioned frustratingly to the brownies with my middle finger(flicking it off), and then turned back to her. "Yeah, it just didn't go well. I'm sorry."

Her lips quivered with amusement, but she reach up and kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

Then went to the stove and looked at the brownies. Her fingers touched the thick, sticky surface, and then, turning on the oven, she opened it, and sighed at the heat that I guess it was producing. Then took the brownies from the stove and put them in the oven. She let it linger open a few moments, her hands outstretched forward, before closing it. She turned back to me and started to giggle.

"The oven isn't broken, V. The pan is just big and all ovens behave differently, so it needs to cook twice as long as the box recommends," she said with an air of pride.

My vanity was a little disturbed, but I replied playfully, rustling her hair. "Yeah, whatever. The human knows how to cook – big surprise. You want a cookie?"

She frowned, stuck her tongue out, but then laughed.

I turned away, pretending to be angry, stalked off into the living room, and plopped down on the couch. She plopped down next to me, with a mask of apology on her small features.

"Aww, is someone grumpy?" she cooed in a low voice someone might talk to a small child with, while petting my head. "Did I hurt the big, bad wolfs feelings??"

I nodded and stuck out my lip.

She giggled and curled up into my unresponsive arms. "Oh, please forgive me, V. I am terribly sorry. If you wish, you can punish me."

The look on her face was... just beautiful!! I mean, her dark eyes, turning darker, humming dark thoughts was... Oh! I don't think you can comprehend or even handle the sexiness she displayed.

I pulled her into my lap, wrapped the blanket around both or use, and crushed her lips to mine. Suddenly, she started to laugh hysterically. I pulled away from her, confused. She was gripping my hands that gripped her by the waist, trying to wiggle away.

"Sorry," she giggled. "You tickled me."

The word seemed foreign to me for a second, but then I remembered. A bright light went up as an idea came to me.

"No, no, no, you better not," she said, eyes wide and shaking her head.

She jumped up, tried to make a run for it, but growling, I pulled her back down to the couch, laying her lengthwise. I attacked her sides, softly but with enough pressure to get the effect I wished. She laughed and laughed, kicked and punched, screaming useless begs. When she was red and gasping profoundly for breath, I stopped.

She laid there, eyes closed, and breathing heavily for a few minutes. Then snapped up with a fury, and slapped me across the face. At that, I burst out in laughter. It felt as if I had been tapped, but I saw how much strength she really put into it. And, the inexpedience of it was just a shock.

"Shut up," she chimed. "You could have killed me. You merciless jerk."

"Isn't that kind of a constant accusation, Bella?" I asked, attempting seriousness, but failed miserably, falling back into my laughter.

"Never do that again? That was completely unfair!" She sat fuming, her arms crossed, and face almost near tears in frustration.

"Oh, my God," I chuckled in astonishment. "Your actually mad?"

She glared at me like 'no, duh'.

I don't know why but I just found this so funny, doubling my amusement. Chuckling, I leaned down - over her – and kissed sorry up and down her neck. She didn't move, so I brought my lips lower and lower and lower. No matter what I told her(and I told her some pretty rated R things), or where I kissed her, she did not move. It wasn't until I had kissed my way all the way down to the top of her pants that I slowed my pace. I pulled up her shirt, exposing her flat, smooth stomach, and rested my head upon it's warmth. Well, it felt warm to me. She was freezing. Shivers convulsed through her, as her shudder-y breathing hiked with the contact of my skin against her stomach.

"So do you forgive me yet?" I breathed, tickling her. I watched it prickle with pride.

"Nope," she almost moaned and squirmed under me.

I ran my hands up and down the side of her the side of her leg – hip to thigh to knee to feet and them up again. I lifted my head and saw the little dots poking out from under her thin shirt.

"It really is cold in here, isn't it." I walked my hands up her chest, and taped the little protruding beads.

She moan openly this time. "You only know that because I listened to the whole no bra thing you kept running on about."

"Well, I'm glad you did," I laughed, and than began to kiss her stomach all over, making her shiver hard with each press of my lips, until I reached the precipice of her panties. The blue just barely rimmed above her pants. I undid her jeans and continued to kiss down, slowly, making each kiss last cruelly long. I grabbed the top of Bella's pants and yanked them roughly off her, throwing them... somewhere.

Her whole body was just a mass with goosebumps, now. The scent and heat that rolled off her was the definition of amazing. I spread Bella's already open legs wider as I continued up and then down the small slop of Bella and reached the spot that made her moan and lift her hips.

And then, of course, a loud beeping went off in the kitchen. Bella jumped, startled, and then got up and ran to the kitchen... The most beautiful thing: she was only in her underwear.

She opened the smoking oven, waving her hand in font of her, trying to clear the smoke away from her vision. She turned the oven off, and went to the sink. She wet a hand towel and wrapped a dry one around it. I watch curiously, as she bent down(another beautiful sight) and took the burning brownies out, and dropped them into the skin, running water over them immediately. It sizzled with more smoke and defiance, forcing Bella, who began to cough out of the kitchen. She jogged to the front door, opened it, and took deep breaths.

Her heart was beating so hard but didn't sound at all like it would or even could break. I picked up the blanket, walked to her, and placed it around her violently shivering body. Wrapping my arms around her waist, kissing her hair proudly.

"Thanks for the help," she hissed, but leaned on me.

"You seemed like you had it all together, and besides, I'm fearful of fire. It's as easily lethal to me as it is for you, you know."

"I do know that, so if you tickle me like that again, I'm setting a match to you," she threatened.

She sighed and just continued to shiver in silence, waiting for the smoke to clear out the cabin.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, knowing a there are probably 50 possible answers.

She looked up at me and kissed my mouth. "I really hate the cold," she said quickly after pulling away.

"Let's leave then," I said shortly. "Go get whatever and we'll leave."

She gazed at me incredulously. "Your serious?"

I looked around. Did I seem otherwise. "Uh, yeah. You don't like it, so we leave. Your no longer my prisoner, Bella... Unless you want to be."

She didn't laugh, like I hoped she would. Instead, her eyes swelled with tears(of course) as she wrapped her blanket bundled arms around me.

"So, I take it you want to go then?" I laughed.

She nodded and together we walked back inside for the last time.

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I hope you like it. I don't know when I'm gonna be able to get the next chapter written or even up. Hopefully, with the grace of haste, my internet will be live and kicking soon, or I'll try and jack the neighbors or something... There is always school... Anyways, yeah...


	18. Copping

_**A/N:**_ Yeah, so I have not many excuses as to why this is soooooo late, but, I do have one I hope you can understand... I have like this massive roadblock in my brain: **_WRITERS BLOCK_** they call it... And I've been kind of devoting all my time to music, and it seems only then can I write. Other than songs, I am brain dead with words... So... This chapter is going to be quite **dull**... Sorry... Hopefully, I'll snap out of it soon.

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**_Copping _**

"Hey, hey, Bella," I cooed, rubbing the sweat from her forehead, trying to wake her. She had been tossing and turning the whole night, dreaming things that I suppose I couldn't fathom.

She tossed her head from side to side slowly and opened her eyes, waking with much effort. Her heart was running a marathon as she shot up in the bed. She looked around the room with wide eyes. When she found me, her eyes got wider, and she scooted away from me. I frowned and got out of the bed, giving her the room her frightened mind wanted.

"It's alright," I said slowly. Her face was sheen with the struggle of the night, or maybe it was the blaring heat of California.

Bella put her head in her hands and cried quite hysterically. I let her with patience - I stood my distance for what may have been five minutes.

"Oh, Victoria," she wailed, the most pleading expression on her face as she spread her arms out for me to retrieve her.

In retrospect, it was clear what she wished from me. I fled to her awaiting arms, and picked her up much like you would pick up a toddler: I supported her from her bottom and held her to my hip; she wrapped her legs around my waist, tucked her face into my shoulder, and weep into my hair. I just stood, walking her about the apartment which was already modernly furnished when we rented it.

This was almost a nightly thing. We had only been in California for about a week, and ever since we got here, Bella had been having frightening dreams. Every night, I had vicariously lived her nightmares for she did as she always had: mumbled many things which she saw behind closed lids.

It was about Edward...

It was about 10 minutes of walking and rocking her before she calmed down. She hiccuped and kissed me from the base of my throat up to my ear which she breathed "Thank you" into. I went back over to the king sized bed embellished with a blue comforter and with black sheets. I laid us down, keeping her to close to my body, and lightly stroked her hair.

"Are you okay," I whispered, pulling the fallen locks from her face, to look into her oh so brown and raw eyes.

She smiled sincerely. "Very," she hummed, twirling her fingers in my hair, making ringlets in the perfect texture.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, hum" I suggested, kissing her forehead. It was 3:00 in the morning. "It's late still. You've only slept for about 3 hours, not nearly enough for one as _fragile_ as you." I tugged on her ear.

She giggled but shook her head. "No. Not right now... Lets just... I don't know..." She paused for a second, but then picked up her head from my chest, and I could see her skin was flavored with blood, a deep blush. "Let's just make out or something."

She tilted her head to kiss me, but I turned away. She looked at me disappointed and curious.

"Not now, B." I said sadly, disappointing myself. "That's all you've want to do after these dreams. You need to find a healthier way of coping with this than kissing me."

She rolled her eyes and pushed herself off of me; jumped out of bed and walked angrily down the stairs of the modern loft that was this apartment, and into the living room that was laid out very openly. I followed her, confused. I hoped over the railing that held the second floor and landed softly in front of Bella, causing her to nearly fall over with surprise.

She glared at me with such despondency it hurt me like someone had just slapped me. She moved around me, like a car around a bend - with deliberate slowness and caution, careful to not let any part of her touch me. She walked into the kitchen, opened the two door fridge, and grabbed the carton of orange juice, and drank straight from the carton. I just watch in awe - never had she act so shrewd.

When she was done, she put the top on and threw the bottle at me. I froze in shock as it speed weakly past me, crashing into the wall behind me, only a few inches off it's target. She frowned and picked up a glass that sat in the sink across from where she stood and chucked that at me too. I was hit this time, and I was still dumbfounded with the play. I couldn't comprehend how she was reacting at all. As the glass exploded around me like a firework, sending chunks into my hair.

"WHAT THE HELL," I screamed, finally able to react. I fly over to her, and impetuously pushed her lightly(but with enough force for her to feel some kind of pain) up against the fridge, and growled in her face. "What is your problem," I yelled, cupping her face in my hands, forcing her to look into my face.

She smiled evilly and brought her lips to mine. I staggered back, completely taken off guard. "Oh, my god," I panted. "What is with you?!"

She shrugged and calmly rubbing her shoulders, walked into the living room and slid on to the couch lethargically.

"I think I'm a bad influence on you," I muttered, following her suspiciously.

She smiled grimly as I sat down next to her heavy form, making sure to put at least a foot between us. It was quiet for an unmeasurable amount of time. I picked the pieces of glass out of my hair and put them in a neat pile on the end table closest to me.

"Sooooo," I said, braking the quite. "What the hell was that?"

"You said I needed to find a new way to cope, and I did," she said simply, nothing but confidence in her answer. She had changed so much in the past 3 and a half months. She was practically a different person. Where did the timid, constantly red faced girl I met go... I missed her.

"Bella I'm not much of a scrupulous person, but I suggest you find a calmer way to umm... express yourself, like maybe, you know... Talking to me about it! Instead of trying to attack my mouth or my body with objects randomly, why don't you give me a little insight on this... strain you seem to be under. Have I brought this out of you? Are you pmsing or something?"

She sighed and let her body fall on to the couch, her head landing in my lap. She shivered for a second, but that sighed again.

"I think Edward is haunting me..." The sentence was serious but also facetious. It took much will to squelch my humor.

"How so," I asked zealot-ly.

"If..." She paused. I could tell this was quite hard for her to say. "If I do something not me or dangerous, I hear him... He says stuff like: "don't be stupid" "stop" "no" "your ridiculous". Statements I can't argue with..."

I looked at her with utter concern now. Was she trying to tell me she was going insane?

"That doesn't sound healthy," I tried to say nonchalantly, but my worry leaked past my act as my voice wavered a bit.

"Yeah... I don't think it is either," she agreed wholeheartedly. Then she looked me deep in my eyes. She reached up and touched the side of my face, closed her eyes, and began to stroke it. "So smooth," she sighed. A few moments of the absence of talking went by until she spoke again, her eyes still closed, her fingers still on my face, but now tracing my lips.

"I always think about him," she in a matter-of-fact tone. "I still hurt for him. I want him to hold me at night. I want to see his face more than I can ever express... There's nothing I wouldn't give to go back in time... besides you. Not you, not just yet."

The whole time, up until the very end, my heart seared but not in such a painful way that I wished to cry, but in a way that I had already accepted the pain and welcomed it as one might the darkness of night.

I grinned, abashed. "Very sweet and sentimental, Bella," I said jokingly.

She giggled and inanely stuck out her tongue. "Your mom, okay, your mom."

"Whatever, little girl. Now, tell me: Paper or plastic?"

She looked at me oddly, but answered. "Paper... I guess..."

"Then I will have to make a run out. We're getting pretty broke and I want to go get out of this loft tonight... We can go see a movie or to the mall. Girls like to do that, right?"

She looked at me like she always did when it can to this difference between us, this truth about how we are maintaining life. But, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let it go, opening her eyes, giving me the green light.

I joyously kissed her very responsive lips, before sliding out from under her head, and hurrying excitedly out the door. It had been a whole week since I had last hunted and in L.A. there is so much to chose from.

"Be kind," I heard Bella whisper begged me as I exited the room and entered my rough, rouge nature.

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_**A/N:**_

I just want to say... I hope I haven't killed the whole story with this extremely boring and useless chapter. Words have just been gone from me lately. I just feel so much pressure to post at least one up... Anyways, **drama **is on the way, I think, so prepare yourself! Umm and I am so freaking pleased with my traffic.... I get more than 20 hits a day... Oh, it's like better than fruity pebbles to me! Thank you for all who have read, put up with my writing moods, and reviewed on the last chapter.

~Edit~


	19. The Ultimate Architecture of Beauty

_**A/N****: ****Now it's edited by dude who reeks of awesomeness!!  
**_

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**Palistus note: Show respect for this awesome author! She works hard and writes great things, -Blaze, AKA her editor.**

What was a day to her? Hours? The end of sunlight? The beginning of darkness? Should we measure it like that, or by the rise and fall of a young star, a full rotation of the lucky planet we live on? Can it be so logical? Or is it much deeper in the human heart? When does a day to one person, one girl truly come to a complete and utter **end**. It can't be something so abrupt as a simple 1440 minutes, can it...?

I don't think it is so easy. I think Bella had been on the same day for months. "The Day" we should dub it with as much respect as resent. But every day must come to an end, and I was so lucky as to be there when it finally and thankfully closed.

"Come on, little human girl with hair that seriously needs a brush, get up! I'm back," I was shaking the deep sleeping Bella, who was oddly spread out on the floor next to the couch - I guessed she had rolled off.

"Bella, get up! I'm bored!" I nudged her with my foot lightly. She just made a small gesture with her eyebrows.

Jittery from my meals, I was lacking patience in a giddy way. I went into the small, neat bathroom that was to the left of the blue counter topped kitchen that was bigger than the upstairs bedroom. This place was so open. The only area with closed walls and a door was the bathroom! Anyways, I turned on the glass, enclosed shower, making sure the water was very cold, all the while thinking to myself with a snicker: _She is not going to like this._

I went back to the spot she laid, and smiled: her hair seemed like it had just seen past the eye of a hurricane. She slept as soundlessly as the dead. If it weren't for the light patters of her heart and the little whispers of her breath, I could have mistaken her for dead. I considered letting her sleep a few more hours, but I want what I wanted, and would have it selfishly and shameless.

I leaned down and scooped up Her Majesty gingerly. She made no protests to the movement other than a little twitch on lips. I cradled her in my arms like one might a baby - supporting her so completely. I walked smoothly, as I always do, to the bathroom that held the ready shower. I took one last look at Bella and then all but dropped her under the running shower head.

The first reaction I got from her was a gasp that turned into a jumping scream, that turned into yelling as she saw me gripping the white sink, choking on amusement at the phases I had just seen her little face go through.

"Ahhh," she shouted, trying to stand up but kept slipping. She was completely drenched now. Her baggy close stuck to her shape like latex. All her hair was hanging, black with water, in the front of her face like some demon child from a horror movie.

"You need some help?" I asked through chuckles, going over to her.

"I'm going to kill you," she screamed, throwing the hair conditioning bottle at me as I approached. I laughed harder, but continued my pursuit. I turned the water off first, not wanting to get myself wet, than took a green towel that hung near the entry of the shower, wrapped it around her shoulders, and went to pick her up, but she slapped at my hands angrily.

"I'll get up myself!"

And she did. She walked herself in a shuddering rage, out the bathroom, past the living room, and up the stairs to the closet near the bed.

"Bella, c'mon," I begged, hopping she could see the funny in my actions. I walked over to her, she stepped back, throwing the towel in my face.

"Why'd the water have to be so freaking cold, you jerk!" she snarled, pulling her shirt over her head, and throwing the wet cloth at my face.

That actually ticked me off. It was a joke and she was taking it so seriously - such a girl, I thought.

"Bella, you're acting immaturely," I accused. Tossing the shirt back at her while she pulled her soaked sweatpants off.

"Me," she whipped around, pushing her hair out of her face. "You put me in cold ass water!" She paused to picked up the two dripping articles. "Excuse me if I'm a little pissed off!" She threw the clothes at me again, and stormed past me, in only a red bra and black panties, the clean, dry clothes she had still hanging in the closet. I watch curiously as she stomped down the stairs shivering.

I looked back at the closet and then to her, becoming increasingly humored with every passing second. She was actually furious, so furious in fact she had forgotten to dress... Well, that was my theory. Trying not to laugh, I pulled the blanket from the bed, and went down stairs.

Bella was, like always after arguments, in the kitchen, hidden in the large door of the fridge. I crept quietly to her, and like catching an alligator, threw the blanket around her shoulders, and pulled her into me by the waist in a snare she didn't have a chance of leaving. It wasn't necessary, she didn't struggle against my embrace but instead leaned into it.

"We're out of orange juice," she grumbled bitterly.

I kissed her cheek and rested my head on her shoulder, peering into the refrigerator with her. "It seems we are," I said with sarcastically. "What ever shall we do without orange juice, dear one?!"

She smacked her lips. "I hate milk."

"There's soda," I offered. Loosening my grip around her, one she could get out of when she pleased.

She gave a humorless 'Ha'. "If I drink any more of that, my kidneys will fall out."

I thought about it a moment. "It is your crack," I agreed.

She closed the door, and moped in my arms for a moment, before turning out of my body, and to the cabinet above the sink that sat right next to the stove, that sat crowded by the refrigerator to it's right. She pulled a small glass cup from the vastness of other glasses and cups, and put it under the sink, filling it with water.

She put the glass to her mouth, took a sip, did a cute judgment with her expression before downing the glass. I watched adoringly. The small things of humans where so interesting. Vampires are just so still and perfect... They don't stumbled or think sluggishly or do the "_Darndest Things_".

She put the cup under the faucet once more, filling it to the brim. Than, turning to me with the sweetest smile, splashed the liquid into my face, making sure not a drop was left. I stood there, blinking water out of my eyes like tears. She just watched me, biting her lip, her beautiful brown eyes bright and wide, a small dimple in the corner of her mouth. When she couldn't hold it anymore, she burst into flurry of giggles, gripping her stomach and sinking to the floor dramatically, sitting up against the sink cabinets.

I slipped to the floor after her, drying my face off with part of the blanket that was slipping off her as the tremors of laughter ran its course, making her face red and her eyes water.

"You should have seen your face," she said when she was able to, whipping her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," I said nonchalantly. "I'm sure it was epic."

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Do you still like me?"

"Maybe..." I sighed, turning my gaze to the large white fan that spun above the living room.

She watched me seriously for a long time, a worried expression, but I smiled reassuringly, keeping my eyes on the fan.

She jumped up, the blanket completely off her. The morning sunlight that was creeping in caught the object of her pale skin, making her glow like a petal of a lily. Her messy hair that was still wet was glistening under the wide rays. Her half naked body looked so small and fragile, but powerful and dangerous with a will that I knew lied beneath it's surface.

It was only a moment she stood there, but in that moment I saw the ultimate architecture of beauty.

"Can we go somewhere?" she asked, putting her hands above her head and stretching. "We hardly ever go anywhere..."

I stood up and lightly poked her in the stomach. "Only if we do something with that," I begged, tugging on one of the knots in her hair.

She frowned. "That's gonna take forever," she complained.

"Not if I do it," I said suggested.

Her eyebrows went up and together as she shook her head. "I don't think so... I wont have hair if I let you come near this," she said running her hands through her hair, only to get them caught. "Yeah... This is gonna take a lot of conditioner."

She walked past me, still trying to get her fingers out of her hair. I followed her into the bathroom, grinning. As soon as we were in the bathroom, I was already naked. She turned to me, and gazed lustfully.

"Hey, hey," I snapped, getting her attention to my face. "I'm up here, B...! Now, keep your hands to yourself - it's just a shower."

Her face fell slightly, but she just shrugged, and started to undress. I went to the shower, turned it on, and asked her if she approved, which she did. Together, we organized every hair on her head, and had her body all but squeaking with cleanness. It was such an innocent thing we where doing, I felt like a child.

When we were out and dressed, I laid down on the couch luxuriously - the wonderful smell of strawberry filled the air, blurring out the smog of the city.

"Soooo, where are we going today?" She asked, her mouth full with cereal.

"I was thinking a mall, than a movie, and then dinner." I had looked up a map of the area at the house of a family I killed that morning, and knew where everything was. Making sure everywhere I had in mind had an awning, a parking garage, and a not many windows.

"Sounds cool," she said simply and then shoved another spoon full of food in her mouth before she could say anything else.

I sat up alert. "What's wrong," I sighed.

She didn't look at me as she shook her head in a horrible attempt at acting.

"What is it?! Tell me or I'll tickle you," I warned.

She looked at me with wide eyes, before caving: "It's just that... I know if we go somewhere really public... there will be guys all over you!"

I rolled my eyes and laid back down. "Don't worry about that. I'm a vampire, remember? People have an innate sense to say away from me... Well, everyone but you it seems, but that's because you're a freak."

I heard her make an annoyed sound, but then a gleeful giggle.

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_**A/N:**_ Yeah... It took all day just to get this out of my fingers, but the good news is that words are starting to form for me again, just not as good as they used to. But, uh, yeah, the next chapter should be fun, and then its back to super drama.

Remember when I said this story is gonna be over soon, like a few chapters ago... That obviously didn't happen. I'm not saying the end is super close, but I've decided it. I just don't know how long it's gonna take to get there... Maybe another 4 or 6 chapters... I haven't a clue.

But thank you soooooooo much to the cool people who reviewed! I love it! It makes me shake what happiness and blush with pride! Thank you, thank you!


	20. Falling

_**A/N:**_ _Yeah… It's been awhile, but the reason is still the same: I have been owned by school and music lately! Schools over now, so I'll be able to balance music and writing better than I have… or haven't! It's been through my awesome editor, but because I'm G(stupid), I got another one just to keep things perfected or close to it. So, thank you to both__ Palistus__ and __Spirit Of The Pheonix__(she hasn't got to go over this yet, but when she does, I'll post it. It will be doubled with awesome smartness that way!). Anyways, enjoy!_

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Editor(Palistus) note for the public!: You're writing queen has returned, bow down faithful servants! As an update is here at last! My editing power is getting harder... The Queen is getting better at writing! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and hope that she doesn't edit this out... (Don't -Edit- this out...) XD

Surrounded by a ridiculous amount of people, waiting in a line to get tickets, I leaned down and whispered something that I don't remember into Bella's ear… And then the most miraculous thing happened! It was not what I whispered, it is what happened when she turned to me with that beautiful movement of her lips, something similar to falling, just a gentle pulling of gravity happened, I felt completely at peace with everything. I smiled back and in a metaphoric way; there was a snap that went off in the back of my skull and traveled down my spine. I was fixed, healed, free! The awful spell had broken. I beamed down at my

Every head in that line seemed to snap in our direction and stare obnoxiously at Bella and me. I mean, many of them were already gazing at the freakishly beautiful woman with strange eyes that I am, but these eyes where shamelessly indiscreet. I had never been so nervous before. I looked to Bella, expecting her face to be as red as mine would be if I had a mortal circulatory system, but her expression was not at all mortified. Her brow was up with amusement and attitude. She smiled up at me again, but this grin did not have the same effect as the previous one she had gave me.

I don't know who she was or had become, but she was packing more courage than the young girl I had met and the one I thought I knew. With a confident motion, she wrapped a warm hand tightly around my neck, pushed up on her toes, and brought her lips to my mouth. She kissed me with an exaggerated passion that either way was hot, and I responded to willingly.

I heard gasps and giggles, but the loudest one came from a teen boy who was in the confidence of his friends. "Yeah! Alright!!"

I pulled away from the kiss and chuckled. I hid in her hair, my head on her shoulder, catching unnecessary breath, trying to decide how to act when I open my eyes to the world. When I did, surprisingly all the faces had aborted their penetrating stares in defeat, probably feeling they intruded on something that deserved the right to privacy. God, I was thankful for the human conscience.

"That was fun," Bella giggled, her arm wrapped tightly and consciously around my waist. I don't know why, but it felt weird to have her so close at that moment. Maybe it was the crowd.

"You've gotten a bit scary, B." I spoke honestly.

"I know," she laughed, humored.

Thinking she took it as a joke, I rephrased in a more serious tone, so low no one could hear it but she, "No, Bella, you've gotten… uncharacteristically aggressive."

We moved forward in line. Her face became blank as she took one step. Looking up at me, she sighed. "I know."

We watch the movie, hand in hand, comfortable but restless. It was different in a way that was neither good nor bad. It was just… different. When the movie was over, so was the day. We had been about the town, keeping indoors, behind the tinted windows of the SUV, and under the safe shade of parking garages. About 40% of the time was spent laughing at the stupidest things. And the rest, besides the companionable silence at the theater was spent talking about things we liked and didn't. We spent about 2 hours in a music store, just showing each other music.

I schooled her on Bach, Beethoven, Pergolesi , Ella Fitzgerald, The Temptations, Johnny Cash, The Carpenters, and we both ran into a familiar knowledge – The Beatles. It made me sad that she didn't know anything about opera or broadway, but she was only eighteen. (**A/N:** I just realized that she was… I think I kept calling her 17 or something. Sorry. I only read the book once.) She showed me a few names I didn't know about and fell in love with: Damien Rice, Regina Spektor, Devotchka, Lisa Hannigan, and Imogen Heap. Out of all the stores we had been to, albums were the only thing we bought in the mall.

When we got back to the loft, we were laughing again. I threw the keys on the kitchen counter while she went and collapsed on the large couch, still giggling.

"Today was a workout," she yawned, putting her arms above her head in a childish show that was adorable, but not as beautiful as I remembered it. She was just a girl stretching… It was such an ordinary thing to see.

She flipped on the T.V. that sat a retarded distance away from the couch and watched SpongeBob. I, needing to remember something I had forgotten, prepared a bowl of strawberry ice cream she had bought at the store. I had learned that she like to have a bowl at the end of a day. Well, the past recent few days. The air was calm but buzzing with something other than her scent.

"Victoria, come here," she asked in a tone that I hadn't heard for so long, a soft, kind voice of the girl I had kidnapped .

I quickened my speed dramatically with the ice cream I was spooning out of the tube at a rate that was too slow for a human to watch patiently. I was on the couch, handing her the bowl bearly ten seconds after she had called.

She smiled a sweet smile and kissed my cheek. "Thanks."

She leaned against me, and turned her attention back to the cartoon character.

"This is a stupid show," I commented conversationally.

"It is, but it's oddly relaxing," she laughed. "I used to watch it whenever I was in a bad mood or stressed or something. It was my summer pastime when Edward would go hunting …" By the time she was finished, her voice was very low and tired.

"Any specific reason you're watching it now?," I asked curiously, and slightly pained.

She was silent for a moment before she turned to me and began stroke my cheek. "No," she sighed closing her eyes, tracing my lips. "It's just nice to remember a feeling."

"What feeling?," I asked lowly, hiding the full weight of my words.

"How it used to be…," she said simply, taking her hand away from my face, and putting all her attention back on the show with a sigh. "How I used to be."

She watched the show calmly; her head resting on my lap as my hand mindlessly stroked her hair. Every few minutes, there would be these sudden, quick sensations of the falling I had felt earlier that day. I closed my eyes through each one, trying to decide if I was hallucinating or having some spiritual movement they talk about in stories. I concluded it was neither, just the effects of something emotional and human.

SpongeBob went off, but Bella didn't move.

"Bella, you didn't even touch your icey nastiness. Are you feeling okay?" I asked concerned, she never turned down sweet anything if it was in front of her, which it was – melted and gross in a bowl that she had placed on the ground when she had moved the laying position she was in now.

"I don't like strawberries," she mumbled sleepily, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. I hadn't realized she was half sleep until after I asked, but inquisitively, I asked her another question:

"Why'd you get it then?"

In the smallest, practically unconscious voice, she breathed, "It was all the store had."

She was gone then, completely unaware of the hurt and understanding I was feeling with open arms.

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_**A/N:**_ _I'll try to update soon! I love the activity I have been getting in the absence of updates! If it weren't for those, I would probably lose my will for this story. Thanks to all who review and add and all that jazz! Now off to watch __The History of Sex__!_


	21. Should Have

_**A/N: **We're back to the drama, loves! _This surprisingly didn't take that long to write. Much love to Palistus for editing and exaggerated niceness!

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_Palistus Note:_ Enjoy! I feel special (: I got to fix a few things, and read this before ANY OF YOU! Haha.

I kept my eyes open as my hair dusted her frail, defined clavicles. I was leaning over her, and kissing her trebling lips while holding her tear stained face still from its tossing. It took a moment for her to wake from the obviously painful sleep she was riding. She opened her eyes. I began to pull away, but she pulled me back to her almost angrily. I followed willingly on top her. She held me so close as we laid in the soft bed.

We kissed each other with a force that was needy. No. Her passion was need... Mine was searching. I was seeking for why I was there, and why I was kissing Bella. I knew how it came to be, but I didn't know its meaning. And then I was "falling" again. I quickly pulled away from her, keeping my eyes closed - I didn't want this ruined by the infectious brown.

Suddenly, I wasn't falling. I was flying... LITERALLY!

I was tossed into the opposite side of the open apartment. That means over the bars of the upper level of the loft and into the tall wall that the downstairs T.V. sat against. I crashed into the sheet-rocked wall, indenting it. As Isaac Newton (**A/N:** Yeah, I'm such a nerd.) could predict, I bounced off of the wall and quaked the open floor of the living room, face first. I could hear things clattering in the apartment below ours. Familiarly, I didn't have much time to even blink before I was hitting another object: that innocently sitting T.V.

I was covered in glass as I was chucked like some sort of ball into the stainless steel of the refrigerator, and then, again, back into the T.V., completely leveling it this time. I rolled over, still in a ridiculous human-like shock. I looked around the room for my assaulter, but only saw a large silhouette blurring toward me with a black shade: a fist.

No one, not James, not Laurent, not even Alice pounded me like these fists had beaten me. It was kind of an epic moment in my life I wince thinking about now. The pain seared so many parts of my body as time droned on mercilessly. I was sure I would die, and the last thing I would hear is the roaring menace of my reaper.

It was such a sound. It held the thick, molten essence of hate, the pure fire of rage, the wildness of madness, and the heart tearing burn of agony. Somehow, her voice broke through in a cry of absolute desperation.

"EDWARD STOP!" It was a scream that seemed to echo through the world, splashing onto his skin with a horrific authority.

The pain had not wholly ceased, but did decrease massively - he had stopped hitting me. I opened my sore eyes and saw a broken vampire standing limply over me, looking in the direction of Bella's voice.

Then, the strangest, most sinful thing happened: I heard the crunch of Bella's approach on the surrounding glass sprinkled floor.

_  
I don't love you. I want him. I need him. _She had said these things so many times, reminded me almost every day we had been together. I could see it in her eyes, in her sleep. Why did she have to run to me...? Why! Why! Why!! Things could have been so much easier without that small action of companionship the gloriously human Bella I love had to make!

"Victoria," she cried, putting her hands on my surprisingly still beautiful, smooth face. There were no remains of the wrath he released other than the pain only I knew; only I had felt.

"Bella," a small broken voice whispered.

Bella was still, her face expressionless as her eyes filled with fat tears that spilled over her cheeks and onto mine... I could taste the salt. Finally, slowly, Bella turned like one about to face their end to Edward's almost swaying outline.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she let out in a sob.

She should have moved toward him. She should have wrapped her thin arms around him, and kissed him. Right there! Right then! Right in front of me! She **should have** completely lost herself in that **should have** been kiss, and forgotten my name the instant their lips **should have** collided. He would have taken her. She knew this! Where had her new aggression, new boldness gone when all of this "_should have_" was waiting to become a part of the past...?

No. Not Bella. She was prone to this! She had gravitation for danger, but with Edward's presence, that was doubled by a million. I mean... c'mon! What are the statistics of us just randomly choosing a direction to travel and randomly choosing a time to head in that direction and a random storm to blow through and the Cullens randomly deciding to play baseball? The opportunity Fate must see to make things as complicated and life threatening as possible when Edward and Bella are anywhere near each other. Ugh! Freaks!

In a motion only I could catch, Edward was gone. '_Gone_'... What does that word mean to Bella? After the return of Edward, it can't hold the same context as it did for me. James was _gone_, and nothing could change that. That is the denotation of the evil word. But to her... what did it mean then? Probably something like A Possible Chance To Blow like she did then. But it's okay.

The hard road was unintentional chosen, and that's the road we traveled. And, because we had each other, we had the strength.

_Ending Palistus Note: _Aww… A cliffhanger and I'm unsure what happened, if she is going to choose Edward (Ugh, please Edit… No, that pairing epic fails) or Victoria (please!) I think I already know the answer though.

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**_A/N:_** There to answer all of you who were like: _Where's Edward? Is Edward coming back?_ He's back! Anyhoo, the rest of the story is probably pretty predictable from this point onward. I'm not one for keeping things a mystery... Sorry.

School is over!! Yay! I'm going to 9th grade next year... I'm scared... It's not like I'm gonna be in your normal high school because I go to a private school, but I'm still afraid of the work! Anyhoo, hope you liked, and, like always, kisses and hugs to the sexy people that reviewed! Keeps me going!


	22. I Don't Want To Frolic

**A/N: **

**FIRST:** I have made a poll over who you think Bella should pick. It won't make much impact on how the story is gonna roll out... It may however sway the way of the fate of this quarrel.

-You may want _Edward_, but he's too much of an arss for Bella to want to go back to! Plus, Victoria is way cooler, and respects Bella. I mean, what person doesn't want a hot vampire man sneaking into their room at nigh to watch them sleep and possibly jerk off to the sound of their breathing? Invaded privacy is so romantic, right girls? *sarcasm* I also suspect that he's gay, or a liar! C'mon... 100 year old virgin my tush! Probably had an orgy with that freakishly "close" family of his!

-You may want _Victori__a_, but she's not Edward! She doesn't have a man part, nor does is she that attuned to Bella! And Victoria really has some violence issues she should go see a doctor for. Not to mention she's way more emotional than even Edward. AND she's like super self-centered: always 'me', 'I', 'me', 'I'! Everything she does is for herself and herself only! She'll probably just end up killing Bella, and run to Laurent like a little, needy, codependent girl woman that she is.

-You may want a different option... Something like: _Oth__er_. You may think Edward and Victoria are both cheap and that Bella at random should totally hook up with a different Cullen or Jacob or get all emo and put a gun to her head or get eaten or something that leads to her demise. Or, maybe she should grow up, and decided to leave all who want her behind with a special finger held high! That would make a mature end wouldn't it???

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**Now:**

Because I am a trophy for my school, I will not be able to give you any new chapters for about a week. Tomorrow I am to be shipped off to go frolic in the forest with a bunch of GIRLS!! My school chose the "well rounded students" to go to a leadership camp in the summer, and I was of that chosen lot. I tried to refuse it, but they sicked the sweetest lady on me - my Turkish teacher. =-(

God, have mercy on my soul! I am both bummed and excited! I really don't get along well with girls... or people in general, so I may end up coming back with a few deaths on my hands. On the other side of the balance, I love my Turkish teacher! She's the cutest! It's gonna be cool to hang with her and her accent. It's weird... I used to hate being around Turkish accents all day, and now that school is over... Their absence make me sad inside.

The brighter side is that I'll have a lot of free time on my hands to write and take pictures and stuff! I love nature, but it's not like I can be out in it much: I'm Heatstroke Girl who can't be in the sun's rays for more than an hour or two before she gets dehydrated, sick, and possibly has a seizure! This should be fun! *sarcasm* If I come back alive and manage not to kill anyone... You should have a few chapters posted... I hope! Pray that all actives are outside, under the sun so I don't have to actually do any!

Oh, and even cooler, I'm losing my voice! Wish me luck... PLEASE!!!!!!


	23. A Replacement

**_A Replacement_**

I was frozen in shock, staring at Bella with wide eyes, my mouth open with awe. Bella was somewhat in the same state as I was, but she looked... stiller. Her breath was as steady and calm as her heart beat. It all tied together made the softest whisper, you'd think she was sleeping. I glared at her for this, angry. After all she talked about, all the hell she gave me and herself, she just let that happen, and she didn't look the slightest bit frayed! What was wrong with her, the question blew up in my head, and out of my lips.

"Crap!," I whispered, looking around frustrated and jumping up. "Oh, crap, Bella! What the hell!" My voice was rising with each word. "Bella, what the hell have you done! Awww, crap! Merde, merde, merde, merde," I chanted pacing back and forth on in front of Bella, throwing my hands up with each repeat of the French swear word. "Merde, Bella! Crap! What were you thinking? This is so stupid!!" The glass crunched just as angrily under my feet, with the stress of my weight, but not Bella. She just continued to be still.

Completely livid with her, I crouched down to where she sat on the glass covered floor, and put my hands on each of her shoulders. "Bella! Hello, Bella," I said patronizingly, shaking her shoulders lightly. "Bella, can you please bring your ass back to the present! Edward is gone! He came for you and now he's gone! Again!"

That got her attention. Her eyes that were not really looking at anything blinked, and looked straight into my glaring gazed. Very humanly, her eyes filled with tears that they always did. Crying is never something new with her. I've seen it more times than I could ever try and count. Her eyes get very glossy until they leak from her eyes like rain from the sky, falling gracefully down her round cheeks, making them flush. Her nose turns this light red as her lips tremble, wrestling sobs.

It was really a beautiful sight, but most things painful are. It shows the honesty of things. As perfect and real as she looks in such a motion, it was still a sad sight for anyone, especially if you care for her. Completely for getting my anger, I no longer shook her by the shoulders, but rubbed them smoothly. She made no noise, other than the soft, hiccupping jumps in her breath.

"Bella," I whispered, putting my hands on each side of her face.

I was just about to say something when she sobbed brokenly, "Oh, my God."

Her head fell to her hands. She held herself, rocking back and forth. I watched as her back seemed to ripple with each wave of cries she released. I attempted to calm her, but my hands weren't soft enough to save her from each dive of sorrow. I was about to pick her up to hold her close to my body, but that is what I always did. Bella needed to feel this.

I pulled myself to my feet and stormed out of the front door, leaving her to deal with the hurt alone.

_I mean, it was her decision! It's not my fault, _I thought. _Why do I have to save her? I can hardly keep myself as it is! She could have avoided everything from the very beginning. She decided to love Edward instead of living a normal, sweet life. It was her actions that put her here. If she would have gone to Edward when he was here instead of coming to me, she would be gone, and I could be moving on with my own life._

_She chose this, and now she'll have to deal with the it_, I thought hostility. _So many are paying for the consequences of her actions... I being one. If she had just never gotten into this world of animals and blood, James would still be here. I might still be me instead of this T.V. version of a caretaker, a cure to the stupid human girl, a replacement to someone who only wants to use me temporarily._

_She drives me all about her needy will like a horse. I'm not someone she values as a love, as she does Edward. I'm just her quick fix... Something to hold her off until the real thing comes. In the end, which could have been... which should have been today, she will leave me alone... Like I'm destined to be. But I am not a dog... I will not come when I am called; no matter how many tears she shudders. I will not be shot when my age becomes stale and useless to her…_

Ahh, a selfish thing I am, but it was true. And I was afraid. I didn't want to be left alone with the memory of her to haunt me. I wanted her to want me for reasons that even I couldn't want myself for. I wanted her to take my evil, my needs with as much enthusiasm as my ability to give comfort. I mean, she took all that in Edward with love.

For the rest of darkness, I fed. Taking from people what I myself didn't have. For the few minutes it took to drain them, I felt fine, full, wanted, and not just needed.

The sky was paling when I made my way back to the high rise. My few hours out and away for that confided loft, calmed myself. As I approached the loft, a weird anxiety came over me. I had left Bella there, ripped open. I was nervous of what she might have thought of my abrupt exit. What if she expected me to come back with something... or someone? Swallowing my pride to find some courage, I opened the door with a deep breath.

Bella, who before for she noticed my intro, was looking out the window on the 2nd floor, watching the first glimpse of the day's sun. When she heard me close the door, she whipped around and gave me a big bright smile.

"Victoria," she sighed before running to me.

She jumped onto my body, like a child would a parent - with exaggerated excitement. Somehow I allowed myself to find hope in the gesture, which, no matter the outcome, was stupid, but I was female- I was allowed to be stupid.

"Hey, Bella, how are you?" It was a question I really didn't want to know. I just wanted to keep her this way; rather it was real or not.

She looked at me, a shadow passing momentarily across her features, but then she shrugged as her face grew girly. "I don't know... The world can't be over every time someone goes away... I, ah, think I might get over it. I love Edward more than I can even measure, but love shouldn't be handicapped."

"It is though," I whispered before thinking.

She looked down, away from my eyes, then took my hands and said. "Well, you still have me, Victoria, if that makes any difference... I'm not James, and I could never compare to what he was..." She was right about that. She was much too ethical. "But maybe I could... I don't know." She took a deep breath and exhaled, giving up on the thought she was trying to convey.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." I said nonchalantly, hiding my small spurt of joy. "You're enough for me, Bella, don't worry."

She blushed for no reason that I saw, and then kissed my hand. "Thank you!"

She turned around and went into the kitchen. I however, nearly skipped to the bathroom. I felt so grimy! There was still glass in my hair that had become a bird's nest. I mean, being around a human rubs off on you. Before, I could go a month or two in rags and tangled hair, but now, a week without a shower or clean outfit, I was all but scratching with the feeling of being dirty.

While I showered I thought a lot. _How long has Bella been with me_, I thought_. It's gotta be something like four months. She hasn't seen her friends or family for so long that they probably suspect her dead... Does that make her sad? Doesn't she miss anyone other than Edward? She must! I saw Laurent only 2 months ago and I miss him terribly. Well, the Laurent I knew, not the one who has some strange love for me, as flattering and useful it could be felt weird to know._

While brushing my hair, I came up with a completely unselfish idea... Well, the first part wasn't selfish, but the second part was mainly just for me.

I wrapped a towel tightly around myself, and walked out to where Bella sat in deep concentration on the couch. She was crouched in on herself, her hand inches away from her face that was slightly furrowed.

"What are you doing," I asked, still brushing my hair.

She didn't look up, but blushed with a frown. "I was trying to clean up, but one of the glasses broke, leaving me with the meanest little splinter."

I sighed. "Bella, you should have let me clean up the T.V. Me being splinter repellent and all. It's also my mess in a way."

"Ugh, are you kidding," she laughed. "Of course I would leave that to you!"

I walked over and sat on the couch next to her. "So why do you have the thing in your finger? Did I total something I'm not aware of?" That would make sense.

Rolling her eyes and she said, "No."

"What then?"

Blushing deeper, she spoke quietly, mumbling a little. "I was doing the, uh, dishes."

I looked at her solemnly, but then chuckled. "What? How did that happen?"

She threw down her hand frustratedly. "I was trying to clean a glass and my hand got stuck. When I pulled it out, it broke. I was cleaning up that glass and this sucker got me." She gestured to her hand angrily.

"Nice," I couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up!," she giggled and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"So, Bella," I began, wanting to get this out. "Want to go back to Forks?"

She pulled her head up, her face panic stricken. "You're going to leave me there, aren't you. You're tired of me! You're -"

"No, no, no, Bella." I grabbed her hand. "I was just thinking you might want to go home and see people, you know? Like family!"

She looked at me wearily before turning her gaze to the ceiling. "You promise you're not gonna leave me there?"

I wrapped my arms around her waist and curled up as best as I could to Bella's small frame. "I promise. I just think you might want to see your father again before you become a... vampire thing."

I felt her stiffen.

"I mean if you don't want to-" I began to amend, but she cut me off.

"Do you mean it," she jumped, pulling away from me, nearly knocking off my towel.

"Uh... Yeah. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," I promised.

She leaned back into me, and turned her head back up to the ceiling. "Forever... How long is forever, Victoria?"

I bit my lip, debating if I should answer truthfully. "It's already too long for me, but it doesn't have to be that way for you... You could be... happy," I sighed.

While we sat there, I thought about it deeper: _Making Bella a vampire so soon would probably be a mistake, evil almost, but she wants to be one, I think._

"So Forks tomorrow, huh?" I asked, swallowing my mental warnings.

"Sure," she shrugged.

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_**A/N:**_ I know this is late, but this is my second go at this chapter. The first try my dearest editor said was fine, but I it was just wrong to me. I don't like this one either, and I'm growing to HATE my narrator. Ugh, I hate when that happens. I'm at that stage when I lose all inspiration I had when I first began.

Now, I'm not fishing for compliment or reviews, but it would be awesome if you could tell me if I'm being too critical or something. If you agree that my writing has gotten drier than it already was, I think it would be best if I took a break from this story. Or maybe, like I usually am, I'm just being overly critical and need to leave well enough alone, and keep up with the story before I completely let it slip away. Or people give me ideas: songs, short stories, poems, or good books to read.

Speaking of books, I just finished an awesome book call _The Will of The Empress _by_ Tamora Pierce. _It was wonderfully witty, but had it's tart moments. Oh, and hey, I made video's while I was at the camp thing for my two friends who are in Turkey. I'm not finished with all of them, but if you want to see them, I'll post a link onto my profile, 'kay! God this is a long note... uhhh! Thanks to all my reviews! XoXoX


	24. Cocky

**_A/N:_** Here you go, lovelys! Prepare yourself for cheese dialog.

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**Palistus note:** I am stating my power over you readers with a note! Cause I can do that lol. But yes, you will love this chapter! Justy like you love all the other chapters! *Dares anybody to object*. Please review! Me and Edit love those little things. Enjoy the chapter!

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_**Cocky**_

"Calm down will you," I complained, looking over at lip-biting Bella in the passengers seat as we crossed the welcome sign of the pitiful town known as Forks. "Your heart beat is getting on my nerves."

She rolled her eyes. "You and me both... It's making me nauseous."

"No, that's just the overacting nerves in your ridiculous little brain... It could also be the six hour drive."

"Or it could be your face," she snapped.

I chuckled. "It would be wise to be nice to me. I'm the man with the gun, and I can and should kill you."

She sighed. "That doesn't sound half bad right now..."

"Ugh," I groaned. "Shut up! It's going to be fine!"

She glared at me, leaning in with a sneer. "Yeah, it should be easy. I just walk right in there after being gone for months with a big "Surprise, I'm Not Dead" smile, and he'll just accept that. He'll have questions I can't answer and possibly a heart attack!"

I laughed a good one at that. "Bella," I started conversationally. "you ran away, silly. You just couldn't take having to smile when you didn't want to anymore or something along the lines of that crap, so you bought a bus ticket that would take you to L.A. to stay with an understanding, old friend you knew in Arizona - me! Oh, and you were in such a rush and teenage frustration that you didn't take anything with you. You just got a cab to the bus station so you wouldn't have to abandon your truck to the public. But now you see how selfish and idiotic you were being, and came home to apologize."

She looked at me incredulously for a moment before falling deeper into her seat, sinking below the rim of the car window as we pass the "down town" of Forks, making sure to stay out of sight to whoever may see her.

"That sounds brilliant and all, but... I couldn't lie to save my father's life, let alone my own," she said, her voice strained from the strange position she was in.

I looked down at her face. It was pink and full of anxiety.

"Look, Bella, get a grip, will you! You don't really have to completely lie. Just tell him you had to leave to save your sanity... This is not completely a lie nor is it the truth."

"Far from it," Bella scoffed.

"What? You wanna tell him you were kidnapped by a vampire who had originally planned to give you the longest, most excruciating death unimaginable, but somehow crap happened, long story short, now you love me. Yeah, that should graze right over his shoulder like breeze."

She was back to biting her lip. "Okay," she said heavily and just as I was pulling into her houses driveway. "I left for already stated reasons, stayed with you, my old, good," she paused and looked at me before continuing, "extremely beautiful, pale friend I met in Phoenix one summer-"

"Yup, I was visiting my albino grandmother..." I added quickly bringing the vehicle to a silent stop. "Remember, I inherited these eyes."

"Yeah, uh, and... What was the rest?"

I smacked my lips and then the top of her head lightly. "You realize how stupid you are,(Very, very important part to remember. It's a very believable alibi for you.) and wanted to come back to apologize for being a retard."

"You're mother," she moaned. She peeked her head over the windshield, finally comprehending that we we're here. "Oh, God!"

"Relax and listen: You also came to say goodbye. You've made a life in L.A. with me, but not in the way that it is, okay? I work as a..." I stopped, trying to find a suitable career for myself.

"Lingerie model," Bella filled my application.

I grinned down at her still hiding body.

"He'll believe it, trust me, and he won't be like, "Oh, I'd love to see some of your photos." without blushing."

"Yes, okay, well, anyways, you want to stay far from Forks because it just causes you horrible, pain, but you'll call him all the time. Then you'll breakdown in tears at the thought of leaving him for this life, and I'll have to do some backwards physiology: "Bella, it's your choice." Then you'd be like: "But, Victoria, this is my choice! I want to be a vampire," I said perfectly mimicking her voice.

She giggled, making her shoulders soften. "Yeah, well, I'm not all that complex when it comes to that subject."

"So, I know you, you know you, now let's go," I opened my door slowly, putting on the "I'm human" act.

Bella shuttled ungracefully out as well, closing the door as quietly as she could. I walked over to her side and put my hand firmly behind her back, giving her a nice push forward.

"Please don't pass out, Bella... And it would be even cooler if you don't throw up," I whispered in her ear.

We took small then smallest steps, moving even slower as we pass the police car, as if it had motions sensors that would shoot at us.

"Bella," I huffed. "He'll be happy to know you're safe."

Stepping onto the pouch, she shuttered, "No, Charlie's going to kill me... No, he'll give me a backpack full of guilt, and let my mom do the torturing that will inevitably lead to my death..." She looked at the door unsure before deciding to knock. "Oh, Victoria, kill me please."

I very quickly kissed her cheek and whisper. "I think you're doing just fine by yourself."

I heard her father's footsteps approach the door, and then, it slowly swung open. The absence of the door show a tall, middle aged man with dark circles under his brown eyes, and untamed hair. His deeply grieved eyes stared at us with the blankest look for a long moment, and then widened an incredible with as he paled.

"Bella," he gasped. "Oh, Bella." He jumped forward and swooping Bella up into his arms. "Oh, my God, Bella," I cried.

"Hey, Dad!," I smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

It was a tender sight... You don't seem so much devotion between father and child very much these days. Men and boys just walk away from their mistakes, from their own blood, taking the choice that shouldn't even be, an out. In my time, men were shamed from society for being such cowards, then, so where the women for getting pregnant outside of marriage. But growth comes with consequences, doesn't it? Women have rights now, suppose to be considered equals to men, so of course they're gonna be given obstacles that try and keep them down. (**A/N:** Who's a feminist with daddy issues? I am! lol)

"B-b-bella! Your-how-when-what," he was scrambling on his words, holding his daughter arms length away from him, giving her a good look over.

His eyes were brimmed with tears, that I was sure would fall, but instead, disappeared as his face grew dark. "Bella," he said lowly, "Where have you been? And who is this?" He had noticed me standing behind her for the first time, and blinked at my face a few times, clearly taken aback by my features.

"Hello, Mr. Swan. I'm Victoria," I greeted as charmingly as I could, trying to make myself sound weak and nonthreatening as possible.

"Dad, I have a lot to say. Can was go inside and talk," Bella asked with a shuttering breath that had nothing to do with the cold.

He nodded, and held the door open for us to enter.

"Stay calm, Bella," I whispered lowly into her ear as she led to the living room.

She took a moment to look around, taking deep breaths of the room. Her father came in and sat down on an old recliner. We following his action on to the couch.

"So, Bella, are you trying to kill me and your mother?" His eyes looked so worn that that heavy, burning magma call guilt sunk into that place between my spin and ribcage as I sincerely regretted causing this man pain I was familiar with.

Bella told him the story we had discussed, and horribly, I should add. Somehow, her father swallowed it like a pill from a physiologist - not asking many questions, just taking what makes him feel better. In the end, he ran his hands through his mess of a head, and sighed a deep meditating sigh.

"I'm very disappointed and really quite angry with you, Bells. You could have at least called. It was very irresponsible of you, but I forgive. Just please never vanish like that again. At the very least write a note!" He was a completely different man from that of the one I saw open the door. I've never seen so many lines fade from a face like that before, but it gave me a tiny bit of relief inside.

"Well," he cleared his throat, standing up and moving towards me. I got to my feet and clasped his extend hand. "Thank you, Victoria, for taking care of my stupid daughter."

I smiled wide, trying to suppress a laugh. If he only knew, I thought with humor in the back of my mind. "It was a comfort to do something with my time, Mr. Swan. Bella is dear to me. To see her bright again and be the reason why is a gift."

What the hell, I thought to myself. I was saying things I meant... Mushy things!

Charlie looked at me and then to Bella with a frown, and released my hand with almost a jerk.

"Umm, so, yeah, Dad, what's the statics on mom," Bella asked, sinking the awkwardness.

He sat back down and told Bella how dead she was.

"I'm surprised they haven't hospitalized her," he sighed sadly. "You have to call her immediately! We thought you were dead, Bella..." He looked gravely at his hands.

Bella put a hand on his shoulder. "Dad, I am so sorry. I just needed to be away from here. There are too many memories..." She looked around the room as she said that.

Charlie nodded. Then he suddenly spoke darkly. "Yeah, well, if I were in my right mind, I would have shot that boy when he came here."

An atomic bomb went off in my mind. "What," I asked before Bella even blinked.

He looked surprised at my reaction. "Yeah, he came here a few days ago," he paused and looked at Bella's blank face, "looking for Bella. I would've shot him if he wasn't the son of Dr. Cullen..."

"Thank you for not," Bella frowned.

Charlie opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself before asking, "Well, Bells, are you hungry? I was about to order some pizza."

Bella gave a small smile and laughed honestly. "Have you eaten anything other than that, Dad?"

He blushed lightly and chuckled. "No... Just this past week."

Bella, giggled and hopped up. She disappeared into the kitchen, and I was about to follow but Charlie stopped me.

"I suppose you're going to be staying the night. It's a long drive back to Los Angeles," he asked almost dimly.

"If that is okay with you, sir," I answered as I should. "I could go to a hotel if you would like."

Before he could answer, Bella called from the kitchen. "Oh, my God, Dad, you haven't touch a thing in the pantry. What have you been eating? Victoria, you think it was the hardest thing to open a can of soup."

I laughed. Charlie frowned.

He let out a deep breath. "Naw, you should stay here..."

"Thank you," I said, faking half of my gratitude. It was natural and completely right for him to not like me, but he didn't know me. It kind of hurt my feelings.

I was about to continue to the kitchen when he stopped me once again.

"What are you to my daughter," he asked in a deep, low whisper.

Medication, was the first thought that popped up in my head, but I held it at bay. I looked at him for a second, gathering the right answer. "What she needs - a friend with enough patience to deal with her bullshit." I answered truthfully.

Charlie eyed me carefully before, patting me awkwardly on my arm. "Call me Charlie, 'kay, kid?"

I smiled, and finally made it without interruption to the kitchen where Bella was hard at work.

When Bella was finished, there was a massive amount of food on the small table.

"Wow, Bells," Charlie exclaimed, walking from the living room where him and I were watching T.V. "Are you making up for lost times or something."

She laughed, looking so happy and familiar. I had never seen her so lively. I mean I did, but it was a duller version and so long ago. It was for the briefest second. It was our first kiss...

We all sat down to eat, and of course Charlie noticed I wasn't eating. Somewhat playfully, he leaned over to Bella, and whispered, "The pretty ones never eat."

Bella laughed, throwing her head back. "She's still full from the children she ate yesterday."

I laughed hard at that one. She didn't know how true that was. Bating my eyelids, I gleamed, "You guys think I'm pretty?"

Their night came to an end shortly after that. Charlie gave me a whole little set up on the couch I wouldn't get any use from. After a private talk I could hear between Bella and Charlie, he believed her when she promised not to disappear tonight or tomorrow or for the rest of the week for that matter. After a good five yawns that were almost in a row, I forced Bella to stop making words, and almost instantly, she fell asleep, gripping tightly to the covers she knew, breathing deep and calm in the perfect, safe memory that was her home.

I, however, could not find rest. My limbs twitched with one question. Around 12:30 am, sure Bella would not wake, I climbed out of her draped window without making more than a creak. The scents came in recognition way before the brightly light house. I stepped out of the tree line, and like I was expected stood the whole Cullen Club, proud, ready, and glaring their confidence.

"What's up," I greeted, spreading my arms wide, trying to show I meant no harm.

"Your death," hissed the big one I remembered was named Emmet.

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest dramatically. "That's mean... I come here just trying to be friendly, and get a corny comeback as a welcome. C'mon, I know you can do better than that?"

I should have guessed the next line was gonna be physical. I was shoved painfully hard to the ground. When I looked up, the two blond males where holding Emmet back.

I pushed myself back to my feet. "Ugh, hasn't your mommy told you about hitting women? We have a tendency of hitting back." Because he was incapacitated by his friends, it was too much a temptation, and I couldn't help but punched him as hard as I could in his jaw.

Well, a long arss-kicking by his mate (Rosalie) I was rolling on the floor, gripping my stomach in pain from the many kicks I had received. I don't know when or why they stopped at first until I had the strength and courage to open my eyes.

"Ready to drop the cockiness, Victoria," Carlisle asked in a bored voice.

"Hey," I groaned, standing up, "it's not like I started it."

"I'll finish it, if you'd like," Emmet sneered.

I stuck my tongue out. "Like, I did with your mom last night."

"Victoria," Carlisle growled. "As much fun as you are, can you please lose your pride?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I think I spit it out a few kicks ago, but that could have been a tooth."

"Oh, you flatter me," Rosalie said dryly.

"Anything for you, dollface." I winked as she growled. "So, yeah, where's Edward?"

"Why do you want to know," Alice asked, stepping out of the group, her little fist clenched. Memory made me wince a little.

"You know," I said, pulling twigs out of my hair. "For all your tenderness towards humans, you guys lack epically on kindness and patience and friendlessness."

"Victoria," Carlisle said my name roughly, once again. "Why don't you come inside? No of this family will harm you immaturely, I swear." He glared at his... "family" with authority that I didn't understand.

I looked at the glaring faces, but decided to follow. Obviously something had happen to Edward. Maybe he died, I thought with hope.

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**_A/N:_** Well, the story is moving again thanks to... **_Sarah_**. She's a reader who was kind enough to help me out with inspiration, and it worked. So let's all raise our glasses to Sarah! And of course, like always, my editor. Um... I'm still open to soundtracks you guys think might help me in anyway, and thank  
_Naitan  
Slam2k_  
& _Quiet_(cool name by the way)  
They were awesome and reviewed, making me blush with either embarrassment or joy. Thanks!


	25. Childish

**_A/N:_** Enjoy!

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YOU BETTER MOVE OR YOU WILL BE CRUSHED BY THE AWESOMENESS OF THIS CHAPTER! Personally this is one of my favorites (: oh and YAY FOR KASPERSKY! It blocked 2 worm attackers in 2 days! OWNED YOU STUPID FLAMINGO! (you have to have seen a video to get that)  
~That one guy that edits stuff and makes weird notes,  
Palistus.

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**_Childish_**

I trailed my fingers across the tightly compacted books that sat as silent as it's owner. I walked past the massive book cases to a large wall of pictures... Well, really, it seemed more like a time line. I was struck when I came across one.

I looked back at Carlisle with a smirk. "Hey is that-"

"Yes," he cut me off blankly. "The Volturi."

I laughed. "You weren't always a saint, huh, Carlisle? What made you go pro-human?"

His face was unresponsive. "I was with them as a guest, not an employee. And I have never desired to take human life."

"Other than your... roommates." I said bluntly.

"You mean my family?"

I smiled, "Yeah, sure, whatever you call them."

"I did that to save them," he said in a deep irritated voice.

Sarcastically, I replied, "Oh, so that doesn't count..."

We stared at each other for a long time, daring the other to say something else.

"Why are you here, Victoria?" He asked roughly.

"Why am I alive?"

"What?" His face momentarily scrunched up, but then phased back to its cool, calm expression.

I sat in a chair across from the big table that separated us. "C'mon, Mr. Cullen. I've taken something that seemed very dear to you last year. And I've seen what happens when your pet is tampered with... But look, I'm still here. Why?"

He leaned back into his large leather chair and crossed his arms, taking deep breaths, looking over my shoulder. I waited as minutes went by but he still did not respond.

"So, Doc," I sighed, dropping my prior question with frustration, "where's your little mind reader? Is he off preying on mice and bunnies?"

More minutes went by in silence. He just kept looking over my shoulder. Trying to get his attention, I stood up and hopped onto the desk, sitting cross legged on its surface, a foot away from the Cullen. Of course, his expression didn't waver.

"Fine," I caved. "I came here to talk to your son about Bella. When he came for her, he left with the wrong conclusion... I think..." I had spoken without really thinking.

He finally brought his eyes to my face. "What do you mean 'I think'."

I was confused with my own answer. "I mean, Bella loves Edward, but I don't know what she really thinks about me... I mean, if she had to chose between me and him, she would definitely chose Edward, wouldn't she?"

"Would she," Carlisle asked looking at me gravely.

"I think so, but then why didn't she go to Edward... No," I shook my head. "She was going to, but your stupid son jumped to a stupid conclusion!" I scowled at Carlisle like he was Edward himself. "Now, where is he? He needs to fix whatever is broken with Bella, because I can't do everything by myself!"

I got to my feet and stepped off the desk, going back to the bookshelf.

"You're giving Bella back," he asked quietly with a hint of something soft in his voice...

"No," I spat, turning back to him. Then wished I didn't, his brows where high with amusement. "I mean, if she wants to stay or something, which is most likely the outcome, but I'm not leaving her here like an unwanted child. She needs closer, and that's why I'm here. Now where the hell is Edward?"

Carlisle face fell blank again. "Alice," he suddenly called.

A second later, in waltzed the little person. "He's about to enter Michigan. He's running west now, but I still don't know where he's headed. He's shifting plans to much."

I knew she had this ability, but I didn't really know it's extent. I was impressed with all the information she can gather. "That's convenient," I commented dumbly.

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

"But it's got to get annoying," I said, glancing at the books again. "It can be, but I've learned to control it," she answered, proudly, sitting down in that chair across from Carlisle.

"Oh, I didn't mean annoying for you. I meant your annoying for your family." I grinned as she growled.

"You have no idea," a deep voice laughed.

I turned, to the beast of a being who leaned against the offices' door frame, grinning goofishly.

"No more than your voice," a male voice growled.

Suddenly, from behind, Emmett was pushed out of his relaxing stance and into the Carlisle desk, making the old study lamp crash to the floor and bust.

"Crap," he said under his breath, looking between the rubble and Carlisle.

"Emmet," Carlisle groaned darkly.

"Hey, he pushed me," Emmet squeaked and pointed at the tall, lean, blond guy that stood where Emmet used to be, grinning.

"It was an accident," he claimed.

"It was karma," Alice concluded, locking eyes with Jasper, a loving smile on her face.

"Victoria was the one who really started it," argued Emmet, glaring at me.

"I didn't do anything," I protested.

"Yes you did," he accused, growling.

"No! I didn't," I challenged, actually frustrated!

"Yes you did," Alice said quietly, examining a ring on her finger.

"Ugh, whatever!" I cried, rolling my eyes, and then turned to Carlisle who looked humored. "Look, Doc, Edward's not here, and Bella is still unhappy... I think... Anyways, what do you propose I do with her?"

"Bring her here," a soft voice voted.

From behind Jasper emerged as gentle figure with delicate features.

"I don't think that's a good idea, although that can easily be ignored. You guys will do as you please," I said defensively.

"Why do you think that," Esme asked. "She was our family before she was your, you know, Victoria."

I glared at that statement. "Yeah but then you guys disappeared on her-"

"That's not fair," Emmett argued. "Edward told us to go."

"He did it to protect her," Jasper agreed with a guilty look.

"A lot of help that did," Alice scoffed.

I raised my head to that. "Exactly! Not to sound cliche, but if Edward said jump into a volcano, would you do it?"

"If it was for Bella, of course," Esme said with honest dedication.

I sighed, not being able to argue with the sweet looking woman. "I don't argue your devotion personally, but you guys' exodus caused Bella a lot of pain."

"Why do you care so much," a menacing voice intruded.

"Rosalie," scolded Carlisle.

"That's what everyone wants to know, and I've got the courage to say it," she asked innocently to Carlisle, and then turned back to me. "Are you in love with her?"

I hissed at her, causing Emmett to stand before her. I looked around at the rest of the room. They all had a poker face on, but no mask could hide the question in their eyes.

Rolling my eyes, I spoke quickly. "I'll tell Bella that you are here, and it will be her decision. Sorry I pissed you all off once or twice tonight. Goodbye."

I walked out the compressing house without another word, and started my way back to Bella.

"Why is that such a sensitive subject for you," Alice's voice rang from behind me, but did not slow me down - I continue my pacey walk through the trees.

"Because it's none of their business," I said in an unfriendly tone.

"Not even your own," she asked with surprising gentleness.

I stopped and turn around to face her. "Stop that," I all but yelled. "You're not helping! But if you must know, I'm confused, okay? It's a defense mechanisms I don't want to turn off yet! But I'm doing the right thing. I swear, your precious Bella is in no harm, alright? So, can you please drop it, and leave me alone!"

I turned away from her and left. To my greatest relief, she didn't follow.

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_**A/N:**_It's really amazing that I can write anything at all right now... As you guys know**_ Michale Jackson _**is dead(may he RIP). The shock has worn off, and part of me feels gone too... I'm like unintentionally depressed about it... I don't think I'll be able to write music for weeks... Ugh... It's so sad!

Well, anyways, I hope you guys liked this. I know how much people like Cullen interaction. Oh, and I've fallen in hate with Victoria! I don't know what I'm gonna do...


	26. Light Bulb

_**A/N:**_ Umm... Sorry for this being so late, but I forgot how to write for like 3 weeks... And, I just really, really, **hate** Victoria, so I wanted to prolong our "time" together as much as I could... And, I've been going to this SAT camp thingy for my school, and that suck more of my time than sleep does. I'm not even technically in 9th grade, and they are already putting on the pressure!  
Good news is, this story is almost over. For real this time! I'm working on the last of the chapters now! I want to get this finished before school starts!

Bon appetit!

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**Light Bulb**

"Good morning," Bella greeted, walking down the stairs. Her face was a light pink, and her hair wet and slightly dripping. The smell of strawberry trailed in her wake, overpowering the scent of her father who had left 20 minutes before.

"Hey," I smiled a smile I didn't want to.

Bella came over to where I was lying lengthwise on the old sofa. She leaned down, and gently, lovingly kissed my lips. When she pulled away, she paused a second and just looked at me with a curious and knowing expression.

"What's wrong," she asked, crouching down and sitting crisscross on the floor, next to me.

I smiled another one of those smiles and shook my head. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong with me, but I do have some news that may be something to you."

"I knew it - you're leaving," she freaked, gripping my hand tightly in her's.

"No, Bella! God! Get that out of your head already, will you?" I didn't mean to shout the way I did, but my patience was slight that morning.

She looked at me darkly for a moment, but then, with irritation, she nodded.

"Good. Now," I started, talking slowly, watching her expression through each word. "Last night, your father said something that made me curious, and while you were asleep, I went to go see if my predictions were right... Long story short, they were."

Here eyes were wide as she swallowed hard. "The Cullen's are back?"

I nodded, looking away, not wanting to see the hope that would of course cross her face. "They've been back for quite some time I think."

There was a long silence, and I still dared not look at her.

"And..." Bella asked.

I knew what she wanted to know, but I wanted to hear it come out of her mouth. "And, they hate me, of course."

"And," Bella asked more urgently.

"And, I told them that I would tell you they were here, and we all agreed it would be your decision if you wanted to go see them."

"And," Bella asked irritatedly.

I let out a deep breath and gave up. "No, Bella, he's not there... He's off running the country or something."

Bella let out a sigh.

"Why would it matter," I sat up and barked, looking at her face. It was just as I picture it - disappointed.

As innocently as ever, she looked up at me, and spoke softly. "It just does, Victoria..."

I laughed humorlessly, and sat up. "Sure, Bella."

"Victoria, why do you do that?" She groaned.

I put my head in my hands, mentally exhausted. "Oh, no reason Bella. I'm just sick of being lead in circles, but don't you worry, it's my problem."

A warm hand found mine, like it does. "Victoria, I'm-"

"No! Please! Just no, Bella," I stopped her. "There is nothing you can do to save me this bit of... frustration, okay? That has been made clear over and over and over again."

"Victoria, I-," she pleaded.

"Bella, please," I begged, lifting my head from my hands. "I don't want to do this now..."

She looked in my eyes for a long moment before nodding. Her hands took each side of my face as her lips took mine. And just like that, I was back where I always was. You'd think, after like a 150 years, I would have wisdom and will and reason enough know when to walk away, but I was chained... My only way to escape would be through truth. The only truth I would find is if Edward stooped being stupid and came to back to his stupid family to find his stupid lover-girl waiting for him... Ugh... Then she'll leave me... Really, the stupid one in all of this, the true idiot here is me!

My entire future rests in the "grace" of Bella... Well, at least I won't be bored.

"Come on, Victoria," Bella ordered, trying to pull me up from the couch.

"Nooo," I moaned, and yanked the arm she was pulling away from her grasp. "I don't want to go! I told you, they hate me!"

"So what," she huffed, dropping herself heavily to the couch. "I'll... I'll protect you!"

I looked at her blankly. "Ha! You're cute, but no..."

"C'mon, please!" She begged.

I looked at her expression. She really wanted me to go, and that made me feel good. "What's in it for me other than some type of pain?"

"A hug and a kiss?" She grinned.

"No thanks."

Crossing her arms, she sassed, "Fine! Then I won't go either!"

I sank deeper into the couch. "Fine..."

All faces were warm as they swarmed Bella quicker than she could really pick up. I hid in the SUV, contemplating if I should get out and run, or just drive away.

Their reunion was very heartfelt and humanly, straight from a movie or corny book. I mean, how long is a couple of months to vampires really? I go years without seeing some of my closest friends, and never have our reunions been so earnestly exaggerated. Whatever, though... They probably never cut the mortal act in fear they may lose it... Or, maybe, these are the effects of drinking from animals... Maybe animal blood makes vampires mental on some degree? It would drive me insane! Sucking through fur... Ugh, gross! I'd rather eat a heroine addict!

The apologies and pledges and the other sentiments continued in the house. To my surprise, before Bella was lead inside, she glared a command my and took a breath to voice it, but was pulled in by Alice before she could form a word.

Ignoring Bella's look, I stayed in the SUV, and tuned out the sweet words that were shared between the Cullens and Bella, childishly shying away from their affections. Just as time started to pass by quicker than it was, the passenger door opened, and a blond head climbed in and sat lazily down inside, closing the door behind her.

She didn't say anything. We sat in an awkward silence for so long that I began to fiddle with buttons in the SUV.

"Sooooo," I said, breaking the silence.

She looked at me for the first time with an annoyed expression. "What?"

"You, uh... came in here... Why?" I asked, motioning to the door.

Like it was common sense, she replied. "Because I don't want to be in there..."

I looked at her silently for a moment. "What? You're not pro Bella?"

Sighing, she answered. "Nope..." She looked me up and down with amusement. "It seems like I'm the only one immune. You disappoint me, Victoria. I thought you were a badass."

I rolled me eyes. "Ha. Ha..."

Stiff silence filled the vehicle a moment before she turned in her seat and started at me. "Why are you with her," she asked, with a mocking eyes.

"Because you're not into girls," I answered sarcastically.

Dismissing my obvious reluctance, she continued, "Is it the romance of the forbidden-ness between Vampire and Human? Or, is she sincerely as wonderful as everyone says?"

"Well, she's not blond," I replied in the same tone as before.

She leaned in and whispered, "Have you seen her naked?"

I growled lowly in annoyance.

She laughed delightedly. "Oh, my God, you have, haven't you! Oh, man, the things Alice must have seen! No wonder she hates you! You beat Edward to the punch, huh? Oh, you have just become my new best friend and hero!"

"Are you hitting on me?" I remarked flatly.

Seductively, she said, "That depends..." Grinning, she tucked a stand of my hair behind my ear, and lightly grazed my collar bone before withdrawing her hand from my personal bubble. "Are you into girls with silent chests."

"Do you ever stop talking?" I groaned, running my hands through my hair.

"Oh, please, Victoria, we are of the same poise! Stop being so taciturn and flirt with me. You were willing to play last night... Do I have to push you around to get you to the same height in animation? Or... Is there something going on between you and Bella that's got your tongue still?"

I started at her raised eyebrow and then laughed.

"What," she complained.

"Nothing, really. You just remind me of me..."

Glaring she puffed, "Hey, no need for insults here..."

I chuckled. "Okay, Rosalie, I'll play."

The next few minutes were entertaining as I played pettily with Rosalie. I never thought I would find a Cullen friend-able. She was straight up! She's harsh, sarcastic, slightly insane, annoying, and hot! She'd be the perfect match for Laurent! We were having a pointless contest when Esme called for us to come in.

I forfeit the contest to grow a weary expression.

"Ha! I win," Rosalie chimed. "You suck, but... that's no real surprise."

We ran into the house to find everyone sitting calmly in the fancy living room. Rosalie went and sat on Emmet's lap, while I filled the empty seat next to Bella. She looked so sad. Without thinking, I took her hand, and everyone seemed to internally gasp... Well, everyone but Alice and Rosalie I think. I could see the cringe on their faces.

"Yeah, um, are you okay?" I asked, looking only at Bella's face, ignoring the penetrating glances that made me feel uncomfortable.

She bit her lip and nodded. I leaned down and whispered low in her ear. "You want to go?"

She looked at me with a strange expression, but turned to Esme and politely said, "I think we should be getting back. Charlie should be on his way home. I should really be on my way."

She and I go to our feet, and so followed the Cullens.

"Are you going to be back," Esme asked, glancing at Alice.

"You won't be leaving Forks before we see you again, will you," rephrased Carlisle, taking Esme's hand, looking deeply into Bella's eyes.

"Yes, do come back, Victoria," urged Rosalie with bittersweet sincerity.

I looked to Bella, for an answer, and her answer was a shrug. "I hope so," she answered ambiguously.

The Cullens led us to the door, each of them gave Bella a gentle hug, except Rosalie, who stood with a smirk at the top of the long staircase, blowing kisses at me. We left the Cullens in an atmosphere that wasn't there until I touch Bella.

"Am I different," Bella asked me on the drive back to her humble home.

I glanced at her ironically. "I've been telling you that for the past month. It takes a visit with the Cullens for you to thoughtfully consider it. Is my option and observation so inferior?" My tone was softer than my meaning.

She sighed and leaned her head against the window, and was silent the rest of the drive.

We beat Charlie there, praise the Lord! The evening went as it had the night before, minus the dramatics. Charlie and I shared a companionable quick in the living room while Bella heated up last nights leftovers. Right before she was finished, I made my escape from having to give excuses for not eating with a reasonable exit to the shower. Her father gave a barely significant protest about dinner being right around the corner, but it only took one lie about feeling too grimy to eat to get him to forget his disagreement.

I didn't exit the bathroom until I heard Charlie pass by the door. I went downstairs to help a thoughtful Bella clean up the kitchen. When there was no more work for Bella to put her hands to, and Charlie's breath smoothed into the slow rhythm of sleep, Bella slid on her coat and went outside to lay in the bed of her dirty truck.

I simply just crawled onto the hood, and watched her watch the sky the held more clouds than stars. She didn't speak or even look at me for longer then I appreciated.

"You're different too, you know," she suddenly stated. "I mean... You weren't the person I met before... and then again."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. I used to be sorted and cool. Now I'm... jumbled and stupid and..."

"a little more human," she claimed with a small grin. "There's gentleness and patience in you now."

I groaned. "Yup... I'm a chump now... I might as well eat rodents and join the Cullens... I used to be strong!" Well, I had the illusion that I was strong and loved appropriately and many other pleasant ideas that held my head higher. "Then you came a long and ruined me. It was wrong of you to take such advantage of my fragile state."

"'Fragile'?" She laughed. "That's an ironic choice of words."

I rolled my eyes. It went quiet again.

"How have I changed?" She asked, lowly.

I thought about it for a minute, gathering my thoughts. "Humm, lets see... When I stole you, you were weird, and now you're a freak."

She giggled. "Is that a step up or down?"

"More like a step to the side." I teased, but then became serious. "No, but really... You're like a light bulb on a ceiling fan that's not screwed into the socket all the way. The light in the bulb flickers on and off with each rotation of the fan."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm crazy? That I'm "lose in the head"?" she asked with a sly smile.

I chuckled. "Stop it! I'm being serious... Now, I'm not saying you're crazy... Well, I am, but in an appropriate way? Look, I'm talking about you're moods. You are just so impulsive now... I mean, not now, but back in L.A. You were either really distant, horny, angry, or strikingly, destructively bold. And, sometimes, you'd go through all four in under an hour...

"You know how hard it was to not beat you? I just wanted to strangle the insane out of you more times than I can count, but I didn't want to completely demolish your little bones!"

She looked at me sarcastically, and, after a thoughtful moment, climbed up on the hood and sat next to me. "So summed up, what am I like, other than crazy?"

I frowned and looked up at the suddenly clear sky, gazing at the beauty of the world, thinking of the hope and life Bella had brought back to my reality, to my concept of time, to my forgotten humanity.

"You are lonely, Bella," I said, softly. "What's truly different about you is the loneliness you carry, despite me and despite your father and despite the Cullens and despite the rest of the world, and it's all for Edward..."

"I know, and I'm sorry," she whispered after a long time.

Since the air was heavy, I started cracking jokes about her fathers snoring, and luckily, the smooth essence of just Bella and I soothed any unpleasant feelings - It was just me and Bella and the soft feeling that these moments brought.

Damn Alice for ripping it away from us with a quick speed, sudden appearance from the trees, and a panicked expression.

"Bella," she seemed to moan. "Edward... He's-

"Being an idiot," Rosalie voice swooped out from the forest, with the same quick appearance as Alice.

"It's your fault," Alice growled loudly.

"I thought it would bring him back!" She yelled this, but her eyes were guilty.

Alice looked at her so maliciously, I thought she might attack, but, instead, leaped in to the bed of the truck to grab Bella's trembling hands that I was too amazed to really notice.

I looked over to Rosalie with a questioning expression, and she motioned for me to follow her. I turned my view to Alice to find her stern eyes on me.

"Go, Victoria. Rosalie will explain," she said in a tone that held danger.

I looked at Bella, and she had me in her pupils. In fear of not knowing if I'd ever see her like this again, or see her at all, I put my hands lightly around her neck. Bella, pulled her hands from Alice's and put one on my cheek and the other in my hair. We simply looked at each other, savoring each other, both fearing the worst. Then, so slowly, she began to close the space between our lips. I didn't make an attempt to move at all, and just let her come to me. It was so hard to close my eyes during this kiss. I just wanted to keep this love she had from me present forever...

Way too soon, it was over, and I was running behind Rosalie.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

Poll will be closing in two days, so make your argument if you haven't already... It really won't change the way of the story, but it will make me think.


	27. Riding Hood

* * *

**_A/N:_** **Hey! You!** Stop reading this crap story and go get _**'Looking For Alask****a'**_ if you haven't read it, and if you have, get **_'Paper Town_s'**. Both books are amazing for being teen literature and by an awesome man named** John Green**... Now, be cool and read it!

* * *

_**Riding Hood**_

The plane was so crowded! I mean, we were in First Class and comfortable, but that didn't block the constant, stagnant, jumbles of scents that filled the confided area.

"So, how much about the Volturi do you know, Victoria?" Rosalie asked me, after explaining the plan to fix Rosalie's screw up: She called and told Edward Bella was dead in a not-so-stupid(my opinion) attempt to bring him back to their stupid, mopey family.

"...They kept tabs on Jame's games, and once asked Laurent to join them. I don't know why he declined... Other than losing some freedoms, it would be brilliant to join them." I said, dreamily. I always fantasized about joining them. They only want the powerful with them, and to be considered powerful would really boost my confidence.

She looked at me as if I were disgusting for such a statement.

"What," I shied, but then understood. "Oh, yeah, you're a "vegetarian"! Look, cannibalism is immoral, but if they are no one of us, so there's really no sin in it? Other than being the only creature that knows they are going to die, there is no real difference between them and animals. Well, other than taste... Besides, we're the superior creature. If they didn't want to be eaten, they should have evolved into something stronger."

I laughed lightly at the irony of my own words. She just looked at me with a blank stare.

"Mhumm," she hummed. "Anyways, Carlisle had at one point stayed with them, and what he told me was that they are selfish animals."

"Aren't we all..." I sighed. "Yeah, I know Carlisle was their "buddy" and not "employ", but does anyone really know if he's telling the truth? Were any of you alive during this little "visit" with-"

"Don't insult Carlisle," She growled, lowly, leaning in very close to me with a snarl that was hidden from the humans by her long, blond hair.

I smiled friendly, and bopped her nose, a little thing from Bella did when she pissed me off to this extent. She leaned away, but grinned sightly.

"He's a good being," she said absentmindedly stroking her hair. "With good intentions..." She sighed the last sentence gloomily, leaning her head on the window of the plane. The sky was paling into a light blue, waring us we would soon have to close the blinds.

"I can't believe we got a straight flight to Italy(**A/N:** I don't know if that is possible... It's probably not...)," I said, conversationally. "We ought to be there by midday... So, how are we going to do this with the sun at the top of the sky?"

She smiled mischievously at me, making my veins pump with excitement. She stood up, bringing all eyes to her grace, and pulled down a small duffel bag from the shelf above her head. She sat back down, and pushed the black bag into my lap.

I smiled and opened it quicker than I should. There was so much red! It was fabric - two neatly folded shirts and two long cloaks.

I looked at her questioningly.

"St. Marcus Day," she whispered in a devious manner.

It took me a moment for me to remember where I had heard that before. Laurent had told me of the irony. A whole day devoted to a **vampire** banishing saint, a head member of the Volturi. Yeah, I remember laughing profoundly at the twisted little story, wishing for a day when I could be so clever, but I'm just... normal and weak.

"So, we'll be shaded and blend in at the same time," she said with a triumphant air. "I know, I know, I'm amazing!"

In an uninterested voice, I replied, "You are... for a blond."

She pinched me harder than the humor that filled her face. "You can't say anything, redhead!"

I gasped dramatically, grabbing a lock of my hair protectively. "Redheads are awesome!"

"Now, maybe... They used to think of redheads as bad luck and demons! A few hundred years ago, they would have burned you at the stake as a witch! Blonds have always been thought of as grace. Aphrodite was a blond! Rapunzel was blond! Sleeping Beauty was-"

"And so is barbie!" I congratulated dryly.

"Name one redhead that is important!" She sneered, playfully.

I thought about it for a second. "Okay, Antonio Vivaldi!"

She looked at me blankly. "Who?"

My eyes grew wide! "C'mon! You don't know Antonio Vivaldi?!"

"Nope," she said curtly. "So, he doesn't count - name someone else!"

I bit my lip and thought, and then they came to me. "Richard the Lionheart, Napoleon Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson, and Winston Churchill! Ha! That is way hotter than Aphrodite or Repunzel! You know why? Because they actually EXISTED!"

She gracefully flipped me off. "Yeah, and their all men. Know any women?"

I could have named quite a few women, but they wouldn't count... They were too modern and unimportant.

"See," she boasted, cocking an eyebrow.

We had just slid into the rental car when Rosalie suddenly froze, her eyes wide and mouth open. "Oh, no," she gasped.

"What," I asked guardedly.

She turned her eyes to me. "I left my cell phone on the kitchen counter..."

I glared at her lividly and spoke through my teeth. "The cell phone Alice was suppose to call and give us updates with?"

She nodded dumbly, taking a deep breath. "I thought I put it in the bag, but now I remember I left it..."

"You fucking dumbass," I yelled, putting my hands in my hair. "How the hell did you do that?! Oh, God! Great! This is just great! What are we going to do now?"

"We'll just have to do it without her... We have to..." Her voice was weak and her expression terrified.

Seeing this, my next words were spoken softly. "Look, we'll do what we planed, okay, but we have to hurry. Start the car..."

She closed her eyes, and brought the engine to life. Then, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath, she swiftly backed up, and raced the car out of the parking garage with a determined set in her jaw.

My mind panicked quietly. _If we were too late, or too soon, Edward may die... His death would rest heavily in her hands... and, in a way, mine._ _Bella would be devastated... That would be her end as much as his..._

The cloaks did their job brilliantly, hiding ever inch of our flashy flesh. And, just like we had hoped, we blended in artfully, even with our hoods drawn, making us seem mysterious and ghostly. The streets reminded me of a great mask I had been to once in my mortal years. It was a sight as strange and festive as the Day of the Dead, only every thing was so red.

We floated through the crowd. My hunger was growing with each passing second, my throat getting tighter and drier with each step. I hadn't eaten since L.A., and that was just a child. Luckily, Laurent had told me the penalty of hunting inside the Volturi's walls - death without trial. I just held my breath and glided with Rosalie, keeping the same pace as her. It is hardest to keep human grace and speed when the hunger comes. I didn't know how I was going to get through this.

Finally, after many blocks and long allies, we reached the ancient, castle-like building. It was straight out of a vampiric movie, and once we passed through the big doors, the inside lived up to that idea as well. If you turned off the intricately shaped, copper chandelier that hung from at great height, the room would have been pitch black to the human eye. The lobbies walls were covered with burgundy velvet, Post-Victorian furniture graced the room with dark elegance, and what seemed to be original rococo and neoclassical paintings of mystical creatures and biblical scenes hung on the walls. Just imagine a well kept haunted hotel...

As beautiful as this place was, it was so cliche for vampires.

"Good evening," a warm, deep voice greeted from the other side of the long room. "How may I help you today, loves?" The man was tall, powerfully built with short blond hair, and next to him stood a man of the same build and hair of the same crop but dark in coloring. They both held friendly gazes and expressions, but tense bodies, as if ready to fight if need arose.

"Hello," I said before Rosalie in the same gentility, pulling down the hood of my cloak.

Rosalie followed my example, and unshaded her face. "We've come in search of my brother, Edward."

"Edward," the dark haired quoted with false thoughtfulness, and then turned to the blond. "Does that name ring a bell with you, Santiago?"

"We were told he was coming here," I explained to their grinning faces. "And, it seems he has..."

Very politely, the blond one replied, "That he has."

My non-beating heart felt as if it had been dropped from a 10 story building.

"Is he here," Rosalie asked lowly.

They looked at each other and nodded.

"I will take you to our masters for the information you seek," the dark haired one spoke with a knowing smile. "Right this way, ladies." he motioned to opening elevator doors.

We were led three stores down, and into a long hallway that was filled with doors - probably the guards rooms. We were then brought into a grand hall like room, decorated luxuriously and filled with electronics - three massive T.V.'s, a giant radio, and about about five open laptops set neatly on identical tables that lined the west wooden walls.

This room that looked grand enough for a ball only held three people: Two sweet faced twins, a girl and a boy of about 14 or 15. And a male with a skin a tone or two darker than your average vampire, black shoulder length hair, and your common ruby eyes.

"More company," the little girl said dryly, siting lazily, headphones in her ears, on a couch next to her brother, who had a book in his lap.

He looked up and smiled charmingly. "Hello."

Rosalie and I both nodded with the same enthusiasm.

The man however looked us over curiously. "What is this business, Felix?"

"Family of Edward..." Felix answered.

"Really," the little boy looked up.

"Such drama," Hummed the little girl. "This should be fun to watch."

Looking at the other man, Felix asked. "Where are the Volturi, Demetri?"

"Heidi should be back in an hour or so. They should be on their way through here..."

The patter of foot steps came into hearing range the moment Demetri finished his sentence.

Then emerged a single cool, delighted voice and face! "Rosalie! Victoria! What a surprise!"

He was just as Carlisle's painting implied and Laurent's voice described. With skin that looked more inhumanly than it should – it exhibited a texture that looked as penetrable as petals on a daisy. And, he did not walk but floated with unmeasurable grace, inimitable and unearthly to my knowledge. But, neither of them could have warned me of his voice. It was majestic and alluringly, even to me - a vampire.

"Welcome, welcome, dear friends," Aro greeted kinetically, with his arms spread like that of a father about to take in much missed children.

Rosalie and I shared a quick glance that made both Felix and Demetri tense and step closer to us, and then, unintentionally, together, we said, "Aro."

"Ahh," he smiled. "It is to you our first meeting, but for me, I have known you much longer... Well, I know more of Rosalie than you, Victoria, but what I do know of you, I am already fond."

It was then that I remembered Aro's great talent. It was not so different than Edward's, but better and more detailed. It looked as if Rosalie had already known and thought of this: Her eyes were extraordinarily cool and companionable as she extended a hand gracefully, palm up. The guards swayed a little bit, prepared to pounce if needed.

It confused me why they thought we may be dangerous or hostile. It made me fear we were too late. That Edwards was dead, and they were expecting us to act impulsively, vulgarly.

Aro, however, smiled graciously at Rosalie and put his palm to hers. What felt like a long time, they stood there, hand to hand in silence. Aro's face at first was very grim and then lightened with each passing second until he pulled his hand from hers with a beaming smile.

"Well, knowing Alice's talent, I expected someone to come for him. I was anticipating her to come herself, or maybe Carlisle, but I get Rosalie and Victoria! The sight of you is not as surprising as the idea of you two coming here together, on the same mission. From what you have told me Rosalie, Victoria is no longer foe, but, then, what is she?"

Rosalie looked as if she might answer, but closed her mouth with a thoughtful expression.

"Ah," Aro gleamed. "You yourself do not know... Victoria?" Aro lifted his hand, palm up to me.

I looked at the frail-looking-flesh, nervously. I didn't want to give all of my life's secrets away to some man, even if it is Aro of the Volturi. I feared the experience as well, would I see what he did, or would I be left with a feeling of violation. With visible hesitancy and mental exertion, I put my hand to his.

It was soft. That's it. There was no pain, no visions, no feeling other than the soft texture of his long, bony fingers and large palm against mine. For the first time in a long time, I felt young. I felt as if I were looking at the face of my grandfather.

His expression, although thoughtful, seemed very distant, as if he were thinking about me but not looking at me... I really don't know how to explain this look. His scan of me seemed so much longer than Rosalie's, but, then again, I was probably much older than her. Finally, he blinked at me, signaling his completion.

"All for her, really," he asked in an secretively low way, skillfully leaving no one but myself audible to his words with.

I looked at his raised eyebrows, knowing he knew everything I didn't want him to... It was the first time I felt ashamed of being with Bella... I mean, what all did he see? He must think I'm pathetic or rebellious to his rules... Would I be killed for this, I asked myself.

"To sooth you, Edward is not dead," Aro grinned proudly.

I sighed, losing so much weight, I felt I could fly. Never had I been so relieved about anything!

"We would never take part in such a useless waste," he continued in a distasteful tone. "But, he was very determined. I think we should deliver this news of Bella's safety and coming arrival soon before he behaves in a way that will make us force our hand..."

"Where is he," Rosalie asked anxiously.

Aro smiled and looked to Demetri. "Demetri?"

Demetri closed his eyes for a brief second, and then spoke. "The clock tower."

"Is he in the shade?" Aro spoke with heavy authority, losing his grin to a stern expression.

Demetri shrugged. "I cannot tell that precisely..."

"Then you must hurry," Aro said deeply, dangerously, looking meaningfully at Felix and Demitri. "Take them there, and bring them **back**. Alice, follow them, and Alec, find my brothers. I will be waiting for Heidi!" Then, turning his gaze back to us with kind eyes. "I will meet you then. I do hope that Edward does not ruin himself..."

We followed Demetri and Felix with haste out of the castle and into the growing crowd. In our hooded cloaks, we paced with stealth. For some reason, I guess it was the pressure, I looked over at Rosalie's weary expression and laughed.

"What," she hissed.

"You kinda look like Little Red Ridding Hood's older sister." When I said it, it was no longer funny to me, but she gave a little smile.

Finally, after what felt like blocks at the human pace, I saw him, shirtless, in the shadows of an ally, and just at the precipice of his death. Rosalie gasped, freezing in her tracks.

"C'mon," I growled lowly.

"No," she shook her head. "Alice said I couldn't. We're too close! I'm too close!" She started to back up and sing a song.

"What are you doing?" I panicked, trying to pull her forward.

Demetri and Felix just gazed excitedly at Edward, not moving any closer.

"No," she whispered, wide eyed, grabbing my shoulders. "You have to go. Alice says if he sees me, he'll only act quicker. I'm too close. He might catch my thoughts... He's probably looking for them. You have to go! He's not looking for you! Don't think of him and hide your face! Now, go!"

It didn't take me another second before I was running(at human speed of course), my face shielded and thoughts completely on the idea of Little Red Ridding Hood running through the woods to her grandmothers house, where she would inevitable get eaten...

Everything that I was running for that moment seemed inevitable: Bella would inevitable leave me. I would inevitable be alone. I would inevitable be unloved to face years I would never cherish...

What felt like the longest run of my life, I was only a few feet away from him.

"Edward," I yelled at what seemed to be the second he was about to step into the sunlight.

With cautious force, I slammed my body into his, knocking us a good five feet back into the safety of the shaded alleyway. We landed with such a noise, I feared we may have drawn a attention, but, surprisingly, no one even peeked into the ally.

I stared for a long behind me to relive that fear. And, then, with the deepest sigh of relief, I looked up to the sky, silently thanking a god(A/N: Me!) that seemed to exist in that split second before I reached Edward.

It wasn't until I heard Edward growl my name that I noticed our potion. I really must have threw myself at him to have both legs straddling his hips, with my hands solidly on his chest.

"Get off me," he said with disgust, glaring hatefully.

"Oh," I said bashfully. I was about to get off him but then remembered what Rosalie said about him acting quicker once he knew we were here.

"You're not going to run out into the sun if I do, will you?" I asked guardedly, preparing myself to force him down if I needed to.

"Why? What does it matter to you," he asked with sincere curiosity.

"Because-" I was about to tell him it didn't in spite, but was interrupted by a shriek I did not plan on hearing.

"Edward!" Bella yelled, flying into the Ally.

I sat up further from Edward, to whip my head in her direction.

She looked at us with a blank expression, that read complete confusion. It was the last position I could have ever imagined being in with Edward, so her expression was appropriate.

"Bella," Rosalie's voice now strolled into the ally with Demetri and Felix behind her.

They all gave the same blank, shocked looked as Bella.

Looking back at Edward, who's eyes were entranced on the breathing Bella, I rolled off of him, and go to my feet with a quick hop. My motion intersecting with his view of Bella, brought him out of his seemingly trance and to his feet.

"It's not what it looked like," I said awkwardly, conscious of their stares. "I-i-i jumped on him, um, and... we, ah, just landed-"

"Bella," Edward's voice cut me off with an almost tearful whisper.

I looked to Bella, who's eyes were filling with tears, and, thankfully, I could tell immediately they were not tears of betrayal or pain, but looked more like joy... or love... She ran to him, shooting right past me, who only stood a foot away from beside him. She hit him so hard, I was half expected her to have a broken bone. The main point is, she didn't see me.

I don't know why I expected her to... I think it was the last meeting with him we had had.... You know, when she ran to me... It gave me more hope than I should have drank. I mean, you think common sense and universal knowledge would have been more believable than hope... She didn't want me. Why was that so hard to swallow?

I couldn't help but want to cry while he held her and kissed her, and, she, who had done so many times with me, but never with as much fever or love, kissed him back. I mean, it was amazing the difference you can see in it... There was no lust or need... I looked like just pure breathing to them...

Trying not to cry, I closed my eyes and walked over to where Rosalie was standing. She frowned at my expression and took my hand. Felix and Demetri looked at me with eyes that spoke "What the hell is your problem?"

"This is how it should be," Alice's voice was suddenly on the opposite side of me. "Thank you, Victoria," she smiled with gratification.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant sight, hum?" The high voice of Jane filled the ally that was seeming to get smaller and smaller.

That brought Edward from his infatuation with Bella's lips to reality.

"Aro will get to meet both _Alice_ and Bella," she said Alice's name with sudden loathe and Bella's with boredom.

"He did not seem to care about her knowledge yesterday," Edward challenged, wrapping a tight arm around Bella's waist.

"That's because she was "dead" yesterday. Anyways, he told us to bring you back, girl and _all_." She said that last word looking at Rosalie, Alice, and I.

"We'll follow you then," Alice spoke casually.

Jane glared at her, but started to walk, passing Edward and his protective grip on Bella, deeper into the ally. Alice quickly followed behind her, touching Edwards arm with affection, and Edward followed behind her. Rosalie patted my hand and followed after them. I was planing on following Felix and Demetri, wanting to use there body mass as a shield from Bella and Edward's love, but Felix bent down and whispered lowly into my ear, "Ladies first."

And, I obeyed, armor-less into the lions den, asking myself why the hell I was there!

* * *

_**A/N:**_ I hate Victoria sooooooo much!!!!!!!

And, you guys disappoint me! I mean, **ONLY** 1 out of 33 freaking people chose 'Other' on the poll... I mean, c'mon people... Don't you want more creative writing than just two boring, obvious possible out comes? I mean, people are like: _Edward always gets Bella! Bella need Victoria!_ And, that may be true, but wouldn't that be common and expected? No one wanted to see something new - like Bella leaving both Edward and Victoria or, or **dieing**! I would have loved to see that!

I'm just sad... I was really hoping for 'Other'... =-( Anyhoo, thanks for reading, and I'm almost done with the next chapter. Sorry this one took longer than I expected.


	28. Stubborn

**_Stubborn_**

"Welcome, welcome," Aro chimed, standing up from the pedestal. "Isn't this wonderful," Aro asked the men who sat on either side of him.

Caius and Marcus, who sat upon the same dais as Aro, stared blankly in the sullenly decor of the room, more ancient than the stones that made the bricks of the walls. Neither of them looked as if they shared any of the same entrainment as Aro and the rest of The Guard did with our display. Their faces were molded with too many days and too little culture to hold the same essence as Aro. Aro seemed one of those who were built to be Gods, as where his brothers seem to find their power boring and the curse of immortality dulling.

Not Aro... From this meeting with him, I saw that he, like Laurent, praised the little things of time with the fullest attention and concentration - a product of having the talent he possessed, no doubt.

"It is so happy that you are still in our grace, Edward. From what Jane has shown me, it is in much thanks to Victoria. Through Jane's eyes, you were so very close to extinction. That would have been a sorrow in my heart that I would forever bear." Aro's language was so decorated and tone so cheerful, I felt as if I was under-animated about the situation.

"Yes, Aro," Edward said simply, his voice masked of emotion. He was clutching Bella to him, as if she were a treasure that was in danger of being taken, which she was. She was in the ultimate danger that neither Edward nor I could prevent.

Somehow, I was not as faded by this threat as one might assume. I think the moment she saw Edward, the connection I had with her heart beat dissipated into a bleakness. As if Bella was already dead, and all I had left of her was the empty shell of the past.

"But, nevertheless," Aro began, looking between Edward and Alice. "I am thankful for the way things. It has brought us new friends and updates of old ones. You must give Carlisle my approval of his talented family. It puzzles me how he has managed to sustain such a life and diet." He paused for a second to gaze at me. "You must tell Laurent I miss his company dearly. He is always welcome."

"I will tell him," I spoke in a monotone, using the same control as Edward.

Aro laughed at my mimic. "Please, relax. All of you. There are no punishments to be received this evening... Well, none that I can foresee at the current moment, but no one can be more sure as Alice of how our meeting will end."

Alice's body seemed to slightly tense at his words. "Nothing is certain," she said causally, smiling.

"From what Edward has shown me, it quite reliable. You carry a wondrous gift," he praise, giving her a meaningful look.

"It is as much of a problem as it is a help," she answered modestly, with a bashful facade.

"But, either way, impressive, and just as intriguing as your's, Edward. I envy much of the convenience your talent must give." He now gave Edward the same suggesting look as Alice.

Edward did not smooth his expression, but his eyes seemed to harden with a new caution. "It is no more useful as your's, Aro."

Aro frowned, and motioned his hands helplessly. "That is the way you see it, but you know my views."

"I do," Edward said lowly.

"See, such convenience!" Aro laughed.

The room went silent for a moment as Aro and Edward shared a long stare.

"Just out of curiosity," Aro said lightly, looking to the pale faced Bella who shrunk deeper into Edwards side.

"It is her decision," Edward replied looking down.

Looking fully at Bella for the first time, Aro explained, "Your immunity to Edward's ability confounds me, and I am curious if you would be so resilient to mine. There is no pain. I would just simply like to touch your hand for a moment." He said this to Bella in a patronizing tone, like an adult to a toddler.

Bella, to my grave surprise, looked to me. Her was face nervous and seeking approval - my approval! I held her gaze with amazement, utterly confused by this action, before finally nodding.

Aro saw this, as did Edward, but Aro, unlike Edward, was completely amused with this drama. Edward's face was the same, but his eyes showed he was hurt by this small action.

Biting her lip, heart pounding, Bella walked to the Volturi's stage. When Bella came within reach, Aro very graceful leaned forward, palm up, just as he had done with me.

I don't know why it seemed so odd then, but Bella looked so amazing at that moment, hand to hand with the pale being. It was the first time I noticed her bravery. I guess, I always saw her courage as annoying idiocy, but, then, in that room full of blood drinking beasts, she shined with heroism. I still think she's an idiot, but I admired that bone in her more than I did before.

Watching Aro's face phase to straining concentration, I knew he could not penetrate her.(_**A/N:**__ That sounds dirty._)

Smiling, he pulled his hand away, making Bella jump with the quick motion. She stumbled back to Edward, making me fill with sorrow again. Bella was so very good at this - lifting me up only just to drop me. And I am so very pathetic for allowing this, especially since I held no serious ties with her. I loved her, but like I've said so many times before, I was not in love with her.

"I am as enthralled as I am disappointed," Aro stated with a mischievous grin that made Edward growl lowly. "Oh, Edward, you cannot tell me you are not curious either..."

Aro turned a steady gaze between Bella, Edward, and finally me. "I was hopping Bella's thoughts would have explained more of this... affair."

It took me a second to catch on to what he was hinting.

"Laurent made a well decided decision when he changed you, Victoria," Aro spoke as if complementing me, but then his tone darkened. "You were truly the definition of our kind, but then you met Bella. It is interesting how quickly she has differed you. Were you that desperate?" He turned his thoughtful eyes to Bella criticizingly. "Edward's infatuation, I can understand. She so singularly appealing to him, but to you, what is she?"

Edward's eyes were hard on me, asking the same question.

I lowered my gaze, shamefully to my hands. "A friend," I answered in a whisper Bella would not hear.

I heard Rosalie make a sarcastic noise as Edward took a sharp breath.

With humor Aro contradicted, "We all know that is not true. You have been closer to her that Edward has."

That pissed me off! I shot a threatening glance at Aro, hissing loudly, "That is none of your business!"

Suddenly, my head seemed to explode as every limb on my body was ranked with searing pains. I didn't even feel myself hit the ground, but after agonizing seconds, that's where I was, and Bella was right by my side, panic stricken, and holding my face,

"That was not kind, Jane," I heard Aro scold so lightly.

"Are you okay," Bella breathed.

"She's fine," Edward said through clenched teeth.

I looked at his posture. His muscles were tensed, fist clenched, expression hard, and eyes glaring. Bella observed this too, and stood up and moved away from me and back to Edward, taking his hand. And, just like that, she had tasered me again.

Aro was delighted, and for the first time, Marcus's had a different expression - interests.

"What do you see, Marcus" Aro asked his brother. "What is the stance of these relationships?"

"Does this really matter," Caius asked impatiently, his face hostile.

"It's interesting," Aro answered simply, seeming a little frustrated. "Marcus?"

"It's complex." Marcus voice was much softer than I could have imagined. "Strong, but changing in heights."

"Of, course it is..." Aro chuckled.

I got to my feet smoothly, glaring at Jane who smiled pleasantly.

"Edward," Aro asked. "You know what I am thinking..."

He nodded, wrapping his arm around Bella. "I will not permit it."

"It is not your decision."

"No," Edward growled, pushing Bella behind him as he took a defensive, hostel stance, his eyes wild and dangerous, sending the guard into the same fury.

At that, Bella gasped, her eyes widened as she gripped the arm that held her back.

"Edward," Aro sighed.

"No," he growled again.

Aro made a careless expression and shrugged. "Well... Jane."

When Aro said her name, I looked to where she stood – very close to dais – but then my vision was drawn immediately back to Edward when a sound of heavy impact had echoed the silent. Edward lay on the ground, his face crumbled, limbs were tensed painfully, and shaking as he withed under the same gaze I had endured a few moments ago. Impulsively, I stepped in front of Bella with the intention of holding her back from Edward, but the moment I moved, I was pulled down by the same internal pain that brought me down before.

It seemed like hours before I was released from the torment. As the ability to think on something other than the pain came back, I saw that I lay in the same exhaustion as Edward, our bodies only a foot apart. I didn't want to move in fear that I would be sent through the same agonizing spasms, and Edward looked as if he were thinking the same thing, his eyes shooting from me to Bella to Jane and back to me, but not making any attempt to get up. I did the same, looking between Jane and Bella. Jane's face was drawn in heavy concentration, but Bella still stood, looking between Edward and I with concern strewed across her features, struggling in Alice grip. I looked away.

"I think that is enough," Aro's voice shuttered the silence.

Jane looked away from Bella to Aro, frustration written so childlike on her face. I turned to Edward who eyes were already on me. _Should we get up_, I asked myself, but received my answer from Edward, who nodded sharply. At the same pace, we both go to our feet. The second Bella was set lose from Alice's strength, Bella was in Edward's arms again.

"Bravo," Aro chimed, clapping. "I mean, forgive me, I was itching with curiosity, and look, Bella is not harmed. But, that was brilliant!"

I simply scowled at the elder, disgusted with his approval. It was only him and a few morbid guards who found what had happened entertaining. Caius sat expressionless, unaffected by the scene in any sense, but something in his postures gave away that he was actually paying more attention than he was before. Marius on the other hand could have just not been there at all. His eyes where averted to the floor, sightless, light-less. My point is, neither of the Volturi were near as sinister as Aro betrayed himself that moment.

Aro watched Edward and Bella's still stance thoughtfully, and then looked to me with a smile. "You are such a masochist, Victoria. You truly love theses positions don't you?"

Fighting the urge to growl at the insult, I said, "I do not understand what you mean."

Laughing, Aro replied, "Don't be coy. First James, and now Bella. Same effect, just a different situation."

"I do not understand," I repeated lowly, my hands fisted at my sides. _How dare he speak anything of James! _

His eyes turned sympathetic as he spoke to me gently. "It is not a bad trait, Victoria. It is a potent factor in us all. There has always been romance in pain, but you embrace it so bluntly. I do not mean to vex you. I am simply admiring your strength..."

Was that it? _Is that my problem? I am a masochist?_

"Yes." Edward suddenly turned to me, his eyes strong with passion, not for me but for the situation between Bella and I. "That is your problem."

Bella, who's face I had not looked at since she attached herself to Edward again, suddenly looked up at Edward angrily. "No."

He looked at her gently. "Bella, you don't understand..."

"I do," she said, her voice hard. "And no." Looking at me, she promised, "No! There is nothing wrong with you. No."

I looked away from her, and back to Aro, who(of course) was watching the scene as if it were a show on T.V.

"What is the point of this, Aro," I asked, tried of having my life on such display.

Frowning, he looked at Bella. I could hear her heart accelerated an extra notch, making all of the Volturi's domesticated pets grin. This is what they were waiting for. If it came down to it,_ would I die for Bella_, I asked myself.

"All of you," Caius spoke, scanning our little lot with disgust, "have violated the most important of laws. You have endangered us all. The knowledge of our existence must be contained, or you could ruin the way of the world! It is a secret kept not just for us, but for all of civilization! With this action, you have proven that cannot be trusted with such a secret."

"I can vouch for them, Caius," Aro spoke lightly, interrupting our death sentence. "Come now, it is merely a girl, not an apocalypse. There has been bigger fall out among our kind."

"Yes, the problem is easily dealt with." Marius surprised me by speaking. Though his voice was so low, it was barely significant to the argument.

With irritation heavy in his voice, he objected: "There are consequences, Aro."

Smacking his lips, he extended his arms outwardly, gesturing to us passionately. "That would just be such a waste," Aro complained.

Looking at Aro darkly, he spoke in a two sided tone, "For whom? I think the world can afford the loss of four vampires and a girl."

Sighing patiently, "Carlisle would be crushed, Caius. We would lose a great friend. Can you not find mercy for these young lives? Youth is prone to many mistakes, and we cannot be so volgure as to punish their first one."

"It is a crime." Caius rose over Aro's calm, bringing a sharp look to Aro's feature.

"Not among friends," Aro hissed lowly, glaring at Caius.

Caius held his gaze steadily for a long while before throwing his hands up in defeat and slumping in his thrown, a hand in his hair, the other on the bridge of his nose.

Aro turned to us, his face just as bright as ever. "Now, _friends_"_– _Edward stiffened – "forgive Caius' mood, he is just very put out with the situation, but, perhaps, you could console him."

"And how is that," Edward asked thickly, his head lowered, so that his eyes were inclined venomously towards Aro.

Aro chucked lightly. "You know what I am to say Edward. Your talent would be most appreciated. You could have anything you wanted" He looked quickly at Bella, and continued pointedly, "_just as you want it._"

Alice looked up at Edward nervously. Obviously Aro had poked at a crack in Edward's foundation. The only thing I could guess is that he could keep Bella if he agreed, and keep her "_as is?_" I question myself. _Oh, human! Keep her human..._ When I understood Aro's coded words, I realized just how heavy of a decision he had to make: 'Yes' could keep Bella both human and alive, and 'no' could damn us all. _How stubborn is he?_

"Not today," Edward answer wisely, neutrally. _Very stubborn..._

Aro's face looked disappointed for only a moment before it lit up and he turned to Alice. "Dear Alice, you would be absolutely adored!"

Smiling charmingly, she declined. "My place is with Carlisle."

Aro frowned once again, but as before, looked to Rosalie and I, smiling hopefully. "Rosalie? Beauty and strength are very admirable! Emmett would be as equally welcome?"

Rosalie, took the diva attitude and rolled her eyes. "I don't do well out of America, and you would inevitably kill Emmett in seek of silence."

It was my turn, I bit my lip, already pondering my answer.

"Victoria," Aro said so soothingly. "I hope Laurent's decision will not influenced yours. He was just too much of a free soul to settle in one place, but that's not you, is it? A steady environment would be immensely beneficial in your... situation. You would glide into place very smoothly here, I guarantee. I mean, unless there is somewhere else you find more appealing or welcoming...?"

"I aI looked quickly about my surrounding and who filled it. Joining them sounded like a dream. What he promised was like offering air to a person drowning. I mean, how could I say no to such a proposal, but with one look into the past, I saw the face that determined it all.

"I'm beyond flattered, but I must say no... I've spent much time with Laurent, and think I have inherited a trait or two."

Aro didn't look nearly as dismayed as he had after Edward's and Alice's rejection. In fact, he didn't looked frayed at all, just turned to the last person anyone expected.

"Bella?," was all he inquired.

Her eyes grew just as wide as the rest of the rooms. I don't even think Alice saw that one coming.

"You can't be serious," Caius stirred.

"What?" Aro asked innocently. "She could be valuable?"

Edward growled a little at the objectification of Bella. I would have too, but I was too shocked at the serious expression on Aro.

"Really, Aro," Caius asked, quizzical.

Aro grinned. "You are so close-minded, my friend. Think of the talent she already posses amplified."

Caius just sighed, shaking his head, unconvinced.

_Man_, I thought giddy from of the pressure in the room, _Aro's got Caius whipped._

"Well, Bella," Aro asked looking at her, hopeful.

She looked at me again, as if I had the answer. Then, using Edward's words, in nearly a whisper, she whispered, "Not today."

He sighed sadly, leaning deeply into his seat. "Well, I tried. Just remembered you all are always welcome."

"Is that it," Caius asked incredulously. "They go off without any punishment or consequence."

"You see, Caius," Aro said tiredly. "This I why they do not want to join. You make us out as merciless demons."

Rolling his eyes, he looked up and spoke. "Aro, there are rules, and if we do not enforce them in some way, what use are we?"

"Yes, yes," Caius, Aro agreed. "but I was not finished..." Looking back to us, he continued where Caius stopped us. "As my brother has said, there are repercussions to your mistake, but they are up for negotiation. Can you swear to them, Edward?"

That was getting annoying – Aro leaving out things that only Edward can fish out.

Edwards jaw flexed as he looked down at Bella. "If I can't?"

"Then she may not leave," Aro answered with that dangerous tone. "What is more important, Edward: her heart or her life?" Aro raised his hand like he had done to Rose and I and Jane, it was a vampire lie detector test.

After Aro's question, I finally understood the main question. Could he honestly provide an answer. _Is he that stubborn?_

Not going to sit around and wait for the answer, I slowly propelled forward, drawing the attention of everyone. Aro calmed his alert guard, and watch with a grin as I stood in front of him. I placed my hand to his and waited, letting not a single drop of doubt into my head.

After a long time, he pulled away, and I wondered back to my place, very self conscious of the eyes that pounded my skin. _Did I do the wrong thing_, I question nervously.

Aro looked at us gently, bringing relief to my system. "Demetri will lead you at where you can wait for the setting of the sun. It has been a most wonderful time. You must come back and visit, and hopefully under light circumstances. Give my regards to Carlisle and Laurent."

I wanted to dance! I was Alive! Bella was alive! And to top it all off, Edward was too! I had done all I possibly could have done. Now, all that is left is the denouement.

* * *

**_A/N:_** School owns me... I sleep, eat, and do work... That has become my life... I mean, I had time to write this, but I HATE VICTORIA!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh... it's almost over... I think I'm gonna have alternate endings. One me and for you guys! Hope you liked the chapter... Sorry for it's um it being about 2 weeks late.


	29. Forever

**Forever**

Have you ever seen the grand painting of Adam and God that sits frozen and adored in the Sistine Chapel?

Adam lays lazily on the only foundation he has ever known, while God, reaching to him with so much passion and suffering and wist, is being pulled away by His pure and perfect angels who look to be trying to protect their deity from the sinner, Adam... Their fingers are so close, it would only take the smallest muscle of Adam to bring them together.

When you look at this, knowing it is just a painting, it renders a suspense that will never be quenched. All you can do is just watch the still scene in a silent frustration and accept that it will never be.

Is Adam is too weak or too stubborn or too prideful to take the hand of God? Or maybe it's something simpler, something we can recognize in ourselves: Maybe he's afraid that if he gives into such divinity he will lose himself. That maybe God will pull him from the safety of the ground to the rich chaos of the air, where God at some point will realize the ugly of Adam and drop him... Maybe Adam is just not strong enough to take the chance of falling, because he knows what he will land on like the breath in his lungs, but not where he will land. How high would God take him before He realizes the truth of Adam's slate. So, Adam sits, safe but longing, **forever** in the still motion of fear and weakness.

Can you blame him?

Yes. Fear is not an excuse.

Forever is a regret that is far, far too strong to share alone.

The moment we were allowed into the street's, they were still crowded. The adrenalin that was keeping my thirst at bay had run it's course. The first whiff of the air was maddening. My throat caught fire as my arms were being pinned behind me, and I was being pulled back across the threshold I had just stepped over."

"Alice," I heard Edward's voice growl, "get the car."

Agonizing minutes of struggle and fire later, I was being shoved into the small vehicle, my limbs still heavily bound by the same strength that stopped me from feeding in the first place. Not in my right mind, I tried my best to get lose, but these hands held me tightly, surly, but somehow gentle. Well as gentle as they could be. Still, it was surprising considering it was Edward.

I felt the momentum as the car propelled us away. Soon, the burning began to lift. Not fade, but weaken gloriously. As the distance grew between us and the city of many people, I found that my brain began to sooth from the ragging thirst to the understanding of the situation, and I stopped struggling, growing grateful as I realized Edward had saved my life.

The car was brought to a stop. Edward's grip was still present but escape-able if I was still spiraling in that frenzy. He helped me out of the car, and I saw we were on the side of a long, empty, narrow road that was creepily shadowed by tree's that crouched over us as if about to pounce, hiding the night sky. Edward walked me into the forest, Alice to the left of my body, watching me cautiously. Their bright eyes sparkling under the skewed moonlight.

"I know, Alice. I can smell them too." Edward answered Alice's unvoiced question, his tone almost spiteful.

I could only guess they were talking about that hint of human a mile or two away.

Once the road was out of sight, Edward let go of the arms he had behind my back. "You will not kill any humans, you understand?"

"Edward, she won't be able to stop herself if..." Alice pleaded.

Taking a deep breath, and letting it out in a frustrated burst. "Stay here," he said lowly, glaring at me.

He closed his eyes, and let "that" side take hold, racing off into the trees.

I obeyed, and sat down on the dew wet fallen leaves and mucky soil, putting my head between my knees and my hands in my hair as I held my breath, blocking out any possible scents. The only understandable comparison to the way it feels to be thirsty is the way a human feels when they are really, really sick. My throat hurts, my ears feel compressed with tension as my head pounds with the deprived necessity. The only thing I can think about is the pain and how wonderful it is to not feel this way, which is the hunger. A sort of panic hits my emotions when I am this thirsty. I have never been so tame in this state as I was then, waiting for Edwards return.

For minutes Alice didn't say anything, just stood silently. So, when she spoke, it made my senses jolt with the unexpected soft tone. "I don't hate you, Victoria."

Before I could even try to think of a reply, Edward sped in, his eyes a lighter gold – he obviously had fed himself. Dragging behind him, alive and breathing but still, – paralyzed – a full grown bear in his right hand and a huge boar in his left. He tossed them in front of me. The breath I allowed myself to take made me forget of my preferences and dive fervently into the animals. Every drop seemed like heaven to my starved body. When I was finished, I whipped my mouth, just in case I let a drop go astray in my haste. I stood up, and looked shyly at my audience, and then frowned in distaste at the animal carcasses that lay at my feet.

The first clear thought that came to my head came of out of my mouth. "Where's Bella?"

I tried to remember seeing her or hearing her, but could only reminisce pictures of Edward holding a shaking Bella to his chest in the dark lobby.

"She is with Rosalie," he answered tightly.

Silence ripped through the air like a bad smell, making me want to clap just have a different sound.

"You know," I started conversationally, breaking the quite. "I'm suppose to be Jewish. I'm not suppose to eat pork."

The joke went unheard as Edward and Alice shared a stare. Suddenly, Alice turned and took off, leaving sight and hearing range. I looked back to Edward silence asking the reason for her sudden departure, a little fearful. _Why would Edward want me alone. _

"So we can talk with privately," he answered.

This caught me off guard. "What about," I asked defensively.

He shot me an irritated glance. "About everything..."

"Okay," I answered nervously. I never expected to have a one on one conversation with Edward, and was completely unprepared for the interaction. "So, I hear there's a tear in the ozone or something, and that the world is gonna get hott-"

"Victoria," he cut me off, his voice annoyed. "Please be an adult."

Glaring, I spat, "Fine, Edward. What do you want to talk about specifically? Do you want to know why took Bella, or why I didn't decide to kill her instantly? Do you want to know why she ran to me that night you came back? Do you want to know-"

"Victoria," he snapped again, his voice much louder and stern, although his expression was smooth and calm.

"What," I growled hatefully.

Taking a long, deep breath through his knows before speaking, he said with a foreign kindness, "I want to thank you."

"What," I whispered in awe.

"Thank you," he said again, with earnest sincerity. "You have saved Bella's life, my life, and my family from hurt."

I just stared at him for a minute, speechless. "Are you serious," I muttered, finally able to find words.

The soft expression that was melted on his face turned to a thoughtful hardness as he spoke. "I do not trust you or approve of you as a being, but I am grateful that you held her when I could not... I do not fully understand the relationship between you, but from what I have seen, it is... intimate and deep." The words where hard for him to acknowledge. I could see the repugnance in his eyes.

I was too taken aback with his gratitude, so I awkwardly patted his shoulder and spoke dumbly. "Aw, it's... Um... I mean, no problem?"

He smiled the slightest. "It's okay, Victoria. I know that your intentions we only for the betterment of Bella and yourself. We're selfish and damned... That is our nature."

_Speak for yourself_, I thought._ I'm not selfish!_

At some personal connection or conflict with his own words, he lowered his eyes as his expression became very passive. "If Bella wishes for you, I will not object."

Everything went so muted, when the wind blew, it sounded like thunder against my eardrums.

"What," I manged fumble, dumbfounded.

_What is happening here_, I asked myself, but got my answer from Edwards sorrowful, heavy voice.

"I think that you and Bella are... a good pair. Even though I hate the idea more than I can describe... You even her out in ways I cannot. The way she looks at you..."

Numb with amazement, I stumbled again. "Wait...Wh... What?"

"Please, Victoria," he said in an angry tone, looking at me hatefully. "It is her choice, and if that choice sways in my favor, I do not want to see you again..."

"What if Bella still wants me around." I asked, testily.

"She won't," he snapped, sneering.

Insulted, I was about to come back with something cleverly mean, but Alice was back, looking meaningfully at Edward.

"It's time to go," he said quickly, then turned in the direction of the road.

Reluctantly, I followed.

The whole plane trip was... discouraging. Bella was so wrapped up with every aspect of Edward – his hands, his face, his arms, his eyes... She looked at him so passionately. Her eyes glowing contently. Even though I sat in the isle next to her, she appeared to have no consciousness of my being, of my skin, of my eyes, like she once seemed to be overly sensitive to. I think if I touched her, she wouldn't have noticed.

So, I returned to where I go – my mind. Through lowering my hopes to a practical, numbing state, it made time go by faster than I expected. When the plane landed, I was shielded in so much aloofness, I nearly just walked away as if I were just a stranger to the Cullen's going about my life with destination and aspires that had nothing to do with their family or **their** Bella...

But it was **my** Bella that stopped me from just disappearing. Right as I was going to turn away from everything we had shared together, her eyes caught mine. They lit up with panic as she stopped, dropping Edward's leading hand to watch my next move. I was frozen in place, in an epic internal battle. My mind was telling me just to walk away, elude as much pain as possible. It would be easier for the both of us if goodbyes were skipped over, but every fragment of my body screamed to go – no, run to Bella, and kiss her reassuringly, promising to never leave her side.

I did neither. I just nodded and followed behind the Cullen's who had stopped to appraise the scene. Bella took Edward's hand back into her's, stroking it lovingly, and continued on. I just followed...

They had their reunion, expressing family-like behavior. I mean, when vampires reunite they embrace companionably. But, Cullen's added such life to it... As if they weren't immortal and had to savor every moment they could. I went about it all completely indifferent. I didn't know what to do with myself. Esme and Carlisle were the only ones to really acknowledge my presence – their smiles were grateful but they were more interested with the affections of their family.

Exasperated to an agonizing level. Experimentally, I called Edwards name in my mind. He turned to me.

_I am going away for tonight. Tell Bella, if she asks, that I will see her tomorrow, but only if she asks. Make up an excuse for Charlie if you need to._

He nodded and turned back to his family. This was conveyed in maybe half a movement, so no one noticed the little connection... Well, no one but Bella – observant little girl.

Can Adam, the first being, be so weak, so fearful? Opportunity is reaching for him! How often does that happen? Maybe that's what it is... Maybe the painting isn't about God and Adam/mortals, but a satire about the world, about fear, about life... about love... Maybe it's about how easy the hardest things are to do, or how blind someone can be to the brightest of lights. Maybe it's about accepting what is given to you...

Everything is so close, and all we have to do is simply touch it... just one lift of a finger, and we're saved! Is it really that easy?

Yes. Fear is no excuse.

Forever is a regret that is far, far too strong to share alone.

* * *

**A/N:** Decode that! Get ready for the end ---- next chapter!


	30. Author NOTE 1221

Wow.... I haven't updated in months... I do have a excuses:

The biggest being my dad died(no joke) November the 1st. I haven't been able to get out a word since then, but it's all better now.

The second is school of course! School has taken everything from me but my life. I study more than I sleep.

Third, I just haven't been able to decided how I want to close the story. And I've been arguing with my beta bro about it for some time as well...

BUT, hey, I promise to have the last chapter up before 2010! I've just got to get my thoughts together, okay! Thank you guys for being patient.... I guess....

Hope you guys are well! Stay awesome!


	31. The End

A/N: _I made it! I did it just before 2010! I didn't edit, sorry... I don't have the time. I'mma 'bout to go party! Happy New Year, y'all! I congratulate for making it this far in the story and thank you for sticking with me. Be safe and enjoy life! _

**The End**

His figure was still, but he was right where he said he would be.

"Victoria," he sighed, and opened his arms.

I ran to them, buried myself into his body, and sobbed louder than the wind. He just held me, silently, selflessly as he always had.

"She doesn't want me," I sobbed, gripping his flesh like it was the fading hope that I had invested in Bella.

Pulling my face away from his shoulder, he brought my eyes to his, and in a defensive tone asked, "She told you this?"

I bit my lip as my face scrunch together, fighting the sobs so I could speak. "No," I moaned, putting my head down on his chest. "She doesn't have to. I can see it. The way she sees him... She doesn't want me! She never did!"

"Shh," was all he spoke, stroking my hair and holding my wight so completely.

"Why doesn't she want me? She needs me! We need each other! That's how it's suppose to be." I begged him for answers he couldn't give.

"She loves you, Victoria. You know this," he promised over and over again. His words were so sincere and serene. The tone was calming, but not a resolve... So, I cried and begged and screamed through the pain of how I knew this story would end.

I knew she would return to Edward. I mean, she hadn't decided yet–or at least told me yet, but I felt like I knew the answer. I knew the answer all a long! Through every warm touch, through every passionate kiss, through every adoring word she place in my mind. I knew the reality of it all. I knew this day would come, but that didn't make it any less painful.

After bringing myself past the hysterics, I was an exhausted mess. Lying on the ground, my head on his lap while he, slumped against a tree, caressed my face soothingly, the pain calmed from it's once ragging sea to the stillness of a lake. It was still there, just waiting to break out into doubling ripples at the toss of a pebble.

"You were right," I sighed sitting up and putting my head in my hands. "You said this wouldn't work – you were right. You're always right"

"Do you know how long I have wanted to hear that?" Laurent chuckled, putting an arm around my shoulder.

I gave a weak smile. "You're my backbone, you know? I should just have stayed with you."

He was silent for a moment before speaking very gravely. "I wish the same thing... more than you could ever imagine. I love you so much, Victoria."

I nodded sadly. "I know."

"Then you should know how stupid a thing staying with me would have been?"

I gave him a sharp look.

He studied my face with longing, sorrowful eyes. "I am usually right, Victoria, but not about what I told you before."

"What?" my voice was emotionless with shock.

He took a deep breath and looked to the sky. "She is good for you... She is better for you than anyone could ever be... Even me... "

He made those words sound like the heaviest syllables to push, but when they were out, a look of relief washed over his face, like a man surfacing from suffocating water to a fresh breath oxygen.

"I never thought it could happen, but it has," he continued. "You belong to no one but her. She belongs to you evermore. Do not doubt this."

I stared at him, speechless. "I... I love you, Laurent."

He gave a warm smile and kissed my check. "I know... Go to her. I'm sure she's waiting." (A/N: AH, CORNY!)

I sped as fast as I could back to Forks, to Bella's house. The falling feeling that had been haunting me for weeks now was in full strength. It swept over my entire body in chaotic waves, bringing understanding into my consciousness: I was IN love with Bella. I had been for so long!

It wasn't a feeling of falling at all. It was flying, a pulling, a happiness, a danger. It was truth in it's very sharpest, brilliant form. I am no longer broken, nor am I whole. I am simply and painfully a half to another. Whether that other wants to make me complete, did not matter as much as it had before. If she wants Edward or someone else, I will survive. I am healed of the fear I have carried in my heart. The shield I have bore has been melted away, and I am open and alive, ready for pain, joy, hate, love. I will breath it all into me and exhale it out as future and present come and pass like seasons.

I was a few minutes from Bella's house, hopeful and centered, when something crashed into me. I was thrown into trees, clearing at least three of them.

"WHY?" Edward roared, leaping on to me, and putting his hands in a dangerous grip around my head. If he wanted to, he could end me so easily. Instead, he just pulled my face to his furious, burning eyes.

I stared wide-eyed back at him, panting and shaking with fear. "Don't kill me," I gasped.

He shut his eyes and took jagged breaths, trying to clam himself. "I should," he spoke lowly. "You took Bella and then stole her from me! I should kill you now!!"

"You left her," I shouted, suddenly venomous. This may have been my only chance to speak my mind about the subject. "You took all the light she had invested in you, and then nearly stole her ability to be happy, you bastard! Leaving her blind, alone, and in a world she had no defenses against! Now, get your fucking hands off me!"

He shook with utter rage. I thought that the end of my life was near. But, shockingly, he released me, standing up and stepping back.

"Thank you," I huffed, getting to my feet. Once again, I went to pulling twigs and leaves out of my hair. These Cullens really make staying clean difficult.

I was about to take off running again when I heard a sad sound. Edward was crouching against a tree, his head buried in his hands, and deep, yet soft sobs falling from his lips. Okay, so normal, pre-Bella Victoria would have just walked away and felt nothing. But, post-Bella Victoria knew she couldn't take a step without turning around to lend some comfort.

"Edward," I spoke precariously, testing his sanity.

His shoulders just shook harder as he slumped further into himself. I fluttered to his side and gently put a hand on his shoulder. God this is strange, I couldn't help but think.

"I agree," Edward spoke, his voice holding irony seasoned with brokenness. "Why are you still here? Bella... She's waiting for you. I will not get in your way again, I swear."

"Wow, that's self sacrificing," I commented dully.

He picked his head up to glare at the hand that still rested on his shoulder. "Would you rather me kill you like I want to?"

I shrugged and slowly sat down next to him. "Wait... Does this mean she chose me?"

He took a heavy breath and whispered. "A long time ago... Back in L.A."

"But did she tell you herself, tonight?" I pressed.

He looked at me through mournful, heavy eyes. "No... Not with words..."

I rolled my eyes frustratedly. "That's all Bella uses! You can't get her to shut the hell up. So, you were going to kill me over something that hasn't even been confirmed?"

He didn't answer.

"Ugh! You idiot! She's chosen you! It's always been you! Now you've gotten us both all worked up for no reason!" I nearly shouted.

He put his head back in his hands and muttered, "No, Victoria. She has chosen you..."

I sighed. "Edward.... Have you missed the past 48 hours? This is the first time you've been out of her sight. I mean, she kissed you! And looked at you the way I wish she would me..."

He flashed an disgruntled look at me before lowering his head back into his hands. "Bella never closes a book without practically re-reading it.... All you just mentioned is closure, a farewell. Besides, if she did chose me, I wouldn't accept." He paused and took a shaky breath, pulling his hands from his face to run them through his hair. "When I took her home, she was asleep the moment I placed her on the bed. When I pulled away from her, she said your name, grasping the air... for you. I told her you would be back in the morning, and she..." His voice broke, causing him to halt his sentence for a moment before continuing. "She opened her eyes, completely lucid and awake. In the softest voice she said my name... And then she said... she said," he stumbled again, taking a deep breath. "She said, "Goodnight.""

I bit my lip unsure of what to take from the tale. "'Goodnight'? I think you're reading too much into it..."

He puffed an irritated breath, but translated. "Yes, she said 'goodnight'. Not 'will you stay with me'. Not 'don't go'. She just said an easier form of goodbye... She chose you Victoria. Back in L.A., she ran to you. Back at the airport, she pulled away from me to go after you. I wasn't positive of this fact until tonight. It was your name she asked for. It was you her fingers searched for. It was the farewell in her voice when she said my name."

The air was silent except for Edwards occasional groans.

"Speaking hypothetically," I said suddenly, reminding Edward I was there. "Say she does chose you..."

"I will refuse, and tell her... what we had would never be again. She has gotten past me. That is what I hoped for when I left, you know? I wanted her to be happy and out of danger."

I chuckled. "The girl is danger... But why did you have to hurt her so badly?"

He sighed. "Like I said, I wanted her to be happy. I had to hurt her. I need to... And I thought she needed it. Most people turn hurt into anger to survive, and anger becomes hate. I thought that if she hates me, she would move on..."

"Oh, well, she's not "most people", hum," was all I could think to say. "Now, say she chooses me. Where will that leave you, your family?"

He looked at me pointedly. "She will always have my family, and as will you. If we put up with Rosalie, they can surly handle you. As for me... I will travel for a long time."

"If I was just an observer, Edward, I would be rooting for you. You're amazingly generous and selfless... You must see why I have in my mind that she wants you? I posses none of the qualities you do."

"That's why she wants you... Bella is a simple girl. You have the flaws in the right places, I think... Well, Victoria, it's got to be about 9:30(am). Bella's probably up by now. And I've got to get to my family... Then get out of here before I snap you in half. I really don't like you, Victoria. And I hate you right now, so it'd be best if you left now."

I stood up, and, again, awkwardly squeezed his shoulder. I was about to run off when I had to ask a final question.

"Edward," I began, "yesterday, you said that you would not object if Bella chose me... Why then did you attack me? And just now, you threatened my life? Are you gonna "snap" and try to kill me if your prediction is correct about Bella's choice?"

He stood up slowly, running his hands though his hair and looking to the sky again. "Never... I could never hurt Bella like that. I apologize for letting my sorrow get the best of me. As I told you, hurt turns into anger. I'm not perfect, Victoria."

"Bella thinks you are if that's anything." I tried to complement.

"Yes... That was the biggest mountain in our relationship. Flaws are more beautiful than perfection..." He spoke heavily.

I smiled. "I understand."

"Take care of her," he whispered gingerly.

"That's gonna be a chore," I chuckled, and tossing him one more admiring glace and grin, took off in the direction of my heart. (A/N: Oh, and the cheesiness starts now!)

It only took me about five minutes to get Bella's front door. Charlie's car was gone, so, taking a deep breath, I walked into the unlocked house. I waited for a second to see if my intrusion had been heard, but the only living sound was Bella's breath and heartbeat. Quietly, thinking she must still be sleeping, I I crept up to her room. Her door was open. New, golden daylight shone through the opened window, setting the dust particles alight as they swarmed around the square room like glistening fireflies. Amongst the glowing room stood a figure, placed directly in front of the wide window, creating a beautifully shaped silhouette.

"Bella," I whispered.

Painfully slow, she turn around, blinking tears out of her eyes that strolled down her cheeks like rain drops down the lily petals. We just stared at each other, neither of us making any movement. Even she was holding her breath.

She never looked so beautiful as she did then. Her eyes glossy but clear. Her skin pure and bright. The set of her mouth was youthful but wise. Her stance, elegant yet sturdy. The yellow, morning light encased her body in a majestic, angelic gleam. I don't know if it was her or me, but she looked like a completely different person... No longer a life-beaten, sad girl but a mature, brilliant woman who could withstand a hurricane standing up. She looked more sure than tomorrow, and every heartbeat seemed poetic and guided. I listen to it thump heavily, as if it were trying to say something words could not explain, something passionate and sad.

"Bella," I groaned, suspense killing me.

She blinked and inhaled shakily. Looking down at her hands wonderment, rotating them steadily, she smiled. "It's gone," she finally spoke, softly. "There's memory but no pain..." She looked up back to me and her smile grew to a blissfulness radiance as her eyes expressed ease. "I'm free," she half giggled, half sobbed. The tone of an angle.

Slightly confused, I asked, "From what?"

She turned her eyes to the side, and looked reminiscently at the ground, bringing her hands to her heart, speaking adoringly, "From Edward... I'm free to love again, to feel love again." She looked back at me, her eyes suddenly very present and passionate. Then she ran to me, crashing into my hard chest with skill, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, and pulling herself as close as possible to me. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I nearly sobbed with joy.

"I'm so sorry for what I've put you through," she whispered in my ear, stroking my hair. "Could you give me another chance, please. I need you."

At that I cried tearlessly, clutching her to me. "I am in love with you, Bella," I promised. "Putting up with you is my kind of sport."

She laughed deviously. "Same here, Victoria."

She tried pulling away from me, but I only let her get a foot away before catching her lips with mine. It started off gentle, but as it progressed, led to something very hungry. Before I knew it, I was lying on Bella's small bed. She was straddling me. She hovered over me, running her hands through my hair as I held her face in my hands so that I could get access to her face and neck and shoulders whenever I wanted. Her body seemed new and more delicious. I just couldn't get enough. It was when I felt Bella's hands start to pull up my shirt when I came back to consciousness.

"Bella," I said uneasily into her neck, frozen in place. I hadn't prepared for this. When I said she was delicious, I mean, she was making me hungry.

She pulled away from my hands, and I let her. "Hey," she complained. "My body, my risk, okay? Now, shut up, sweetheart, and relax! You don't have to do annnnnything," she purred.

"Bella," I said again, but my tone was serious. "Are you sure?"

She gave me a radiant smile before giving me the slowest, sweetest kiss. "I am sure about everything. I love you," she whispered, sending me flying higher than ever.

That morning was full of love and pleasure and so much beauty, like the rest of our ever.

**A/N:** _Seeeeeee!!! It's better they did it now instead of when Bella was a bigger stupid face! And sorry, Blaze, no sex scene(or as you call it a lemon)! I can't take it that far, babe... But, hey.... I know that the final words of this kinda suck, but I promised the end before 2010... I'll make an epilogue soon, tomorrow maybe. _

_SOOOOOO MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! It has ended the way you guys wanted it to... The boring way. The awesome way will just always be locked away... I wanted to share it, but noooooo this is a "V/B" story that has to end lamely typical. _


	32. Its taken years

**A/N:** After many years, I've decided to make a sequel. So, I'm doing this again as an effect of the reviews that keep showing up every time I check my email. My summer is very dull. I've got the time. I like doing things I said I'd never do (again), and I also want to attempt redemption from the terrible writing my 13-wee-old self exhibited. Other than essays, I haven't written in years and years. I'm 18 now. Hopefully I can best my younger self, but I'm pretty nervous. I promise to have a plot this time - even made an outline. I am a lot less dyslexic, but still struggle with dysgraphia when given the opportunity. Thanks for sticking with me. Special thanks to **Rioshix** and **Avanwolf** (I was just informed of your awesomeness yesterday.) for the confidence to take up fanfiction again.

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